Monday, February 20, 2012

No Fenders Skate on thee State of the State of ‘IndyCarz...

So I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d tried, having been on ‘Holiday once again, this time in thee Valley ‘O the Sun, partaking in some R&R with thee FamDAMNil-lee... And hence I magically MISSED this year’s riveting State of the IndyCar Nation speech; HURRAH!

Thus I suppose I shouldn’t say much towards Mr. CandyMann’s feverish pitch he apparently laid on upon ‘Ye Faithful flock ‘O IndyCar devotees... ‘Uze know, those still remaining from the 15-20 MILLION LOST during that ‘lil thingy known as The Split!

Yet there’s ‘Juan thing that’s been sticking in my craw lately, that being Mr. Bernard’s pointed remarks towards us here in bloggerLand, when Randy recently told us to STOP being so NEGATIVE towards IndyCar and the general state of Open Wheel Racing; WTF? As my Pop’s has just reminded me of having a problema towards “Athortive” figures, especially including Bosses; YIKES! And thus Y’all may see my dilemma - especially since I DON’T like somebody telling me what to do; ‘nor how or what to poond aways upons my trusty keyboard for my ‘lil racing ‘BLOB thingy... Can you hear me now Mr. Bernard? As I find this almost as insulting as John Barnes ridiculous taunts towards us 40 ‘Somme-thuns with Cornfuzers, which I prattled on ‘bout in;


Now I have nothing against Mr. CandyMann, especially having lived thru the majority of the Championship Auto Racing Teams era, the IRL, albeit a firm & loyal devotee of CART and then Champ Car, with such dubious leaders as John Frasco, John Caponigro, who were both, removed in 1989. John Capels, William Stokkan - previously Playboy Enterprises head of Marketing & Licensing, followed by Andrew Craig who was also subsequently fired before interim leader “Booby Ruble,” aka Bobby Rahal watched CART ultimately flounder.

Then there were the Four Mouseketeers, nee Kevin “Smiley Face” Kalkoven, Gerald WWHAAAA!” Forsythe, Paul “Goofy” Gentilozzi and Dan Petitt, not to mention proposed CCWS savior Chris Pook, who managed to quickly burn thru Champ Cars $100 million “War Chest!” Whilst on the opposite side of the field we had such luminaries as ‘Ronnie (TG) George, BillyBob Brazenheartz (Brian Barnhart) Terry “Where’s duh Beef?” Angstadt and a host of others...

Thus ‘Juan can see that the Open wheel Racing leadership is littered with YES men who managed to run the sport into the ground and hence create a lasting air of negativity, which I believe is justly deserved and henceforth I’ll not shy away from continuing to throw out my two bits worth upon thee ‘Weave-uh-Sphere, got I-T Mr. Bernard? But I digress...

As I cannot say that I truly found anything massively riveting revealed during this Dog & Pony show, ‘cept Halleluiah! Princess Perma-pout wasn’t in the building for once; Hya! As it seems the biggest controversy’s surrounded the dumping of ‘LyndieCar by NBCSN along with the new & improved
Leader Card Circle
-program handout formulae... Hey Mr. Bernard, where’s my cheque? Hee-hee-hee...

As for Lindy Thackston’s dismissal from Pitlane reporting duties in favour of Townsend Bell, I cannot say too much ‘bout that - as I’m a Townsend Bell fan and unfortunately have always viewed female sideline reporters as well, uhm, you know... token appeasements to male and female TV viewers... Although I do have to agree it seems kinda twisted that the head Peacocks would be so contrite to dismiss a likeable female persona in a totally male dominated domain which could only have helped improved its sagging television ratings whilst new female racing drivers continue invading the Indy Car driver ranks; as I’ll leave it to that fine ‘KuhNaidiun lass Meesh to expound upon this. Although it seems to me that this gender divide won’t truly be broken until a woman ascends to the broadcast booth proper...


As for the new & improved racing Stewards, you haveda wonder if there’s some clause stating that at least one Unser must be present at all times? Although I have absolutely nothing against Johnny Unser’s announcement, as he was overly pleasant towards Mwah when taking the time to give me his John Hancock after the world’s largest autograph session was over last May, also having nabbed The Flying Dutchman’s signature there too; OOPS! Am I name dropping here? And I guess I should have known who Gary Barnard is, since I’ve just learned he was an ex-CART/CCWS Steward; yet I guess he did his job summarily as well as Wally Dallenbach, (Sr.) Tony Cotman and Chris Kneifel - since I don’t recollect Barnard’s name from the past.

Yet all I really wanna know is what’ll happen when the other ‘BB, nee Beaux Barfield tells Arie Luyendyk to instant message ‘Ol ‘SuperTex to inform him Mike Conway’s being penalized; Hmm? What does Yuhs think Barfield will do if A.J. attempts another punch-up with Luyendyk, eh?

As for the potential Standing Starts, all I can say is - been there, done that! As once again whilst IndyCar continues shirking the Pacific Northwest, having once again given Portland’s past traditional Father’s Day weekend date to Milwaukee, its kinda funny to think I witnessed the first ever IndyCar standing start five years ago at Portland International Raceway’s Champ Car event with the Panoz DP-01...


Thus, I’m really NOT sure what if any? Overly important news came out of Randy Bernard’s speech, as I won’t be suitably impressed with the Indy Car Series until it returns to Portland, has REAL multiple chassis suppliers, i.e.; Eagle, Lola, Penske, Reynard and Swift propelled by a quartet of engine manufacturers racing on a balanced schedule of Ovals, Permanent Road Courses and Temporary Street Circuits with truly the best International drivers competing, which sounds like a past racing series; Oh Never Mind!

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