Some “Quick” Double S’ weekend race thoughts

And No, that’s not for S**T! But my OH, so Clever slang for Saudi Arabia and Saint Pete…

 

It’s Funny how your tastes & priorities change over your lifetime. Since as of this past Thursday, I was still undecided on whether or not I wanted to “waste” my time “watching”, Err listening to the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix Saturday morning before the live airing of Indy Cars St Pete Qualifying. Especially since they “butted” up against each other…

 

As I still cannot adequately explain why it was completely Fantasmic when Der Terminator’, nee Michael Schumacher was crushing the opposition weekly at la Scuderia, ergo Ferrari! But now, I don’t have the time, interest or patience to witness MaxiMillions similar domination of the sport I once so cherished.

 

As I must say, I feel somewhat like Grizzled F1 Journo’ Joe Saward’s feeling “Dirty” over the Bahrain GP weekend. And I find the whole Horner Gate affair to be rather Sleezy! Which has done nothing more than turn me “Off” even further towards thee Pinnicle of Motorsports, nee Formula 1!

 

And thus, with a certain precocious Chihuahua fondly known as Hang 10’ Hilo here upon No Fenders, and in My Heart! Who surprisingly showed up on my Doorstep unexpectedly over a week ago! Not to mention Verstappen’s utter domination of the field in Bahrain with a 23-second Whitewashing! Well, Y’all can probably guess which way I was leaning, Eh?

 

Whilst I cannot say I’m overly surprised also by the ongoing investigations regarding FIA President Mohammed Ben Sulayem. For which I’d simply say that there’s multiple Power Struggles occurring in F1, which has always been it’s nature! Since what was ‘Ol Uncle Bernaughty’s maxim? Oh Yeah, Divide and Conquer!

 

Since obviously certain elements wish to see the removal of ye Pied Piper Chrstian Horner and Messer Ben Sulayem! Which perhaps is All a concerted power vacuum of Liberty Media to completely control the sport and spice up the Show? Since Fernando Alonso’s Quip Hits the mark the best. Saying F1 is Dull On track and needs the scandals off-track, or something to that effect…

 

At the last moment, albeit the “Universe” told me in Spades I shouldn’t be trying to “watch”, Err listen to the Grand Prix. I opted to switch on, mostly because I was curious how 18yr old teenager Oliver Bearman would do as Carlo Sainz Jr’s replacement.

 

Yet with Catherine “babysitting” me thru my Open Heart surgery recovery’s convalescence, who wanted to run a load of laundry during the Grand Prix, albeit promising to close the laundry room’s door…

 

Preceded by the telephone obnoxiously ringing during the F1 Broadcast. And with MaxiMillions leading again and disappearing off into the sunset, Err Moon’s rising underneath the floodlit race track. I simply elected to switch off Thy Telie’ with more than halfway left to go. Although I did snort over the F1 Pundit whom proclaimed Eat, Sleep, Win again when calling Verstappen over the line first to the Chequered Flag once again, yawn! Upon later watching the F1 race Highlights package.

 

Thus Ollie’ Berman had just moved up to ninth place when I switched off, with the Englishman being either the twelfth or fourteenth English F1 driver to race for la Scuderia, nee Ferrari – depending on whom you believe? Did an excellent job by finishing a credible seventh deputizing for Sainz Jnr, who’d had emergency Appendicitis surgery over the weekend. With both Carlo Sainz and Berman’s father being shown standing together in the Ferrari garage during the race.

 

Although Arse-sumedly Bearman will go back to His “Day Job” of racing for Prema Racing in the FIA Formula 2 Championship, where He’s a multiple race winner. Whilst Sainz Junior returns to His Ferrari cockpit Down Under in bloody Melbourne…

 

The other point of interest for me is the raging battle Heating up between the two Racing Bulls drivers. As I’d expected DannyRic’ to be waxing Yuki Tsunoda. But the Japanese driver has outqualified Daniel Ricciardo 2-0 I believe. With the duo being tied 1-1 on race results. With the Bahrain GP’s results being engineered by Racing Bulls, when Tsunoda resentfully pulled over to let Ricciardo by for P13. Before the Japanese driver gave Daniel the Irvine “swerve” during the races Cooldown lap!

