Monday, December 6, 2021

F1: Knights in White Satin, or Spy v Spy?

As why did the Obi One Kunobi Jedi Knights GP feel like a never ending rerun of those classic Mad magazine Spy v Spy comic strips…


First and foremost, I really am Not a Fan of either current Formula 1 Drivers World Champion protagonists Maximus Hothead’ v Golden child’, listing them in current Championship standing  order, since Max Verstappen leads with nine wins vs. Lewis Hamilton’s eight, even though they’re now tied on points with 369.5 apiece.


Really do Not even know how to put into words what has to be the most bizarre Formula 1 race I’ve ever “Watched,” Err listened to in my 35 years of following Formula 1! And couldn’t help but agree with Martin Billybob’ Brundle’s assessment about are we Making Up the Rules as we go along?


Since for Mwah, my Brilliant summation of Sir Lewis v Mad Maxx’ was obviously they’d both been Naughty since they’d been summoned to the Principal’s Office following that Donnybrook, Uhm Knife fight of a Grand Prix!


And I’ve still got Sky sports F1 Pit Reporter Theodore, Not Lenny Krabbitz’s “Knights in White Satin,” Uhm Arabian Nights song he theatrically Crooned from Pitlane during the opening segment of Friday’s (Free practice) FP2 session stuck in my Head! Hmm? What’s that ‘Ol Moody blues Hit Classic Nights in White Satin’s chorus about “letters Are written Never meaning to send…”


As I’ve never, ever, ever Heard live on the TV Broadcast as Messer Krabbitz said about FIA Race Director Michael Masi playing Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? Will you take the $64k or what’s behind the Curtain? When asking Red Bull’s Jonathan Wheatley if Red Bull was willing to give back the lead and Slot in P3 behind Hamilton or have him let the FIA Race Stewards review Verstappen’s Argy-Bargy Overtake, Say What?


To which Wheatley calmly said we’ll take P3 as long as Esteban Ocon’s in First! For which I began Rootin’ for Ocon to do the Unthinkable and thought it’d be Hilarious if Ocon won Ahead of Hamilton and Verstappen or visa-versa…


As I came up with a new nickname for Golden child following the race whilst basically Shell shocked! Like I mean I was simply Dumbfounded, perplexed and Stupefied! And All I could do while sitting thru the Post-race Post Op, was say “Mr. Bubbles, Mr. Bubble’s, Mr. Bubbles!”Since Sir Lewis is just Oh, so Squeaky clean, aren’t you “Mr. Bubbles?” Which for reasons unknown morphed quickly into Mr. bubbles being sung in a somewhat Haunting tone that recalled Ozzy Osbourne’s Mr. Crowley Heavy Metal Rock song for Mwah. For which the song’s opening Organ intro is so Apropos for this race!


Mr. Bubbles, What’s got into Your Head?


And you’d definitely have to say that Sir Lewis is definitely a Bit of A Magician whose Driving reminds me of one of Uncle bernaughty’s Alter Ego nicknames, the “Teflon Man!” And No, I’m Not trying to choose, pick or suggest which of the two Roman chariot Drivers at Jeddah was in the “Right.” Since Absolutely Both Lewis and Maximilian ’ were both driving very Cheeky Sunday!


As I still cannot wrap my Head around that most Bizarre incident on the straightaway where Verstappen dually complied with team orders to Slow Down and give the lead position back to Hamilton, who in turn himself Slowed Down before colliding into the rear of Verstappen’s car, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot! As neither driver wanted to be a Sitting Duck behind the other since the DRS Detection Zone was fast approaching…


And just how many G-DAMN Times does Max have to give the lead back to Lewis? As I thought Verstappen’s cleverness of slowing down, giving Ham Ham, Err Mr. Bubbles the position back before Blitzing past him thanks to his DRS being enabled was brilliant! And to the “letter” of the law. But the Race Director said No No No Max, you need to do Better than that! Now go write on the Blackboard I will Not Pass Lewis 50 More times!


As I find it Funny Ha Ha? Kind of Strange when I hear the “Professionals” muttering things I’ve previously said. Having told Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen following the Brazilian Broo Ha Ha Dustup that I find that Verstappen drives like Der Terminator’, nee Michael Schumacher did! To which one of the Sky Sports Talking Heads echoed those same words during the Post-race Debrief alongside Damon Hill who knows a thing or two about that! With Hill saying Hamilton’s not intimidated by Max, just weary of him…


Or how I told Claudio’ following Sunday’s race that it probably would have been a completely different race if previous FIA Race Director Charlie Whiting had been in control instead of Michael Masi. Which apparently Thee Piped Piper of Red Bul, nee Chris Horner’s echoed something similar, albeit I haven’t “Read,” Err listen to the article yet.


Meanwhile, Nary a Peep about Hamilton Colliding with Ocon on one of the race restarts or Sir Lewis Driving “Dirty” Himself, doing his own “Irv the  Swerve” impression! Being warned by the Race Director for Driving Max Deep into the corner and forcing him Off-track, or when passing in Double Wave yellow Flags, Oh Never Mind! I could go On and On, but then Y’all would think I’m taking sides, Righto?


As the totally sanguine Herr Wolff during the Post-race Debrief and Hamilton’s subdued, Flat Monotone responses were All I needed to Hear to know who’d won the race…


And although I’m Not comparing the two, i.e.; Max Verstappen. I cannot help but think of IndyCar’s Alexander Rossi once famously Quipping to reporters: “I’m Not here to Make Friends!” Regarding his Hard Driving style!


And stealing the Speed Freaks Crash Gladys’s comment.


“Three Restarts

Two Red flags

And A Ton ‘O Virtual Safety Cars…”


Fa la la la la la!