Tuesday, May 14, 2019

INDY 500: Alonso First I Take Indianapolis, then Dakar?

Fernando Alonso's Andretti Autosport No. 29 racecar in the Pits before start of Carb Day, 2017. (The Tomaso Collection)
Now after I win the Triple Crown; Hmm, isn't that a Horse race? Ah, I'll go win Le Mans again and then Dakar and Pikes Peak and the Chili bowl and...

My original title was Alonso Chasing Mythical Bucket list, but suddenly the thought of the Oh, So "Smooth Operator" Fredrico suave, aka Fred Alonso made me think of an 'Ol Leonard Cohen song instead...

Ah, another of Thy endless stories on thou Isle 'O Nofendersville that's Ah-Waitin' planting; err Scribblin', Hence languishing Ah-Amongst Thee Driftwood, r' Mateys!

Having originally pondered some seven years ago now; Hmm? What's that 'bout seven year Itches? My Mind was Ah-Wonderin' just how many Gran Primo Pilotes' who've won Formula 1 world championships were also victorious at Mother Speedway?

With  this No Fenders story's topic percolating back to mind when listening to the rain delay for Saturday's May 20th (2017) qualifying session of the 101st running of the Indianapolis 500, when D-Squared, aka Donald Davidson teased us  by pronouncing that a total of twelve former and future Formula 1 world champions had now contested the Indy 500.

As it's a long, long time ago when I had the pleasure of meeting Messer Davidson at Mother Speedway...

Formula 1 World Champions - Indy 500 Competitors
Jack Brabham, Graham Hill, Jimmy Clark, Dennis Hulme, Jackie Stewart, Jochen Rindt, Emerson Fittipaldi, Mario Andretti, Nelson Piquet, Nigel Mansell, Jacques Villeneuve and Fernando Alonso.

Alas, with thy pinnacle 'O motorsports, nee Formula 1 being Europe's single seater benchmark, the lure, and more likely the prize money drew the Attenzione of the leading Gran Primo Pilotes' of the 1960's who flocked to the Speedway in droves during what was loosely coined the "British Invasion."

Amazingly, only five of these twelve F1 Champions have won the Indianapolis 500, albeit both Mario Andretti and Jacques Villeneuve claimed the prestigious Borg Warner trophy first, before becoming Formula 1 World Champions.

Although I'm positive Thee Wee Scot' or Sir Jackie, JYS, nee Jackie Stewart raced at the Brickyard before claiming his first F1 World Championship in 1969. And Ditto for Jochen Rindt, whilst I simply Don't feel like querying each of these Drivers to Discern when their first Indy 500 was. Especially since I can NO longer navigate Indianapolis Motor Speedway's P.O.S Non Screen Reader Friendly website; But I Digress...

As it may be Thee Greatest Spectale', but it's also The World's Worst Website!

Thus I'll just go with the figure of just a Skosh under 42% is the rate of F1 World Champions Drinking Milk, or E-GADS! Orange Juice in Victory Lane...

Hence the point of this Warbling No Fenders tome, for which is it just Mwah? Or has Fred Alonso wisely Cooled his Jets 'bout Crowing over his attempt at the Mythical Triple Crown?

And what makes a racing driver truly legendous? Since Mika-the-Finn' (Hakkinen) has exactly the same number of F1 World Championships as Alonso, but I'd say I almost never hear a Peep mentioned about him.

And can we even possibly compare the accomplishments of Graham Hill v Fernando Alonso? Since Hill completed this mythical Triple Crown upon winning the 1972 24 Heurs du Mans sensationally for Matra, giving the French auto manufacturer a very popular 1-2 finish on Home Soil vs. true Competizione from rivals Alfa Romeo and Lola.

Whilst Alonso won for Toyota as a Rookie in what effectively was a Two Horse Intra-squad Scrum of the only two "Works" Hybrid machinery on the grid, Ditto for this year's fast approaching Le Mans.

Does Fernando deserve to be in the conversation of multiple Monaco Grand Prix winners, for which Hill's five victories between 1963-69 is only surpassed by the late, great Ayrton Senna's six. Not to mention the likes of Michael Schumacher's tally of five W's, Alain Prost's four wins or Jackie Stewart's three victories on the Streets of the Principality.

Not to mention Sir Stirling Moss has 3 W's and Bloody Hell! Even Thee Great Nico Rosberg has one more victory in Monte Carlo than Fernando does. (3) who's won twice in 2006-07.

Whilst the list of Two Times Monaco GP victors somewhat reads like a Who's Who, with the likes of el Maestro', aka Juan Manuel Fangio, Maurice Trintignant, Niki Lauda, Jody Scheckter, Mark Webber, Lewis Hamilton, Sebastian Vettel and Uhm, David Coulthard.

But I'm not saying that Fernando's not a great driver, it's that I just Don't think he warrants All the Attenzione, much of which I believe is Self-promoted towards tying somebody else's record, which I suppose the Spaniard could spin into other ingenious Feats...

As I'll go out upon a very Stout limb and predict that Alonso in the "Start-up" McLaren Racing IndyCar entity won't be victorious at Mother Speedway this May, and Hell, their main Technical Alliance "Partner" Carlin could be Hard pressed to Qualify all three of its entries! Although Charlie Kimball should be an invaluable source this May.

As will Fernando return in 2020 should be the more pressing Questione, now that it's been announced he won't return to Toyota's WEC concern following the conclusion of Le Mans. Having been replaced by ex-Scuderia Toro Rosso F1 Pilote Brendon Hartley for Toyota's 2019-20 World Endurance Championship (WEC) Tilt. And most likely is setting his sights upon contesting next year's Dakar Rally, and who knows what else, since Fernando just loves seeing his name in the media...

(Photo c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS')