Friday, March 14, 2014

Funny looking noses, Blown V-6's and a whole raft of rule changes dominate the 2014 season...

The Williams FW36 is just one of the many "Ant Eater" Proboscis nose-jobbies to look out for this Formula 1 season. (Source:
Least of all, thanks to Richards F1, I learned a new word in regards to the Funny; Err UGLY looking noses that dominate the F1 landscape this season. The word is Proboscis, which I'll let Y'all look it up in Bloody 'Ol Webster's Dictionary if you're so inclined...

And as I seem to scribble each year - the supposed "Off-season" has gone by in thy proverbial blink 'O an eye, as  your humble No Fenders scribe has been merrily traipsing about thee warmer climes of the Pacific and Southwest - managing to miss the majority of all three F1 winter tests this year with jaunts off to Hawaii and Arizona instead and thus it's even harder to fathom that three Bloody years has already slipped by since taking in the Australian Grand Prix in person; Aye Karumba!

Hence, I'm summarily not really sure of what to believe in regards to the upcoming Formula one season.

If winter testing's results are any indication of what to expect, then I'll be very happy indeed as I simply do NOT wish to see "TWINKIEBOY," aka Seb' Vettel win his fifth consecutive world championship this season - as Red Bull has struggled mightily to get its Renault powerplant to cooperate inside of Adrian Newey's inherently shrink-wrapped RB10 chassises bodywork!

Thus with all of the troubles Renault powered teams (Caterham, Lotus, Red Bull and Toro Rosso) have had to date while Mercedes Benz has played opposite fiddle, leading the majority of winter testing whilst Ferrari (with customer teams Marussia and Sauber) seems to be running in the middle, you'd have to give the nod to the Merc' runners at the moment; yet there's that nagging redundancy of why they call I-T the Winter Olympics, so don't be too surprised if either of la Scuderia's Gran Primo Piiloto's Fredrico Suave (Fernando Alonso) or thy "Iceman" (Kimi Raikkonen) or even Red Bull's Seb' Vettel winning Down Under in Melbourne this coming weekend. As I'd guess that the betting man would pick one of the two red cars? (Ferrari)

Then again one shouldn't overlook thy young "Louise 'JAGUAR" (Hamilton) or his stable mate "Brittany" (Nico Rosberg) in the works Mercedes GP cars while Sergio Perez has been enjoying seeing his name upon the top of the testing timesheet's recently in Bahrain ahead of his more established teammate thy "Incredible 'Hulkster," (Nico Hulkenberg) while the verdict's still out upon McLaren's latest challenger; the MP4-29, albeit Bloody 'Ol 'JENSE (Button) and his relatively unknown teammate 'MAGS Jr. (Kevin Magnussen) have shown to have speed in their new racecar.

Another encouraging challenger wearing the three pointed star for the first time ever this season is Williams, as Team 'Willy seeks to improve upon its ghastly ninth place Constructor's finishing position last year as this is one of the teams I'm most interested in this year, as Felipe Massa joins Valtteri Bottas in the attempt to return Sir Frank to the sharp end of the grid, as the Merc' runners have run double the mileage of the Ferrari's and Renault's; but we'll see in Melbourne who's who, eh?

While there's three rookie Gran Primo Piloto's on the grid this year, and arguably - on paper, you'd most likely rank them in the following order: Kevin Magnussen; Denmark replaces Sergio Perez at McLaren this year. Virtual unknown 'Rooskie Daniil Kvyat (Russia) has landed Scuderia Toro Rosso's vacated seat upon Daniel Ricciardo's move to Red Bull and, Sweden's Marcus Ericsson (and his chequebook) has found his way into one of the two Caterham seats. But as Formula 1 always does, don't count on this to necessarily be their final pecking order...

ah, but what about the Bloody rule changes Y'all say? As I'll let some other clever scribe do the heavy lifting and simply point Yuhs in that direction, albeit the cars are radically different due to the change in engine capacity and heavier reliance upon energy recovery devices as Formula 1 attempts to join the "Green Bandwagon," which I prefer to call GREENWASHING! A term I pilfered from Pamela, Up North Eh!

Yet throwing mud upon water, the FIA since has made more rules revisions outlined here;

And although I've already posted this link below previously, nevertheless it's a pretty good insight to the 'Mega engine formulae change this season...

So who'll win Down Under this weekend? As I guess the odds-on favourite would be Lewis Hamilton, although I'd prefer his team-mate Nico Rosberg to win the race, or even better yet would be seeing Felipe Massa on top of the Bloody podium! With his junior team-mate Valtteri Bottas scoring his first podium and giving Sir Frank an improbable 1-2 finish, while I'd like to see Jules Bianchi score  his and Marussia's maiden Grand Prix points Sunday.

ah, I guess we'll all know the outcome shortly, but as good 'Ol Bob Varsha liked to remind us: "First before you can finish, you must Qualify!" Of which we'll see how well the FIA's addition of an extra set of Pirelli rubber benefits us, the television viewers during 'Q3 Final Qualifying, as its been far too long since hearing the voices of Messer's Diffey, Hobbs, Matchett and Buxton!