Monday, May 6, 2019

The Tomaso Files: Thee Follies of being A Blind Word Hack'



No Fenders Doggytrain' at Heceta Head Beach near Florence, Oregon. Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen with Doggies' on leash and is pulling Tomaso via his white cane. Thy esteemed Mad Molly is leading the pack on the right. Then thou Pixolator, (Pixie) Mary Ellen and No Fenders Head Scribe Tomaso as the Caboose. (The Tomaso Collection)
As Y'all have probably noticed how I cannot S-E-E what I'm typing away Madly on Thy Blog, anymores', Eh? And where's Good 'Ol Jeff Olsen when Yuhs need him...


Funny how I feel like I'm perpetually scurryin' to poond out another riveting BLOB' Story for Y'all, as Thy late Awntie' Harriet christened Thy No Fenders Blog a Zillion years ago...

Since although she had Dementia and I often tired of her asking me repeatedly over whatever (racing) T-Shirt I was wearing said? Thou Joke's now upon Mwah, since I can N-O longer See what I'm wearing; But I Digress...

Thus, it's been another typical Mad Scramble to Poond Out more "Award Winning" No Fenders Blog Stories for Yuhs, my Dedicated Readers, All 3 of Yuhs, Whoever you are? Hya!

Over the past few weeks in order to take a much Deserved Break away from thou Keyboard, and Carve out some "Personal Time." Especially whenever I get the chance to "Hang Out" with Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen and her trusty lap Hoond Thy Pixolator, NO Speelchequor! I said Pixolator, Not Purolator! Who's now fondly known here in Nofendersville as Pixie-the-Wonderdog; WUF-WUF!

Henceforth, something had to give, for which I gladly planned originally upon sacrificing thou Long Beach Grand Prix IndyCar race, after having taken my first Train-ride in a Million Moons', in what surely will sound silly to Yuhs, to S-E-E as a Blind-person, who's vision is Definitely worse, could I still manage riding the train Solo?


Thus I took said Amtrak train Northwards from Eugene, Oregon, Thee always late Coast Starlight "express" from Sunny La-La Land. After being Chauffeured by those fine Florencian's F1 Spotter Jeannie & "Yosemite" John  to the Train Station. Up to Vancouver, WA.

Presumably passing somewheres nearby Portland International Raceway? As I know for certain we crept along some waterway, creep-creep-creeping into Portland's Train Station that I used to visit yearly for my Chump Carz outings.

As our train was so G-DAMN' late, approx 1hr 45mins? since Freight-trains get rail priority! Katarina', who was waiting to collect Mwah, rang me up and said where are Yuhs? Ok, I'll take the Hoonds for a walkabout.

And we had an enjoyable few Nights stay, with Mary Ellen and her "Navigator," thou aforementioned Pixie joining us later on, before transporting said No Fenders Scribe "Back Home" Again, to Thee Utter' Florence.

With our ETA originally slated to be Justin-time to catch the Sunday evening's Encore Presentation of the Chinese Grand Prix, Thee  Bloody 1,000th Formula 1 race. As let that set in a moment, Y'all!

Yet Thanxs to our typically inclement weather, we made a Beeline for Florence via the good 'Ol I-5 "super-Slab" instead, thus arriving late Saturday evening.

Per Tipicali', where has the Time Gone? As it's Hard to believe it's already thou Month 'O May! Otay, it's just round thou corner, but... Presumably you'll be expectin' lotso riveting No Fenders stories from Mwah revolving round some 'lil 'Ol Oval-track race at Mother Speedway, El Correctomundo?

Yet even when on supposed Holiday, I cannot refrain from squeezing in some more Open Wheel Racing...

As it's funny how we've gone from another arduous IndyCar Nine months Off-season to how many weeks in-a-row 'O Non-stop Racing Action. With Indy Cars and Formula 1 conveniently leapfroggin' each other weekly, in order to go six weeks straight before the Easter Bunny Screws everythingy Up; Hya!

And Thanxs solely to Mary Ellen, I got to have the Best of Both Worlds Sunday. Having taken Mwah for A Beach Walkabout', Thy first time this year, on nearby Heceta! Hey, when you're Blind, it's Kinda Hard to go to the Beach solo, Ci! NO Tomaso, It's Over Thar; Hya!

Before Returning home Justin-time' to take thou Boots off, Deposit 'em out on back patio, scurry inside to find Thee Bloody TV Remote - And turn Telie' on to hear Leigh Diffey say as Cars begin to roll... So I got to listen to whole Bloody Long Beach race with Rossi stampin' his Racing Boots on Everyone!

"These Boots are Made for Walking!"


Thus I really cannot say that Thee Long Beach Grand Prix was that exciting, although I was quite happy with Alexander Rossi's TKO! Or is that Take No Prisoners? As I'm still Rootin' for him to win his first IndyCar Championship. And the Indy Cars race was far more compelling than that Bloody F1 Shanghai Snoozefest!

, While I must say I was quite exuberant over Taku-San', nee Takuma Sato putting a Beatdown upon the entire IndyCar field at Thee Bootyful' Barbers!

And Obviously Charles leclerc, or as F1 Grizzled Journo' Joe Sawards says they've taken to calling "chuck LuhCluck;" since the Monegasque is now pronouncing the silent C on the end of his name; But I Digress...

Monsieur Leclerc was simply the revelation of the Bahrain Grand Prix, and hopefully will continue serving notice of his impending arrival at the front of the Formula 1 Grid!

As I think it'll be quite Delectable if the junior No. 2 Ferrari Pilote' usurps 'lil Sid viddle', aka Sebastian Vettel, who I could only say was Toast after his lamentable performance in the Bahraini Kingdom.

Not to mention that Farcical Cluck-Up at Shanghai, or as the Ken Follett CD Audio book I'm currently listening to reminded Mwah of that 'Ol Acronym
SNAFU, or Situation Normal, All Fucked Up! Which seemingly applies to la Scuderia right now.

As NO! Sebastian is NOT Faster than Leclerc!

 And did I really do thoust Unthinkable and get up not once, but two mornings in-a-row to watch; Err listen to Kroftie' & Co. commenting from Azerbaijan! Whale', actually All three mornings, since I was hoping that Monsieur Leclerc would replicate Bahrain and be Victorious this time!

And did I mention how nice it was hearing Theodore, Not Lenny; Hya! Kravitz's voice during the Chinese Grand Prix Replay. And has rightfully returned to his usual Pitlane position for the remainder of the F1 season; HURRAH!


As Teddy's my Favourite Presenter, or is it Pundit? On those Disjointed Sky Sports F1 Linear Television Broadcasts, and hopefully he'll remain a fixture on the F1 TV Broadcasts for years to come...

As it's Funny wonderin' what I'll do on an "Off Weekend?" Although think I might be able to catch some FIA World Endurance Championship action in-between Azerbaijan-Barcelona-Indianapolis, Eh?

And that's without knowing what 'Der Heindenmeier, nee John Hindhaugh and the IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championship are up to?

 Whilst I'd better get KURR-RACKIN' on some more Zany stories before Mary Ellen & Co. return to Florence, and hopefully take me for a brief Walkabout' upon the Sand Dunes.

Since even though I'm forgoing this year's Indy 500, I do plan on watchin' NBC's first live telecast, but will Definitely Skip the Pre-race, as it'll be hard enough listening to Queen Danica during the race, along with 'lil Ironhead! As we'll see how long I can run the String out this year before missing my first Open Wheeler' motor race. As I'm hoping to go Campin' sometime this Summer with Mary Ellen & Pixie...

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