Friday, March 30, 2012

Under the Open Wheel Bigtop

As Indiana Bureau Chief Daniel Baines Cooper was quick to point out to Mwah last Sunday that during those Kodak postcard moment backdrop shots that the networks use to show off a particular cities landscape when going into or coming back from commercial breaks, (please Mr. Director - can we have another?) ‘Juan particular shot showed a Ferris wheel in the background of the street courses facilities, which inevitably leaves room for all sorts of comments, eh? As in was the racing so exciting that the promoters felt the need for distraction? Although I personally have nothin’ against Ferris wheels, albeit I’m not sure if I’d wanna ride either the Singapore Flyer or the London Eye upon the riverbank of thee Thames; but if this is what it takes to keep the ‘Kiddies entertained, then perhaps they’re not focusing upon the racing cars?

And I won’t try recapping the past weekend’s races - which I’ve been dually Harangued over my lack of race reports - having even gone so far as to post a picture of a Monster Truck; YIKES! Nor will I critique the TV coverage, albeit I found it most sublime - letting my mind wunder mightily as the race seemed little more then a procession - along with Marty “Muskrat Luv” Reid still managing to work his sweetheart Danica’s name into the broadcast, albeit was it just Mwah or? I don’t recall seeing a single When Yuhs PEAK! Yuhs win Danicker commercial on; Hya!

And as we all know, Thy Dancin’ Fool ‘HULIO, aka Helio Castroneves won the race, which was surely a relief for him, since I’d previously noted how I thought ‘Ol Twinkle toes was definitely TOAST in;

As Shane Rogers from Down Under got the following statistics read upon last week’s Trackside with Kevin & Cavin - as the resident from Oz dually noted how the “Toowoomba Toranadoe,” nee Will Power has simply spanked Captain Twinkle toes and fellow teammate Ryan “the Izod Dude” Briscoe - not to mention everybody else when it came to pulling out Bonsai Qualifying laps, as DJ WillyP is set to garner his 25th Pole position in roughly HALF the time it took for a one Mr. Castroneves to accomplish!

Indycar Stat: Number of starts at 25th pole position start

And I wouldn’t expect the Indy Car Boyz & Girls to play as nicely this weekend in Ala-bammie... As I’m guessing they all wanted to make it thru the first race back from Las Vegas, ironically at Dan Wheldon’s Hometrack cleanly! Although as “Symone Pagenoe” (Simon Pagenaud) pointed out on Autosport Radio, the Hondas and ‘Chebbies are so closely matched, with the Lotuses a little bit down-on-power, and the fact that they currently do not have the vaunted P2P (Push-to-Pass) capability at the moment, that its gonna be downright hard to simply blast past one another - while Barber Motorsports Park was designed for ‘Scooters, nee Motorcycles and hence is a very difficult track to pass upon...

But that’s NOT to say that passing doesn’t occur, as I was disappointed that very little was mentioned ‘bout Symone carving his way back up to his original starting spot after having been penalized 10 grid spots for a precautionary engine change. As Pagenaud said he was hoping the same would be handed out to ‘Symona-Symona (de Silvestro) for this weekend’s event, although I have no info upon this...

Januaryy 2012 Indianapolis Walgreens Store Opening
(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

And having been chastised for the blue & white sponsorless flanks of Joseph Newgarden’s car - having said that Sarah fisher Hartman Racing was trying to woo Walgreens as a potential sponsor - another eagle-eyed IndyCar observer called into Wind Tunnel Sunday evening to say how Newgarden & SFHR deserved to have a sponsor after his impressive 11th place finish on his B-I-G Car debut, which I wholeheartedly agree with, although hopefully it’ll be something a little more palatable; Err substantial then what I’m told is FAST EDDIE’s latest sponsor - Drumroll please... Tuh Duh! HooiserMama, albeit I haven’t seen the Press Release yet, so hopefully I’m not biting on somme-thun here? FISH ON!!!

Although if true, how many jokes do you think this will spawn? As I already know two jokes ‘bout Indiana; Oh Never Mind!

Although I did tell ‘Ol DB that I simply thought Sarah Fisher and Wink Hartman were not running a green hue this weekend ‘cause they didn’t want to upstage Ye Mayor ‘O Hinchtown’s Who’s Your Daddy debut; Hya! Hmm?  Perhaps it has ‘Somme-thun to do with not wanting to clash with HVM’s Loti green? Although that shade glows in the dark!

Whilst perhaps it was just Mwah; BUTT! Did Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson get any Facetime during the race? Other then being mentioned mired down in 18th, with NO explanation, as I hope that he’s not gonna suffer all season long for having decided to go with a Minnowesqe team, eh? As the only camera time I think Dale Coyne Racing received was for James Jakes testing out the new front wing’s strength upon the tyre barrier...

And unfortunately - I’m guessing the Rookie Of the Year title fight will be a two pony affair, with Pagenaud going blow-for-blow with Newgarden, as Thy Leggy Juan, nee Katherine Legge is fighting an uphill battle this year, having not driven a single seater in four-plus years, nothing last year and a single half-day plus testing before jumping into the recalcitrant Lotus-by-Judd Dragonmobile Sunday... But hey, wasn’t le ‘Hamburgular, aka Sebastain Bourdais running P2-3 at one point in the race? Which will make it kinda funny if Jay Penske & the Dragonflies outperform the “Pseudo-Works” team; Yuh’s know Lotus DRR - formerly Dreyer & Reinbold Racing, right?

Thus, you’d haveda expect the Usual Suspects to gravitate towards the sharp end of the grid this weekend at Alabama; Y’all know, names like Power, Dixon, Franchitti, Castroneves, Kanaan and Briscoe. Although I’d look out for others such as Pagenaud, Wilson, Hinchcliffe & Conway - as after all this is the opening “Twisty” portion of the season, while it appears that Chevrolet may have the upper hand driver-wise, with thy ‘Cheepster’s 4-car Monty taking on the might of Penske, Andretti and KVRT - as I’m somewhat more ‘Stoked that I’ll get to witness ‘rubino’s debutant Ovaltrack race somewhere in May over the fact that the IndyCar season has finally begun, albeit I’m ‘Jazzed over Pagenaud, Newgarden and Barrichello all being in the mix...