Sunday, August 22, 2010

IMS internetz Blues!

Once again, it’s time for another No Fenders installment of try listening to an IMS Radio Network Broadcast via le internets... As it just continues to amaze the SHIT outta Mwah how in the world Indy Car ever expects to cultivate any sort of Tech-savvy Youth market if their Webcast is a veritable pieco du CRAPOID! As here’s another Blow-by-Blow recap of your STEAMED ‘Vurd Botcherer’s attempt to listen to the final Indy Lights Qualifying session from Sonoma, CA.

At 1; 28PM Seattle-time; NOT to be ‘Cornfuzed with New York/Indy Time, I logged onto my Bookmarked IMS IndyCar Radio Broadcast Webpage and was pleasantly surprised to ‘Hook-up on the first attempt, as some CHEEZY Commercial dribbled on before the program said welcome to the Edmonton Indy Race, I’m Mike King as he digressed thru the opening stages of the race, with Davey STUD! Hamilton chiming in on Lap 9 before they broke into duress over Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter running into trouble on Lap 10 before the Webcast went BLANK! OH FUCK! Here’ we go again... Time for the ‘ROPE-A-DOPE! As they DUMPED the program at 1:30PM; SHEISA! (4:30PM New York Time – I Believe...)

Hence, I began the now all too familiar ritual of logging off and retrying to connect to the broadcast via the Indy Nation and Home page... Before ‘bout the fourth try I got a connection that momentarily came-in around volume 43; trying to break BOTH my eardrums ‘N Confuzer speakers before it subsided to a barely audible noise with ‘Mega static, buzz in’ and humming on the line... As I listened to Mark “Gravelly” James thru the static pronounce there were 36 of the 45 minutes remaining... CRIKEYS! Yuhs means I’ve already MISSED the sessions first NINE minutes...

Yet deciding it was wiser(?) to suffer thru the Feedback vs. trying to gain a clearer signal for fear of losing the broadcast once again... Yet le internets decided for me as suddenly once again the Webcast was DROPPED! Oh FiddleStix!

Thus from 1:46 to 1:59PM I could NOT gain an internets connection to the Indy Lights ‘Qualie session as I started fuming as the F%%KING silly ARSE Indy Car Nation Webpage said You’re listening to the Firestone Indy Lights Qualifying session “LIVE” from the Grand Prix of Sonoma... NO I’m NOT YOOSE BLOODY GOOBERS!!! As it only took three Reboot’s, seven logon’s and a RIDICULOUS 13mins to regain connection to this riveting Webcast; URGH!

Hmm? 13minutes; as in the Lucky number thirteen which is perfect for!

And thus suddenly after 13mins of FRUSTRATION... Mark James voice was crispy clear before Jake Query went on a very long dissertation with ‘Plowie’s Mum Anita over the trials ‘N tribulations of son Martin Plowman’s racing career, as with six minutes remaining, ‘Plowie was stranded in the Pits with Electrical Gremlins... Hmm? Perhaps ‘Dem Lucas Lectrics had jumped the gap from to the No. 27 of ‘Plowies car, just sayin; Oh Never Mind! Before I finally got to learn the Driver’s relative Qualifying order with 3mins remaining... As J.K. Vernay secured his third Pole Position of the season...

Mark James:
“Join us at the bottom of the Hour...” (For Indy Car Qualifying)

‘Whale Obviously I’d really like to do so if your Uber P-O-S internets webcast will actually connect to the World Wibe Web thingy; Ja Volt!

As Sufferin’ Succotash! Carefully re-opening the IndyCar Nation Bookmark page and clicking upon the tiny Yes link at 2:28PM Seattle time; SHEISA! Mark James ‘N Mike “Yippee-Aye-Eh!” King were already blatherin’ away... Whilst a third unknown voice was adding his two cents worth – wunder Who’s Dat? As it’d take several minutes before Messer King said the name Arie and then further denoted it was Arie Luyendyk Jr. As WTF? I ‘gottsta listens to the WHOLE FRILLIN’ streamin’ Webcast; Aye Karumba! As apparently the Fog’s lifting allowed for the Broadcast signal to link-up correctly with ‘Juan ‘O ‘Dem Tin-can thingys high above Earth’s upper Atmosphere, eh? NO idea if it’ll work for the Indy Lights race Sunday?