Sunday, September 6, 2009

DP to RASSCARLAND?

So its funny how last night after having discussed the STUPIDITY over ALL of the Princess-mania over where Dan-dan-Daniker was possibly going with Danny B and WHO GAVE A RATS ARSE!?! (Or to be NON-PC; WHO GIVES A FUCK!) It was somewhat hilarious to come across Press Dawg’s Breaking News story alerting us to the fact that Danica Patrick is seemingly headed for a career in the Roundy-Round series beginning next year, albeit she’s Rally-Rally-Rally close to signing a new dealioe with Mikey Andretti to continue on with the vaunted IRL operation also in 2010…

GASP! BE STILL MY BEATIN’ HEART!!! SAY IT AIN’T SO? I mean what will I do without NO more Princess to kick around… Oh that’s right she’ll still be the Show Pony, Err crowd darling of IndyCar, which must be somewhat shaking in its boots about potentially losing one half of its marketing machine… I mean who’s gonna be your Daddy now? (Do You mean we might be forced to see more of Milkalicious and Sarah fisher on the Telescreen?)

So why do the names Jacues Villeneuve, Patrick Carpentier, Dario Franchitti and AJ Almendinger immediately come to mind? As at last count only ‘Juan of those four is still floundering ‘bout in CUP-LAND, albeit in somewhat second tier equipment, as Almendinger’s CV is far more impressive than Danica’s.

Yeah, Sam “I AM” Hornish, Jr. is steadily making progress, but after all, he’s a three time IRL Champion, while Robby “DIRTMANN” Gordoun & Gentleman John Andretti haven’t exactly lit up the Bomber landscape… But it will be fun to see Robby throwing his helmet at Danica after they’ve rubbed noses, Err fenders all race long, eh?

And I still contend that would Danica rather be a BIG FISH in a ‘lil pond (IndyCar) or a SMALL Fish in a BIG Pond? (RASSCAR)

As I asked Danny if he thought the secret was out about saving fuel at Motegi when running 5th with 17 laps to go or will Danicker repeat her most glorious victory once again at the Twin Rings ‘O Honda?

BUTT of course Danicka’s potential move has absolutely NOTHIN’ to do with Dinero… As after all, if the “Danistar” flames out in Stockcar Land she can always come back to the IRL… But then again the Smells like Teen Spirit Cup is the perfect place for Danica… I mean HELL! Just look how long Mikey Waltrip has paraded about the High banks over there…

Then again, what’ll happen when Princess has a hissy fit and tries doin’ her patented STOMP down Pit Lane to go tangle with ‘Lil Ironhead Junior??? Whale at least she’ll be able to share her toenail polish with Scott ‘NOSE Speed, who apparently is particularly fond of the shade lavender, but will she be able to share the spotlight with Schrub?

Uhm? I’ve gotta go take a shower… As I feel really DIRTY after all of this RASSCAR Daniker ranting!

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