Saturday, December 18, 2021

The “Un-Golden Locked Down” Golden Tailpipe Awards: 2020 Streamliner edition

Or may be they should be Brown, Black ‘N blue or Bronze instead?  And Nah, No What Can Brown do for You Jokes Here, Hya!


Otay Race Fans, Sorry for the Delay, and may be Nobody Cares, Eh? But thought I’d finally release this vintage Yarn that’s been trapped in thoust Cellars on Ye Isle ‘O Nofendersville awhile Mateys’, which Y’all can compare ‘N contrast vs. Thy 2019 No Fenders vintage in the link below.


As Here goes Nothin', with another Bevy 'O totally Un-Scientific, Sentimentally Biased selections made below.


Although I must confess that I’d only come up with a few names before the Google Doomsday Machine made the Wide World ‘O E-E-E lectrics’ a total Nightmare for Mwah, Thanks Blooger! Not to mention being in COVID 19 Lockdown forever. Running Thy Trusty ‘Ol winDOUGHS 7 Puter’ for a further eight months before finally Arse-simulating to thoust Wacky World ‘O winDOUGHS 10 and a Bevy of Putrid, Crappy updated cough cough! Zoomtext 2020/Zoomtext Fusion 2021 Screen Readers, ACK!



1. Driver of Year

Winner: Takuma Sato

Yeah I know, this one might be a Head Scratcher for Y’all? And I Luv’ed For The Love of Indy’s Raymond Hando’s Quip about “Mailing It In!” Although that was for the previous Holiday…


But this is my blog After All and “I’m the Decider!” And Yes, I’m making the choice off of one lousy ‘lil Oval race. Especially since it was at the first ever Empty Mother Speedway. But I just loved the fact that even though Scotty Ye iceman 2.0’ Dixon was the Odds On Favourite and led two-thirds or more of the race, Takuma Sato Never Gave Up and won his second Borg Warner trophy after starting from third, which I think is his career best Indy 500 start?


Other Choices

The Usual Suspects, i.e.; Scott Dixon, Lewis Hamilton, Josef Newgarden, Max Verstappen Blah Blah Blah…


2. Story of Year

Winner: Bahrain Grand Prix “Great Balls ‘O Fire!”

Don’t even think I need try explaining this El Correctomundo! As we All know about that most Horrifying Shunt Romain Grosjean endured in Bahrain! When his Haas F1 car Speared the Armco Barrier, Split it in Two, Caught On Fire in an Mega’ Crash and then being Trapped in the ensuing fireball for nearly 30 Freakin’ seconds! For which All I can say is Thankfully Romain Dug into his Inner reserves, Extricated Himself and miraculously Walked Away!


Other Choices

Although in a totally different vain, as Sinead O’Connor  sings fabulously on her Biggest Hit Song, Nothing Compares to You, Romain!


3. Race of Year

Winner: Petit Le Mans

Another typical IMSA Donnybrook event. As there were multiple collisions and mechanical maladies with the different Class leaders. Like Dane Cameron aboard the #6 Team Penske/Acura colliding with the #77 Mazda of Oliver Jarvis, Not Clark who John Hindhaugh always calls him. Or the Masterclass passes put on at the daunting Downhill 135-140mph corner, which Alexander Rossi did aboard the Penske Acura DPi!


Whilst it’s always somewhat amazing how an IMSA 10 hour race can go down to the last 10mins and the two leading Daytona Prototypes collide, with Ricky Taylor trying to overtake Pico Deranti, causing them to both spin off track with Deranti’s #31 Whelen Engineering Cadillac getting the worst of it!


As Renger Van der Zande following the duo in the Wayne Taylor Racing Cadillac Zoom-Zoomed thru the carnage, barely avoiding Ricky Taylor’s Team Penske Acura’s Bowling Ball to win the race which finished under a Full course Yellow Flag; Uhm, Just Sayin’ IndyCar!


Other Choices

Sure Thars Ah-Plenty’, including the Usual suspects, i.e.; Indy 500, etc. But I cannot remember anymore…


4. Sportsperson of Year

Winner: Gracie Trotter

Typically I’d say that Erica Enders-Stevens, a Four-times NHRA Pro Stock Champion who Doesn’t get even close to the Attenzione She rightly Deserves! Could be my yearly “Penciled-in” choice. Yet this year I went with a totally unknown Femme Fatale Driver I’d never heard of before her interview on Speed Freaks. As the 19 year old Teenager Gracie Trotter in only her eighth ARCA Stock Car start made History by becoming the first Female winner in ARCA and Stock Car History!


Other Choices

Erica Enders-Stevens, Britany force and All the Other NHRA le Femmes…


5. Flatliner' of year

Winner: Ron Caps

As my original scribbled note says it All: Gator Nationals "Spin 'N Win", which I believe Ronald C. Capps, now a Two-times NHRA Funny Car champion said it was a real ‘Ol School Pedal-fest! For which once again, if the link below works? I’ll let The Freaks do the Heavy lifting instead…


Other Choices

Antron Brown and J.R. Todd are Always Favourites of Mine!

For the Conclusion of this riveting Golden Tailpipe  Awards Categories 6-9, i.e.; Rider of Year, Sports Car Drivers of Year, Freak of Year and Quip of Year, Please visit the following No Fenders link below…