 

As DannyRic’ needs to pick up the pace to give His Dream of returning to Red Bull next year any Hope!

 

Thus I just eagerly awaited IndyCar Qualifying from ST Pete instead. Although my new “Vilan” Josef Newgarden captured His first Pole position since Belle Isle, 2022. And the 17th of His career, BOO!

 

Hey, what did the late Robin Miller say about “Hate is Good!” As I’ve gotta have somebody to root againxt now that Hulio’s effevtively out of the picture… 

F1: Another Tsunami looming?

Or can the opposition temper this Freak ‘O nature?

 

Forgive me for the lack of any riveting Pre-season Formula 1 banter Y’all! But as Yuhs know, I’m simply out of the loop right now. Not to mention having considerably “cooled” upon Formula 1 due to whom Claudio’ coned as the Dutch Tsunami’s utter domination!

 

Y’all know that pesky ‘lil Pipsqueak named Maximilian Verstappen! Whose made a total mockery out of Formula 1! Although I still swear large parts of His success is due to someone named Adrian Newey and His amazing racecar designs.

 

Thus I’ve totally missed  the past weeks riveting three days February 21-23 winter testing at Bahrain International Circuit. Where I’d expect that Red Bull and MaxiMillions’ were on top again, unless they’re just keeping Thar “Powder Dry” for the regular season.

 

While I do know that the first two races of the stupendously long season are being held on Saturday in order to not clash with Ramadan in the Middle East.

 

As the Bahrain Grand Prix at Sekir takes place this Saturday, March 2nd, and possibly the first day of F1 practice has already ended? Followed by the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix on the streets of Jeddah commencing March 9th.

 

Unfortunately, due in large part to the current Power Unit (PU) development freeze we’re in until 2026. Along with Adrian Newey’s brilliance! I’m resigned to MaxiBoy’ (Verstappen) Blitzing the field for another two years, Sigh! And being a five times World Champion by 2025, Groan!

 

As the $64k Question is whether or not either McLaren, Ferrari or Mercedes can actually pose a proper fight agains Max?

 

Since obviously these are the only three Formula 1 teams I can see possibly giving Max some grief! Not to mention you can never rule out ‘Ol Frederico Suave, aka Fernando Alonso. Although I don’t know how good the Aston Martin will be this year?

 

Yet with zero driver changes upon the grid for the first time in forever. Y’all would think this itself should allow for some condensing of the talent gap to Verstappen and Red Bull? 

F1: Saudi Arabia, Sin City’ and the Politics of Sportswashing

As why does my Oh, So Clever title above make me think of that Great ‘Ol Re-Flex song The Politics of Dancing, Eh?

 

“We got the Message

Heard it on the Airwaves

The Politicians Have become the DJ’s

Station to Station

The Politics of Dancing…”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLzDFbGdL5M

 

Hafta’ say what a great way to start off the Formula 1 season, with Uber’ enjoyable TV Broadcast times out here upon Ye Oregonian coast…

 

What an Insane Qualifying session that was from Jeddah! Obviously the 57mins Red Flag session for Mick Schumacher’s Mondo’ crash at Turn 11 at an estimated 170mph was Saturday’s Talking Point!

 

For which Thankfully the son of Michael Schumacher, who’d just celebrated his 23^rd Birthday on March 22^nd, was Ok with No Broken Bones and simply flown to Hospital for a precautionary medical Scan. Before returning to the Paddock the following day and telling the interviewer He’s Fine!

 

As Haas wisely decided to withdraw Mick’s ruined racecar Saturday night. Which afterwards Herr Guenter’, aka Guenter Steiner, Haas’s Team Principal said could be up to a Million Dolla Hit, Yowzah!

 

Pretty Hilarious over Sir Lewis, nee golden Child, aka Lewis Hamilton failing to advance into Q2’ for the first time since  the 2017 Brazilian Grand Prix, where He reportedly Crashed Out. Whilst Sky Sports Croftie’, aka David Kroft noted on sheer pace, it had been the ’09 Silverstone race since He’d failed to advance into Qualifying’s second round, Crikeys!

