Monday, March 3, 2014

The Tomaso Files: A Bank Robber Movie, Lap 'Hoonds, Rip Off Cable TV, Books and Turtles abound...

The famous Disappearing Sands beach, also known as White Sands beach is one of the most popular on Kona's west side. (The Tomaso Collection)
So what better way to start off the New Year's by bringing Y'all another rousing rendition of my cleverly crafted Tomaso Files selections, eh? As once again I've promised myself I'd try starting off the year by posting lightly, albeit this tends to never happen... As it's still the New year, right? 'Whale at least it was when I began scribblin' this...

Thus, just prior to Christmas, I was down south visiting the esteemed (94yr old) 'Awntie Harriet, with a bonus side benefit being that she gets the Turner Classic Movies (TCM) channel, which DON'T get me FREAKIN' started; BUTT! Really comca$t? $80-FUCKING DOLLARS monthly for basic extended cable? BITE ME! As Yuhs gots to haves the extended cable in order to get those riveting Sports channels like Verses, SPEED; Err "Peacock-lite," (NBCSN) Fox Sports One, (FS1) ESPN43, ESPN Classic, el Spanol, etc - as we DON'T even have access to Fox Sports-2 or ESPN NEWS, etc  in Seattle; but I digress...

 Ah, obviously that rant was scribbled prior to going to the soothing tranquility of island life in Kona, Hawaii...
As we watched what turned out to be a great 'lil movie released in 1975 which I'd never seen (or heard of) and was a brilliant depiction of life gone wrong, as it made me think of such classics like ITS A MAD, MAD WORLD! And was the perfect tonic in regards to the onslaught of typical Holiday fare, i.e.; Miracle on 34th Street, Twas the Night before Christmas, Rudolf the Reindeer, etc.

The movie in question was Dog Day Afternoon starring a fairly young al Pacino - who I've still never seen his brilliant film title The Scent of a Woman, which I suppose should be a definite  for Mwah, especially since I'm FREAKIN' blind; YIKES! Albeit not 100% blind; but I digress further...

As the irony wasn't lost upon Mwah as one of my two favourite FURR-Rocious Lap 'Hoonds Molly occupied my entire lap - having squeezed  her companion Pixie outta duh way, as she  spread herself out further 'N further into peaceful slumber as I watched the movie with much intrigue upon how it would end. But instead of trying to recap the movie, I'll just let Y'all try finding it on DVD instead.

And now that Dog Day Afternoon is just a fleeting memory, let me try typing out some of my thought bubbles regarding my just concluded trip to Hawaii instead before I-T all disappears, eh? (But I've already put Kona in the rear view mirror having just returned from Arizona) Although I did cleverly release my flyin' Hawaiian tome (finally) deftly scheduled to coincide with my return from Hawaii. (again)

Sadly, this would be the final trip I'd get to ride in the one of-a-kind Saturn-mobile, as I'd be humming a fictitious "Me and My Saturn" whilst riding "Shotgun" in the regaled 1993 "Root beer Brown" Saturn, which I've previously detailed in;

Although I'd forgotten to mention how the car also has its own personality and like one of the countless Myna bird's on the island, our Saturn also liked talking to us constantly with its whining steering wheel which was endlessly squawking... Not to mention the difficulty of pulling out the lap belt from the side of the floor, or ingressing/egressing this 'lil Saturn which made me think of the circus clown car every time we went some where's in I-T!

Funnier yet was the constant warm air conditioning - since it has long since needed recharging and thus just blows hot air around the car! Not to mention the totally shot window/door seal on the driver's side, in which Tomas Sr. got absolutely soaked during one day's deluge! But I did run my hands over the "Starlight, Starbright" XL Headliner once again...

And after I'd left Hawaii last year, Tomas Senior and his twin brother Alfonso got popped for $90 ticket's apiece as the Saturn's suicide automatic shoulder belts had been disconnected; OOPS! And thus the trusty, rusty Saturn was replete with those long since discontinued automatic shoulder belts... Although I laughed myself hoarse when Tomas Sr. informed us that although the car's license tabs were for June and not January, the car's owner had FAILED to install the 2014 stickers upon I-T! As Papa Tomaso had only been driving around town with expired tabs for 2+ weeks before he finally rectified this; Aye Karumba!

And I learned a new word whilst in Kona: Keiki, which means kid in Hawaiian, which I suppose at some point in life we all desire to be once again, right?

And this portion of thy elongated rant is dedicated to 'Offical No Fenders Photographer 'CARPETS - who's always inquiring 'bout what type of Animals did I S-E-E on my latest trip? (Not to mention some new flowers & plants, etc)

  • Trumpet flower
  • Red crested parrots
  • Mynah birds
  • Papaya tree
  • Day Gecko (which is green with red and turquoise)

Got to touch/hold my first Trumpet flower, who's flower sprouts into a bell shaped bulb hanging down with the bottom side looking like the end of a trumpet, hence the name.

And the next door trees have been pruned mightily - meaning the red crested Parrots weren't as noisy this time, as typically they'd awoke me each morning beforehand, but  they were definitely still there and their unique talking always amuses me, whilst we'd routinely run into a squadron each morning on our 'Walkabouts, having been passed by a tassel 'O eight no less once; while the Myna birds were their noisy amusing self's, although it was odd having no Franklins bother us at Turtle beach this time...

