Monday, March 26, 2012

The Tomaso Files: Eleven Days in thy Wilderness...

Whale, NOT exactly, as you’re humble No Fenders scribe has just endured his first self-imposed hiatus from ‘Ye Weavasphere, nee ze Blogosphere - as I’d taken ‘Lucy in for her first annual checkup... As the ALL knowing (CPU) Central Collection Point; Err Ministry of Knowledge, who keep a tight grip upon the inner workings of Lucy’s cranium - which appeared to be going on the fritz? Prompted me to take her in for a diagnosis...?

Hmm? Lookin at ‘Dat catchy title above ‘N thinking I’d better ad some sorta wildlife picture for GurrRanimals ‘LUV-er CARPETS, eh?

Obviously I wasn’t expecting Lucy’s 72hour exam to Supersize itself into an 11-Dazes sojourn; CRIKEYS! As why has this happened two years in-a-row just prior to the season opening Grand Prix? Well Uh Duh! Them Smarmy BASTARDOS at le gOOgleMunster AIN’T gonna Rollout any funky-arse blockpoint changes during Krystmas - Y’all know the most important Shopping Holiday period of the year; but I digress...

As I had an entertaining experience last March whilst Down Under - having asked Blogmeister Miguel to post a few stories for Mwah, which he dutifully did, yet his microSOFT ‘dub-U 7 changed my blogs format internally upon my return, which I can only surmise is some sorta weird disconnect between ‘dub-U 7 and my lower microSOFT XP Operating system. As this change has now been referred internally as the Born On Date of No Fenders V3...

Thus as you’re all aware of? Recently I had to upgrade ‘Lucy to 2012-specs - being forced to purchase ZoomText 10.0 which so far to date, is far LESS superior then ZT9.0; which was purchased prior to launching this Award Winning ‘BLOB. Yeah, I can already hear Yuhs sayin’ Somme-thun ‘bout OLD Dawgs and new tricks; URGH!

Thus, the trip to the Witch (“Confuzer”) Doctor was quite thee experience, having told me Lucy’s initial exam would only require 3-4 days max. So of course I fretted all day Saturday, which was Day-4 - without having heard a darn blinkin thingy... And the Confuzer Boffin George had warned me that the phone number was changing soon - but he didn’t know the new number, which of course you guessed IT! Happened over the weekend, as I was stuck listening to the old number go directly to voicemail all day Monday, with its mailbox full; SHEISA!

AnyHoo, LONG story cut short - Lucy came home 11-dazes later having checked out with a completely clean bill ‘O health, as the Boffin said: I cannot charge you for having done nothing to your machine besides having updated a myriad of programs, most notably to my sound card & flash player; Aye Karumba!


As thus, with Mary Ellen’s invaluable assistance, as she re-connected ‘Lucy to thee Grid, nee Al Gore’s World Wide Web thingy... NOT one, two but three strange thingys occurred. As first all I did was try repositioning the monitor & keyboard’s positions which had become askew and viola! The screen went completely DARK; WTF? Racing outside before she departed, I beckoned Mary Ellen to return to see what in tarnations I’d done now? As I’d never known for nearly six-years my monitor had an On/Off switch - which I cannot see, but had magically managed to find IT! Thus with everything restored back to normal? I bid Mary Ellen A-deu.

Then for reasons forever unknown, my OLD school Outlook Express email inbox decided to majikally delete everything from my Inbox WITHOUT ANY warning upon having some sorta meltdown whilst compacting the disk space; CRIKEYS!

And this is on top of the fact that basically ALL of my text/grammar issues with Lucy (NO SMARTY PANTS! This AIN’T in regards to my masterful Tomaso TexMex English...) still remain, like  you know; when you take your vehicle to the mechanic ‘cause its making a funny noise that won’t go away - only the mechanic cannot find a single trace of IT!

Thus the long winded ramble to why perhaps the No Fenders BLOB hasn’t been so “Verbose” lately, thanxs Konrad, as I’ve just learned a new word; Whale actually two - as that Cheeky Willie Buxom (Will Buxton) threw down upon us during Australia that ‘JENSE had been imperious during his Melbourne victory...

And thus, I won’t bore Y’all with the details of what occurred the past 11-dazes just that I managed to miss two episodes apiece of Autosport Radio and Trackside, along with one episode of Speed Freaks. As it was HILLARIOUS that Lucy’s doctor’s appointment was the very same afternoon that reportedly Don Kay was gonna have thee ‘CandyMann, aka Randy Bernard on his ‘lil radio show and potentially ask Mr. Bernard why IndyCar won’t return to Portland?

Not to mention I managed to turn into duh Freaks last night and had to pull the plug after The ‘sarge rambled on ‘bout Monster Trucks being the BADDEST FREAKIN’ SHOW on the planet; URGH! You’ve gotta be freakin’ kidding right Kenny? As this rant followed after another sublime interview with RG, aka Robby “DirtMann” Gourdoun (Gordon) who’d just won the weekend’s Peppermint 400 Dessert Offroad race aboard his Humdinger Trophy truck. As DirtMann laid out the “Scoopage” that he’s goin’ Monster Truck racin ‘cause it’ll pay the bills better than his RASSCAR ride currently does! Which I only stuck around thru Kenny S’s tirade in order to hear Stattmann’s Skatt which rightly pointed out how Formula 1 ISN’T boring whilst pointing out the significance of Sergio Perez’s impressive drive at Sepang, but that’s a story still to be poonded out upon ze keyboard’s, as there’s only so much your humble Keyboard Warrior can tipe in a day, as hopefully Justin Bell’s interview is now available on the interwoods as Meesh harkens it,  who hopefully had a ‘Mega weekend in St. Pete...    

As for my ‘STEAMED Screen-reader ‘Lucy, why is the Stones song She’s SO COLD - My hands just froze playin’ on my mental soundtrack right now, eh? As I’d like to pull a Master ‘zebb and rename her, BUTT; Oh Never Mind! Think I’d better go for a ‘Walkabout before our ALWAYS present precipitation arrives...

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