 

Also have to say it was a very enjoyable race, albeit I was torn between who I wanted to win, i.e.; Max Verstappen or Charles Leclerc, since I feel both of them are Hot Heads! But I chose Max since He’s still behind in the Championship chase…

 

And may be it’s just Mwah? And I like how the new F1 Chassis seem to definitely be doing what was intended with the Regulations Overhaul, But? It made me think of IndyCar’s (CART) Handford device, since it now seems like Nobody wants to be leading! And All of the drivers were trying to entice the other to be ahead of them just before the next DRS Detection Zone in order to call Slingshot On!

 

It's now completely Black ‘N White what Formula 1 is All about, albeit it’s Always been  about Show Me the Money!

 

But Formula 1, the FIA and Stefano Domenicali need to Quit pretending they’re changing Dodgy Nations Attitudes by bringing Formula 1 to them, which  is Nothing more then a Empty soundbite and Hollow Smokescreen! Since The Guardian’s Headline proclaiming Formula 1 Bosses continue to Bury their Heads in increasingly Blood Stained Sands says it All!

 

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2022/mar/26/formula-one-bosses-continue-to-bury-their-heads-in-increasingly-bloodstained-sand

 

Wasn’t aware that the $450 million Deal with Aramco to be F1’s Global partner in 2020 included title Sponsorship of the U.S. Grand Prix at Circuit Of The Americas, nee COTA, and I wonder if this will Bleed over to Miami and the forthcoming Las Vegas Grand Prix?

 

Then on top of that, it’s rumoured that Saudi Arabia is paying F1 $900 million over 10 years for it’s sanctioning fee to Host the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, which by my math equals $1.35 B as in Billion!

 

So how can the Formula 1 Drivers even remotely think they can influence where Liberty Media and the FIA will send the F1 Circus to race? As obviously they’ve chosen Dollars vs. Humanity, since after all Formula One is a Business!

 

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2022/mar/30/formula-1-saudi-arabia-human-rights-sportwashing

 

And speaking of putting Money ahead of Morals, Isn’t it Ironic that Liberty Media and Formula 1 were so Quick to publicly announce the new Las Vegas Grand Prix following it’s Saudi Arabia Flashpoint race? As it’s a very Sad statement towards what Liberty Media’s doing to F1, i.e.; Oversatuating the Market!

 

It’s also disappointing to Hear that the current Concorde agreement between the 10 F1 Constructors allows up to 24 races per season, which Y’all know Liberty Media will push thru in their never ending rush to Squeeze maximum profits out of Formula 1 before it All goes Pear Shaped and Attendance Drops Off again…

 

Since The Daily Mail’s Headline says it All, by proclaiming that the new, third U.S. based race in Las Vegas could become the first Billion Dollar Deal, and that F1 Has Hit the Jackpot, Baby! 

F1: Knights in White Satin, or Spy v Spy?

As why did the Obi One Kunobi Jedi Knights GP feel like a never ending rerun of those classic Mad magazine Spy v Spy comic strips…

 

First and foremost, I really am Not a Fan of either current Formula 1 Drivers World Champion protagonists Maximus Hothead’ v Golden child’, listing them in current Championship standing  order, since Max Verstappen leads with nine wins vs. Lewis Hamilton’s eight, even though they’re now tied on points with 369.5 apiece.

 

Really do Not even know how to put into words what has to be the most bizarre Formula 1 race I’ve ever “Watched,” Err listened to in my 35 years of following Formula 1! And couldn’t help but agree with Martin Billybob’ Brundle’s assessment about are we Making Up the Rules as we go along?

 

Since for Mwah, my Brilliant summation of Sir Lewis v Mad Maxx’ was obviously they’d both been Naughty since they’d been summoned to the Principal’s Office following that Donnybrook, Uhm Knife fight of a Grand Prix!

 

And I’ve still got Sky sports F1 Pit Reporter Theodore, Not Lenny Krabbitz’s “Knights in White Satin,” Uhm Arabian Nights song he theatrically Crooned from Pitlane during the opening segment of Friday’s (Free practice) FP2 session stuck in my Head! Hmm? What’s that ‘Ol Moody blues Hit Classic Nights in White Satin’s chorus about “letters Are written Never meaning to send…”

 

As I’ve never, ever, ever Heard live on the TV Broadcast as Messer Krabbitz said about FIA Race Director Michael Masi playing Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? Will you take the $64k or what’s behind the Curtain? When asking Red Bull’s Jonathan Wheatley if Red Bull was willing to give back the lead and Slot in P3 behind Hamilton or have him let the FIA Race Stewards review Verstappen’s Argy-Bargy Overtake, Say What?

