Wednesday, December 15, 2021

F1: Abu Dhabi’s Cage Fight. WW Smackdown’ or Race Director TKO?

As What’s that ‘Ol Sayin’ about Two Pythons Slither into A box? Hang on a moment, let’s get a Different Box…


Obviously, We’ll All be Adding the 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix to our memory’s rolodexes! Yet for Mwah, when I previously thought about season ending Abu Dhabi Grands Prix, two races immediately spring to mind.


First I fleetingly recall whom I initially called Master Zebb’, nee Sebastian Vettel’s unexpected first F1 World Championship eleven years ago, when Vettel became Weldmeister. Laughing Maniacally over Fredrico Suave, aka Fernando Alonso being bottled up behind the lowly Vitaly VO5’ Petrov for some 40 Odd laps with Fernando and Vitaly telling each other They’re No. 1 Afterwards!


But that was long before I tired of Sebastian’s Anticts causing me to nickname him ‘lil Syd’ viddle instead, as Vettel seems such Yesterday News now…


And prior to getting up at Oh Dark 30 for this year’s Yas isle Spectale, I totally recall five years ago over another rainy weekend on Ye Oregon coast, albeit it was Thanksgiving weekend instead.


Arising at 4 Freakin’ 30AM I sat in our Motel “Cabin’s” room in a chair facing backwards underneath the television hung from the room’s ceiling for three Bloody Hours. Totally Bathed in just the Cathode tubes Rays in order to keep the volume Down so Not to Disturb the adjoining Motel Patrons, since I totally wanted to witness, Err Hear Nico Rosberg Defeat Lewis Hamilton for the 2016 F1 Drivers Championship! Which Nico did by finishing second, previously being the Only Driver to Defeat Hamilton for the Championship since 2014, Aye Karumba!


No, I’m Not gonna try Debating the Greatness of Lewis Hamilton, since I’ll forever be a Der terminator’, nee Michael Schumacher Devotee. But I suppose it speaks some sort of volume to Mwah that this was the first time in five gory years I elected to not only get up at bloody Oh Dark 30’ for the race, but also did so for Qualifying, since I was simply gripped by the two protagonists title fight!


What I find Funniest over this whole Contretemps inflamed by the Media was that You were either a Team Max or Team Lewis Fan! For which I was neither of and believe I’ve previously stated my position of Not liking either Maximus Hothead’, nee Mad maxx or Sir Lewis, aka Golden child, nee Mr. bubbles…


And I’m Not gonna try discecting the whole Gory race. Since unless you’ve been Hiding in a Cave or Shipwrecked on gilligan’s Island? Although I tend to recall that even they had Short Wave Radio and could get the news. You invariably Already know the outcome of Sunday’s Championship deciding Showdown on Yas Isle…


I’ll admit I was Rootin’ for Maximilian since He was starting from the favoured Pole position, but lumbering off the line, Sir Lewis lept into the lead and seemed to be serenely on his way to a record setting eighth F1 World Championship, Sigh!


And when Red Bull pulled an audible and brought Verstappen in for a second Pitstop, needing to run twenty consecutive Michael Schumacher Blitzkreig Qualie’ style laps to Overtake Hamilton by averaging 0.8 second a lap faster, I crossed both sets ‘O fingers and began chanting c’mon Max!


Although Max made valiant inroads upon Lewis’s lead, it soon became apparent the Dutchman wouldn’t be able to catch the Brit, and about 10-laps to go, just before Red Bull’s Pied Piper Chris Kringle’ Horner told the Sky sports Pundits they’d need a Miracle, I’d already uncrossed my fingers, stopped chanting and resigned myself to the fact that Hamilton would indeed become World Champion again, Drat!


So We All know what happened instead, ironically thanks to Team Willy’s Nicholas Latifi, might I add in a Mercedes powered Williams FW43B racecar No less! Who Crashed upon lap 53 of 58, which is when All of the ensuing Drama began!


Red Bull did everything right, i.e.; crucially bringing Max in to bolt on a pair of brand new Super Sticky Soft Pirelli tyres in Hopes of being able to catch up to Hamilton who was on very old, 43-lap Hard rubber compound racing Slicks, albeit I like the number 44 better instead, Hya! Ultimately leaving Lewis A Sitting Duck!


But the crucial bit and ultimate Key to Verstappen’s incredulous victory was Horner’s Dressing Down of FIA Race Director Michael Masi over Why Aren’t We Getting these lapped Cars Out of the Way?


Late Sunday evening following the race I was asked did Max Deserve to Win? For which I initially explained how Verstappen did absolutely Nothing Wrong and had won the race legitimately.


As I’d sat on the couch early Sunday morning just laughing Hysterically in absolute Disbelief over what had just occurred! And simply wanted Max to win since there hadn’t been a different winner besides Mercedes since Vettel and Red Bull won their last Formula 1 Championship in 2013! And Hamilton had only been Defeated once since 2014 by his Mercedes teammate, the Evil villain Nico Rosberg, since Mr. Bubbles is Oh, so Squeaky clean!


Yet if I’m being totally truthful, Hamilton deserved the win since He’d led the first 57 of 58 laps and we’ll forever Argue over the validity of Only Allowing the first five lapped cars between Verstappen and Hamilton to be waved around, but Not the other three lapped Cars trailing the two title protagonists! Since the Racing Gods Smile on many in Mysterious Ways…


But I was more impressed by both Lewis and father Anthony’s composure, Graciousness and Sportsmanship following this Humiliating Defeat, even if afterwards we were informed of Sir Lewis bemoaning over his In-Car radio This is Manipulated Man!


Since I can only ponder what type of Tantrum Max would have Thrown if the results had been reversed after his Hissy Fit of walking Off the Stage following finishing runner-up in Saudi Arabia a week earlier.


As for Mwah, the real Question is why in this world of Nonstop Infotainment, What do we The Fans really want? As how many tired, endless Debates have we had over Indy Cars liberal use of Red flags to ensure proper Track Clean Up in order to ensure a Green Flag Finish a la RASSCAR’s Green-White Checkered Flag practice. Because if we follow the Rules as specified in the FIA’s Sporting code, then the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix should have ended under a Yellow flag with the Safety Car leading Hamilton across the line P1 and Max P2, unless I’m completely cornfuzed over the Rules that were explained Sunday.


As the Real $64k Question is what is Better for Formula 1? The Drama of an Unexpected Winner after eight years of Mercedes Domination, or running Grands Prix under the Sporting regulations?


After All, did Takuma Sato winning the 2020 Indianapolis 500 under a Yellow Flag Behind the Safety Car after his Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing teammate Spencer Pigot Crashed into the Wall Diminish Sato’s second Indy 500 victory?


Yet Congratulations to Max Verstappen and Red Bull for a Stunning victory and winning this year’s Formula 1 Drivers Championship!