Yeah, it’s that time ‘O year again,. Yuhs know, Thee
Most Wonderful time ‘O Spew! As put a Sock in it already, Andy Williams!
Uhm, when I subject Y’all to Ye last of my remaining,
witty repartee from thoust Mystical Isle of Nofendersville. With my End of Year
Overall Winners selections, Mateys! Which Y'all Clearly look forward to, Man
Overboard!
As Here goes Nothin',
with another Bevy 'O totally Nonsensical, Zany “First Take” Off Ye Cuff
selections made over Ye Holidazes’, below.
While Y’all can Compare ‘N contrast these
choices with last year’s No Fenders selections in the following link.
http://www.nofenders.net/2021/12/golden-tailpipe-awards-2021-streamliner_0543638078.html
CATEGORIES
1. Racer of Year
Winner: Francesco Bagnaia
This could easily be my Story of The Year.
Since I’m not sure where it ranks in Biggest Chokes v Greatest Comebacks of All
time? As Factory Ducati rider Francesco Pecco’ Bagnaia found Himself in an seemingly
insurmountable Championship Points Deficit following the series Halfway point
at Germany’s Sachsenring. Where the Italian found Himself a staggering 91
points behind then Championship leader Fabio Quartararo. Nearly a four race Deficit,
Aye Karumba!
But that didn’t stop Bagnaia from going on a
tear beginning at the Dutch Grand Pri,one race later. Winning four races in-a-row,
i.e.; Assen-Silverstone-Spielberg-San Marino! Before future Werks’ Ducati teammate
Enea Bastianini stopped Bagnaia’s streak at Motorland Aragon…
As Francesco ultimately won seven Grands Prix
to title rival Quartararo’s four. And went to the season finale at Valencia
needing to only finish P14 or better to win the title! And simply mounted the
biggest comeback of All time enroute to securing His maiden MotoGP World Championship!
With Quartararo finishing an obviously Disappointed Runner Up…
Other
Choices
Will Power, Enea Bastianini and the other “Usual
Suspects”
2. Story of Year
Winner: Indy Cars Fading to Black?
Yeah, know some in Ye Bloggosphere are saying
things Ain’t as Bad as many of us are feeling regarding the Nonstop Blunders of
IndyCar’s Penske Entertainment!
First Thar was the El Stupidio decision to
incorrectly rebrand Indy Lights to NXT. Which like Racer’s Marshall Pruett
worte, is akin to somebody Pooping in The Punchbowl!
And then there’s the typical burying of a major
setback like in the fourth or fifth paragraph of another repugnant Sunshine,
Bunnies and Rainbows IndyCar Press Release about being the most Sustainable
Racing Series on The Planet, SPEW!
Uhm, oh yeah, we’re gonna need to Ditch or
delayed release of the All New 2.4-litre V-6 twin turbo Hybrid motors for 2024
in order to be able to get the Hybrid system to work with the antiquated
2.2-liter twin turbo V-6 motors we’ve been using since 2012! In order to make
sure we’ve actually got 33 cars on the Grid for some Oval in Speedway, Indiana…
Arse-sume it’s just Mwah, Butt! Why does it
feel like Penske Entertainment just keeps trying to put Fires out with it’s El
Flambe Press releases!
Case in Point is All of the Dribble over it’s
vaunted 100 Dazes to Indy six parts Documentary TV Show coming out this spring.
So for Humour I spent some time searching my Zap-2-It’s TV Guide for The CW TV
Channel, Huh? Like surely everybody’s Heard of that, Righto? Chirp Chirp Bueller?
Gee Wally, Err Penske Entertainment’s No. 1
Stuffed Shirt Mark Miles. It Ain’t on my Spectrum Cable TV package! Although I
did find Vice Pacific, which hopefully will show the re-broadcasts as “Advertised”.
Or is that supposed to be VICE like NXT? And pretty sure that Ain’t Miami vice…
Now I understand what they’re trying to do by
enticing New, Younger Fans to a Sport Almost Nobody knows about besides it’s
Dedicated Hard Core Fanbase. But once again we’re focusing upon Mother
Speedway. And like usual, the rest of the regular season simply Doesn’t exist!
And then there’s the Horrific decision to let
it’s iRacing licence lapse, Err be given to a Horrendous Gaming Company enroute
to Torching “relations” with that Oh, So Coveted Younger Generation…
And I could go On ‘N On, but I’ll save my rant
for a separate No Fenders tome, since I need more space…
Other
Choices
Guess I should at least mention the other obvious
candidates, i.e.; Formula One’s Porpose Gate, Red Bull’s Cost Cap Overspend, or
Max Verstappen’s multiple four year Old Tantrum throwing tirades!
3. Race of Year
Winner: Phillips Island’s MotoGP Australian Grand Prix
This had to be the Best race of the year for Mwha!
As I Scirbbled here on No Fenders previously how it was an ‘Ol school Donnybrook
of a race!
As MotoGP returned Down Under for the first
time in three years. And it quickly became a Drafting Duel du Jour! As Thar was
a multiple train ‘O riders scrumming for the lead, i.e.; Francesco Bagnaia,
Marc Marquez, Jorge Martin, etc.
Whilst Suzuki’s Alex Rins went from P10 to the
lead! And then in a single lap was shuffled back to fourth! Yet on the final lap
Rins went from third to first, with Bagnaia doing the opposite, i.e.; Dropping
from the lead to P3! While Ye Pinball wizard Marc Marquez was quietly scoring
His 100th MotoGP Podium.
As this was simply an electrifying race! For a
series which probably gets lost in All fo the Chatter, eh?
Other
Choices
Indianapolis 500, British Grand Prix, Rolex 24
4. Sportsperson of Year
Winner: Erica Enders
Erica Enders won Her fifth NHRA Pro Stock
Championship last year in Dominating fashion! Winning an impressive 10 “Wally’s!”
As Erica just seemingly goes about Her Business of winning Wally’s and
championship yearly with No Fuss, No Muss! And really never gets acknowledged
for Her impressive Domination of the Pro Stock category!
Other
Choices
Britany Force, Simona de Silvestro, Angie Smith
5. Flatliner' of year
Winner: Ron Caps
Although I follow NHRA Drag Racing less ‘N less
each year. When I did stumble into it on Fox TV. It always seemed like they
were showing Ronald C. Capps winning another Nitro Top fuel Floppers’ (Funny
Cars) Finals!
Even more impressive is that Capps never led
the Points standings until the very final race at Pomona, CA. Where He not only
won His second consecutive NHRA Funny Cars Championship, but did so as a first
year Team Owner! And Beat Robert Height, who with eight season Wally trophies,
arguably should have been Champion…
Other
Choices
Britany force, Robert Height, Erica Enders
For the Conclusion of this Golden Tailpipe Awards Categories 6-9, i.e.; Rider of Year, Sports
Car Drivers of Year, Freak of Year and Quip of Year, Please visit the following
No Fenders link below…
http://www.nofenders.net/2023/01/golden-tailpipe-awards-2022-streamliner.html
Picture Credit:
"RADD!" A Modern Day interpretation of
the Golden Submarine originally made famous by Barney Oldfield debuted at the
2008 SEMA Show. (Image source: autoblog.com)