 

To which Wheatley calmly said we’ll take P3 as long as Esteban Ocon’s in First! For which I began Rootin’ for Ocon to do the Unthinkable and thought it’d be Hilarious if Ocon won Ahead of Hamilton and Verstappen or visa-versa…

 

As I came up with a new nickname for Golden child following the race whilst basically Shell shocked! Like I mean I was simply Dumbfounded, perplexed and Stupefied! And All I could do while sitting thru the Post-race Post Op, was say “Mr. Bubbles, Mr. Bubble’s, Mr. Bubbles!”Since Sir Lewis is just Oh, so Squeaky clean, aren’t you “Mr. Bubbles?” Which for reasons unknown morphed quickly into Mr. bubbles being sung in a somewhat Haunting tone that recalled Ozzy Osbourne’s Mr. Crowley Heavy Metal Rock song for Mwah. For which the song’s opening Organ intro is so Apropos for this race!

 

Mr. Bubbles, What’s got into Your Head?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0RE230PlX4

 

And you’d definitely have to say that Sir Lewis is definitely a Bit of A Magician whose Driving reminds me of one of Uncle bernaughty’s Alter Ego nicknames, the “Teflon Man!” And No, I’m Not trying to choose, pick or suggest which of the two Roman chariot Drivers at Jeddah was in the “Right.” Since Absolutely Both Lewis and Maximilian ’ were both driving very Cheeky Sunday!

 

As I still cannot wrap my Head around that most Bizarre incident on the straightaway where Verstappen dually complied with team orders to Slow Down and give the lead position back to Hamilton, who in turn himself Slowed Down before colliding into the rear of Verstappen’s car, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot! As neither driver wanted to be a Sitting Duck behind the other since the DRS Detection Zone was fast approaching…

 

And just how many G-DAMN Times does Max have to give the lead back to Lewis? As I thought Verstappen’s cleverness of slowing down, giving Ham Ham, Err Mr. Bubbles the position back before Blitzing past him thanks to his DRS being enabled was brilliant! And to the “letter” of the law. But the Race Director said No No No Max, you need to do Better than that! Now go write on the Blackboard I will Not Pass Lewis 50 More times!

 

As I find it Funny Ha Ha? Kind of Strange when I hear the “Professionals” muttering things I’ve previously said. Having told Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen following the Brazilian Broo Ha Ha Dustup that I find that Verstappen drives like Der Terminator’, nee Michael Schumacher did! To which one of the Sky Sports Talking Heads echoed those same words during the Post-race Debrief alongside Damon Hill who knows a thing or two about that! With Hill saying Hamilton’s not intimidated by Max, just weary of him…

 

Or how I told Claudio’ following Sunday’s race that it probably would have been a completely different race if previous FIA Race Director Charlie Whiting had been in control instead of Michael Masi. Which apparently Thee Piped Piper of Red Bul, nee Chris Horner’s echoed something similar, albeit I haven’t “Read,” Err listen to the article yet.

 

Meanwhile, Nary a Peep about Hamilton Colliding with Ocon on one of the race restarts or Sir Lewis Driving “Dirty” Himself, doing his own “Irv the  Swerve” impression! Being warned by the Race Director for Driving Max Deep into the corner and forcing him Off-track, or when passing in Double Wave yellow Flags, Oh Never Mind! I could go On and On, but then Y’all would think I’m taking sides, Righto?

 

As the totally sanguine Herr Wolff during the Post-race Debrief and Hamilton’s subdued, Flat Monotone responses were All I needed to Hear to know who’d won the race…

 

And although I’m Not comparing the two, i.e.; Max Verstappen. I cannot help but think of IndyCar’s Alexander Rossi once famously Quipping to reporters: “I’m Not here to Make Friends!” Regarding his Hard Driving style!

 

And stealing the Speed Freaks Crash Gladys’s comment.

 

“Three Restarts

Two Red flags

And A Ton ‘O Virtual Safety Cars…”

 

Fa la la la la la!