Microsoft causes No Fenders Stoppage

Marko Andretti’s wrecked Dallara IndyCar on the “Hook” at Mother Speedway. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Why is that one of my favourite mental images whenever thinking about the wheels of progress? Or as the late, great Rhythm Professor Niel Pert once penned.

 

“You know how that rabbit feels, going under your speeding wheels

Bright images flashing by like a windshield towards a fly

Frozen in that fateful climb, but the wheels of time just pass you by”

 

Just a quick Jot’ as Grizzled, ‘Ol F1 Journo Joe Saward would say. As I miss His Green Notebook blog posts, as why does everything have to go the way of the Dinosaur and Dodo Birds, Eh?

 

Speaking ‘O Dinosaurs, apparently that’s what those blimey Overlords at Microsoft thought of my outdated Office 2016 programme I’ve been faithfully using for the past six years to curn out copious amounts of No fenders blob’ verbiage…

 

Thus, I’m currently in the midst of upgrading to Office 2024, since one of the primary Hot Key features I rely upon as a Blind Vurd butcherer known as temporary place markers suddenly, without warning. Quit working Wayback’ in the middle ‘O Gory July.

 

Whilst I’ve been using a cumbersome “work-around”, but am guessing Microsoft’s decision will further impact me sometime soon Bastardoes!

 

Hopefully this upgrade won’t be terribly painful? And I can resume furiously pppndin’ away riveting No Fenders blog posts soon…

 

As I’ll leave Y’all with a few canned stories, while hopefully my Confuzer’s been returned and functioning 100% Tickity boo! Whilst learning whatever the IT boffins have changed in the New & Improved “wink-wink” Office 2024 version.

 

As what does Oilpressure’s Geo. Pillips say about Change?

 

Uhm, what’s that? Drugs are Bad, Ok?

 

Partial song lyrics from: Rush’s Between the Wheels; 1984 Grace Under Pressure Album. 

The Life of A Blind blogger

 

But does It really Matter what a Blindman Thinks, and Who Cares? Especially if He Cannot S-E-E the Computer Screen He’s trying to type his riveting Stories Upon…

As I was walking down the street one day” – SLAM! BASH! BANG! CRASH! Oh Never Mind at my witty repartee, Hya! Or my Not to that ‘Ol Chicago song Does It Really Matter What Time It Is?

The Tomaso Files: Hey Blind Man, Where do You think You're Going?

As I’ll try keeping this somewhat Short ‘N Sweet, Ha-Ha, Not! Especially since I’m still currently unable to post Blog Stories or run Speilchequor’, for which Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen chided me, You Never Speel things correctly anyways, so why Bother?

But if you’re a regular visitor to No Fenders, then you’ll definitely notice the lack of posts lately. As this is due to two main occurances. Whale’ may be three?

As Seriously? I went 15 Days in December without Any Freakin’ Email service ‘cause Spectrum kept making my Microsoft Outlook 2019 program Dump! Err, Crash, and I couldn’t Gory Send or Receive any Email unpil twice having my local Computer Tech Boffin’ Matt kindly restore my Outlook settings! Enabling me to send said material to Blogmeister’ Miguel for posting.

Since if you’re Blind, then you probably cannot SEE the Bloody Drop Down Menus, et Al necessary to reset your Account Settings Jackarses!

Being Blind, I thought whenever we improved technology it was to actually benefit us, and not be just for Changes Sake, Righto?

Yet I’ve been Shanghaied first by Blooger’, nee Google’s new P.O.S. Blogger platform interface, which I still cannot currently access, Sigh!

This is due in part to my new Zoomtext 2020 Screen Reader not wishing to cooperate, and for whatever technical reason, It won’t even let me enter the site, since it new screen reading voice “Zoey the Princess Warrior” sez’ End of document, Bullshit Sister!

Meanwhile, or as Ye Late Show’s Steven Cobert says: “Quarantine-while, Hya! Microsoft’s managed to apparently bring thou Curse ‘O Planned obsolescence to my Home, since I was Painfully informed that my wonderful 19-inch Square High Definition monitor wouldn’t work with winDOUGHS 10, ‘cause it wasn’t the new Wide-track’ Aspect Ratio, forcing me to upgrade to a new 24-inch rectangular Bitchin’ monitor as Randal, Thy No Fenders Moniker King would say. As Thars’ certainly been a whole lotta Bitchin’ here lately, but I digress…

Thus if you’re Blind like I am, and you’re slowly losing your peripheral vision, then Wider is Definitely Not Better! As having everythingy’ Stu-retched Out makes it infinitly Harder to See or Find upon the Screen! Not to mention Gory Difficult to “S-E-E” where the cursor is, or to find it in relationship to the word/letter you’re trying to highlight in order to change or manipulate…

And that’s before we even get into the colour changes, the text appearing “lighter” on-screen and a myriad of other issues, as “So it Goes!”

As I’m now literally Grasping at Straws! And haven’t been able to Blog since the beginning of August when some JackAlopes at Google thought they needed to Swoosh up their Blogger platform for NO reason!

Then waiting a further month’s time to get my new 24” monitor & Sound-bar plus a new printer delivered & installed, which I originally couldn’t get said printer to work, before Matt switched it over to Wireless…

Although the printing issue was partially due to Microsoft Updating Windows and reverting everybody’s Printer settings back to Default, URGH!

