Sunday, May 12, 2019

F1: Is Vettel Cactus?

Or should I have used the proper Yank terminology of Toast? Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, Fa-la-lah lah...

First Off, Happy Mmums' Day to All the Mother's Out Thar... As I'm posting this today, since I haven't decided if I'm getting up at OH-DARK 30' for another Bloody Formula 1 race, which possibly will be Barcelona's last?

Since when I think of the Spanish GP on Mother's Day, I always instantly recall watchin' the race with Thy Awntie' Harriet saying Oh? "We've Been There" upon telling her it's in Barcelona, Barcelona Spain?

While fortunately, ESPN's feeling "Charitable" and bestowing us with one of its scant Encore Presentations this Sunday evening, which I'll watch instead...

So a Funny thing occurred during the Azerbaijan Grand Prix weekend a Fortnight ago for Mwah, especially since I'm still Honouring my selection of Valtteri Bottas as my current Numero Uno Formula 1 Pilote', whom I selected five years ago after 'lil Sid Viddle had totally enraged Mwah! Hence, you'd think I'd have been ecstatic over his Dominant victory, Righto?

But instead, I found Thyself Rootin' All race long that Monsieur "Luhcluck," aka Charles Leclerc would somehow Pull a Wabbit' outta his rosso Firesuit and magically win the Grands Prix instead! Which we All know didn't occur for multiple reasons, including once again, Ferrari getting the Strategy wrong!

As I find Vettel's comments Hilarious, since is it just Mwah? Or does Sebastian always have a ready-made excuse for why he's gotten Beaten once again? As I believe it's now over eight months since his last victory at Thee Mighty Spa', nee Spa Francorchamps, Ja-Ja?

As my Angst towards the once mighty German began in earnest with his ridiculous Multi 21X Shenanigans at Red Bull, before his Disgusting Behaviour towards the late Charlie Whiting, Nerfing "golden Child," nee Lewis Hamilton, ironically also at Azerbaijan in 2017. And his general Air of Superiority and that everybody should pay Deference to him, be it on or off the racing Ash-fault'.

Hence I find Thyself cheering more 'N more each Bloody Grands Prix weekend for Thee Upstart Monegasque to Kick Vettel's Heiny! Even if I only know the scantest details regarding Monsieur Leclerc.

Yet that being said, a la above, I found I had ZERO Elations over Bottas superb W', especially since I Don't wish for Golden child to Beat Herr Schumacher's career tally of F1 Wins...

Witch I suppose my languid response towards Valtteri is due in some small part of my wanting to know when the other Shoe' will Drop? And that Pompous Arse Toto Wolff orders Valtteri to let Lewis thru? Or the fact that Bottas simply doesn't seem to have the ability to Beat Hamilton over a season to a title.

Alas, I simply find LuhCluck' Electrifying at the moment, especially since he seems to already have Vettel's number, whilst la Scuderia keeps ordering him to let Seb' Play Thru, which means Ferrari will not win a Championship this year. And their strategy of putting All Thar Eggs behind Sebastian are an unwise move!

As Ferrari surely must be wondering why they're paying Vettel a King's Ransom, whilst the German's laughing All the way to the Bank; Ja Volt!

Thus Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ELLEN was asking me when's the last time France had a really good Formula 1 Driver? i.e.; race winner Wee-Wee?

As my mind race into the Wayback Machine, apparently too far, since the names Didier Pironi and Rene Arnoux immediately sprang to mind, along with the likes of Francois Cevert and Jacques Laffite, with all four being Grands Prix winners.

Thinking a little harder, I immediately muttered that le Professor', Alain Prost is France's last Formula 1 World Champion, claiming his fourth and final title in 1993. Before Bosom Buddy Ayrton Senna coerce him into retirement after joining Team Willy for '94.

Whilst I'd momentarily overlooked Jean Alesi, when trying to recall Thee Prancing Horse's last Frenchman, who won his one and only Grand Prix appropriately at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in '95. Before I believe, the last "Frenchie" to win a Formula 1 race was Olivier Panis in thou Principality, on Thee Streets of Monte Carlo when unexpectedly winning the 1996 Monaco Grand Prix.

Which Karmically brings us Full Circle back to Monsieur Leclerc, who's a very talented racer, having most notably won the GP3 and FIA F2 Championships back-to-back during his Rookie seasons en route to Formula 1.

as I now seriously toy with the idea of making him my newest Numero Uno F1Pilote', who Ferrari would be Stupid to Squander the opportunity of backing him for a Title run soon!

As I'd say my ah Ha momento regarding the talented Monsieur Leclerc came during last year's Mexican GP, when he told the team I'll go again, after the team told him to Box-Box-Box! When he didn't appear to be headed for the Top-10 Q3' Qualie session. and then one lap later was P7, SHUHZAMM!!

(Valtteri Bottas image source: