Monday, May 20, 2019

INDY 500: DRAGONSLAYERS!



Guaranteed Fat Catz' Starting Grid spots or Guaranteed Gut Wrenching Drama... What's it gonna be Hulman & Co?

Funny how I found Thyself almost going ADHD with Thy Telie' turned onto Thee Peacock', nee NBC in the Living Room, Zed Internetz' tuned-into 1070 The Fan in thou Office playing in the background whilst "My Gal" Lucy', my ARSE-Steamed Screen Reader read me two Live Blogs from Mother Speedway I kept refreshing constantly!

All-the-while marching back 'n forth from room to room for Four and One-half Hours. Trying insanely to discover the most current, up to thoust moment information on whether or not Thee Weather, nee Mother Nature was gonna cooperate 'N let us have our Bump Day, Uhm LCQ'; Err Last Row Shootout and Top-9 Pole Shootout commence Sunday?

And although I'm happy for "Symone," nee Pageantry', aka Simon Pagenaud capturing the Biggest IndyCar Pole of his career... Pagenaud's accomplishment totally Paled in Comparison to Juncos Racing and Kyle Kiser's epic Slaying of McLaren Racing and the Oh, So smooth Operator Fredrico Suave', aka Fred Alonso!

As I had four sets 'o fingers crossed, chanting Kyle-Kyle-Kyle! Before the 23yr old Californian even began his warm-up lap, as I simply did Not wish to see Fernando Alonso make his way into Thee Show!

Even more so after the Talkin' Headz' NBC Sports Network Booth Boyz reported that McLaren had received a Set-up Sheet from Team Penske and acquired a Dampers' package, what us Yanks' call Shocks from Andretti Applied Technology.

As this totally became a clear case of the Upper Crust, Pardon Mwah Gray Poupon Chauffer's, Butler's and Nannies Elitists vs. the tiny One Man David 'O Juncos Racing...

Which for Mwah, and hopefully more important thou Powers to Be, aka Starship HC', nee Hulman & Company. Do you really wish to lose this intangible commodity, the buzz of the unexpected Upset at 16th & Georgetown just so the Fat Catz' can keep Thar Gentlemen's club intact?

Or are Yuhs gonna stick to the time Honoured 110-years tradition of the Fastest 33 Cars Start the Race instead?

Which is Game Over for Me! Especially if you have the might & resources of a McLaren and are Beaten Fairly by a Minnow who's built a Better Mousetrap, Uhm, Out-engineered and Out-performed Yuhs, then they Deserve to be in the Race! Especially when You make five qualifying attempts in one day vs. their limited attempts.

As Congratulations to Ricardo Juncos, Kyle Kiser and Everybody else at Juncos Racing who made me euphorically SCREAM Exaltations at thou TV Screen for making the Indianapolis 500! You totally Deserve it!

As I totally LUV' the quote in Marshall Pruett's Racer.com story 'bout how Ricardo Juncos sent everybody home after working 42 Hours Straight to get some Sleep, since he knew they were gonna start making Mistakes.

along with reporting how DragonSpeed needed to hire new personnel after experiencing Visa issues, and Hired Veteran Engineer John dick, who I recall previously worked with Buddy Lazier. As Don't forget DragonSpeed's, and Clauson-Marshall Racing's impressive Feats of Qualifying for Thee GURR-Reatest' Race whilst McLaren goes Home...

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