Also got to touch/feel my first ever Papaya tree, even getting to hold a baby Papaya sprouting from one of its branches - as fresh sliced Papaya with lime was part of our morning breakfast ritual!

And Linda took to feeding the Day Gecko's residing on our deck's outer side by offering the two Gecko's a plate of sugar water or Guava juice, which although I couldn't S-E-E 'em, I had NO idea that there are Day & Night Gecko's - who are totally different sub-sets of the Gecko family, which I'm told has a myriad of varieties...

And although I'd tried pacing myself on my Audiobooks, nevertheless I started a  fifth book which I knew I wouldn't finish before I left, which arguably was the most entertaining since it featured Seattle predominantly, as this was what I expect from a Clive Cussler novel, although it was co-written by his son Dirk (Cussler) not to be 'Cornfuzed with the mythical Dirk Pitt, who I admire for his fine selection of vintage automobiles... Hey, after all, Clive is now in his early eighty's (Age 82) so I don't really know how much of the stories he pens anymore?

One of Chrysler's rarest 'byrds Pre-Fiat merger. (Image source:
Thus having got nearly halfway thru the novel Black Wind, I chuckled to myself over the mythical Dirk Pitt Junior's exploit's in his just purchased 1958 Chrysler 300D convertible, which he'd won at an auction in Oregon before having the car completely destroyed by would-be, not to be 'Cornfuzed by Woodbey Island; Hooah! Assassins who completely riddle the car with automatic weapons fire before the younger Pitt miraculously jumps the faltering locomotive "392cid Hemi" V-8 some forty-feet off the Vashon Island ferry dock onto the departing Issaquah Washington State Ferry!

As its pretty entertaining reading; Err listening to a story taking place in your own backyard figuratively, having been upon that Ferryboat route more than once. (As I'm now just awaiting the arrival of said book at my local library so I can find out how the Pitt's and NUMA once again save the world...)

As what I really enjoy about most of Cussler's novels is learning about rare automobiles such as the Chrysler noted above, which I've never really been interested about  and hence, didn't know that the 300 stood for being the first vehicle to produce 300bhp, although the 300D convertible, an ultra rare bird with just 140 produced, saw its "Hemi" engine producing nearly 400bhp! Whilst I have witnessed the push-button transmission described in the book which always intrigued me in person in a long ago neighbor's father's Chrysler.

And I also enjoyed learning about some vintage WWI flying Aeroplane's machinery from the Isaac Bell series also co-authored by Messer Cussler, having previously scribbled 'bout the rotary Gnome Omega engine - describe in the book: The Race which I also mentioned in my award winning Tomaso Files: Chocolate Bunnies ‘N Rainbows make Kona seem a long way away...

This was just one of the many sets of B-I-G waves pounding our White Sands beach during the High surf storm. (The Tomaso Collection)
  • Saving Mr. Banks
  • Record big surf
  • Turtle beach
  • Pungent volcano rock odor - when it rains

Upon arriving in Kona, where the mercury was 85-degrees, only 40-more than when I'd left SeaTac Int'l Airport 6hrs earlier, I just cracked up listening to the local TV newscast tease for EXTREME WINTER WEATHER! WTF? Have they ever been to the Midwest, lately? But I digress...

Nevertheless, our White Sands beach across the street was completely blown out to sea within hours of my arrival, and that was before the truly B-I-G STORM arrived! As all of the islands were pounded by record surf, with our measly 12-18 foot waves being the smallest recorded; Aye Karumba!

Although the local Quicksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau Surfing contest was cancelled, along with Oahu's famous Pipeline beaches surfing area being closed off too, which naturally disappointed the bevy of surfers anxiously awaiting the forecasted 40-50 foot waves! But having learned a new word, the islands were being pounded by a Confused Sea, which means the waves were crashing into each other at several odd, converging angles which makes the ocean a very dangerous place to be, as all of the Kona beaches nearby were closed for two days - which I'm told is an extreme  rarity! And the boardwalk in town was also closed off with miles of caution tape, while I'm told the waves even lapped at the corresponding roadway...

Thus part of this storm made one of our two outings to my favourite oasis, Turtle Beach, aptly nicknamed this due to the plethora of green sea turtles who like to  tan themselves here was a very cool day with gusty winds blowing continuously, nobody in the water and everybody wearing hoodie sweatshirts to stay warm, as even the turtles were nowhere to be seen.

And I won't even go into the Monsoon rainstorm we had, other than learning not to leave the deck's doors open as the sideways rain lapped itself A-L-L the way underneath the living room table! While Linda, who took to reading me my daily Michael Schumacher updates via the 'Confuzer, looked up when the power was momentarily knocked out and said the palm tree leaves were blowing sideways! As I proclaimed that it looked like a good 'Ol fashioned Arizona Flash flood; whilst when the rain hits the warm lava rock, it transforms it into smelling like somebody's opened up a sewer drain!

And with this downturn in the normally tropical climes 'O Hawaii, we decided to take in a movie one afternoon, which turned out to be the most excellante film Saving Mr. Banks, which featured a fabulous cast and great storyline, thus I was glad to get to see it late into its cinema run, as we caught it on its last week's showing in Kona...

And lastly, if Yuhs didn't already see I-T, then it was pretty bemusing to hold the miniscule piece 'O shredded newspaper containing the article read to me by Tomas Sr. about the proposed Kona Motorsports Park project  I've since transcribed in;