Since if you’re Blind, then you most likely CANNOT S-E-E’ the Drop-down Menu “Strip” where your printer settings are Hidden Jackalopes! Oh wait a My-Nute’, did I already say that?

All the while I’ve been Ah-Waitin’ patiently since October 29^th for the Oregon Commission for The Blind (OCB) to actually Help me Solve the Host ‘O Technical Issues still unresolved to no Avail!

As I’d like to Arse-sume this ridiculously elongated waiting period is due to the current Budget Strain upon Social Services since every State and Cities are struggling with their budgets due to the COVID 19 Lockdown this past Spring. Since what’s the first thing trimmed from Government Budgets in a Catastrophe? Uhm, I’ll give Yuhs a Hint. It AIN’T the Military or Law Enforcement, Oh Never Mind!

As first we couldn’t schedule any In-Home visits due to Oregon’s two week Corona Virus “Freeze” between November 18th-December 2^nd. And we’re still in a holding pattern due to Lane County being in the Extreme COVID 19 Category.

Then a few weeks later, I was finally informed that the Portland OCB Office couldn’t do any Remote Login sessions with me due to their Budget having been Cut by Oregon’s governor Kate Brown, which is part of the aforementioned Budget Deficit caused by the original Lock Down in March…

As why are Social Programs always affected Hardest? And how is a Blind person supposed to life independently if Thars’ NO Social “Safety Net,” Err Services to Help ‘em?

And then for the Cherry On Top of this Clusterfuck ‘O Technical issues, for reasons unknown, somebody at Spectrum, my Internet Service Provider simply turned Off my Email’s Send/Receive function W/O Any Warning! Claiming that my Password wasn’t “Strong” enough, but Seriously? You just turned it off without even Gory warning me? Leading to my not being able to send these riveting No Fenders Post to Blogmeister’ Miguel for uploading onto Ye Blog for over another week’s time, SHEISA!

Alas, All of these Never Ending IT issues which I cannot S-E-E which teeny weeny boxes to check or circles to fill in the Dots! Obviously has made my desire to attempt scribblin’ anything of substance for the No Fenders Blog that’s been effevtively Neutered at the very least by NO Fault ofMy Own, as Y’all know how Dan-Dan-Danicker’ once famously Quipped It’s Not My Fault! Has caused me to completely lose interest in writing anything, which naturally frustrates me greatly, since I thought technology was supposed to help us ‘N improve our daily lifes? And I Fail to understand why I’m forced to have to re-invent myself to technologies, nee IT Confuzer Boffinss’ Whims, Oh Never Mind!

As Thank You for your continued patience. Since I’m 86% certain it won’t be until the New Year that I might be able to post my very first Blog story Solo?

Uhm, now I’m hoping it’ll be before the 2021 IndyCar season begins, since I’m still on Hold…

Tomaso

No Fenders remains Stuck in Limbo...

Although Surely, Hey Don't Call me Shirley, Hya! No Airplane Jokes Here! Y'all Haven't been Holding Your Collective Breaths, Righto?

Or turnin' Bleu', or is it Purple? Like those loveable but forgotten Smurfs, Eh? As Hello once again my loyal, remaining No Fenders readers...

For those who care, I'm Still Stuck in 1st gear, or is it Reverse? Since my winDOUGHS 10' Confuzers' been back to Ye Computer Shop again for a Gory Third time, and now all I need is a new winDOUGHS 10 compatible Monitor, Printer and presumably switching over to Zoomtext Fusion 2020, albeit I've never successfully mastered the plain 'Ol Zoomtext 2020 Screen reader Software which reputedly Don't work since I've fought against the Planned Obsolescence of buying a Bitchin' New Rectangular monitor as Randal', Thy Monitor King would croak; URGH!

And Yeah, I won't pull too many "Iceman" Puns upon Yuhs. Y'all Don't know who the Iceman Kuh-Kuh-Kuh-Choo' is? As I stole that witty repartee from a recent Mark Thee Iceman" Worman episode of Graveyard Carz from awhile ago now, which is one of the few TV Shows I currently watch weekly - whenever it Airs. Mostly in Deference to it coming outta my adopted Backyard, nee Springfield Oregon just 90mins away from Ye Coast, But I Digress...

AUTOS: A Few TV Car Show Rewinds

As Hopefully they haven't been ravaged by the Fires Engulfing Oregon! since I've got Zero Clue how close the Holiday Ranch Fire was to Springfield, but my 'lil Transistor Radio was Squawking multiple Emergency alerts towards being prepared to Evacuate for several Days!

Having already seranaded Y'all 'bout the ridiculously Idiotic travails of why I haven't been posting any riveting, Uhm ramblin' eclectic thoughts 'bout Der Vurld' de Motorsporten; Ja-Ja! Here upon No Fenders lately, with the exception of the few Blogmeister Miguel's been kind enough to post for Mwah before Dislocating his Shoulder; YOUCH!

As Thanks Microsoft, Zoomtext and Most of All, Google; NOT! For which the "New & Improved, Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge" Hideous Blogger Platform's interface I'd used for nearly 14yrs to post everythingys' now affectionately known here on Nofendersville simply as Blooger' since it's now a Piece 'O Shit!

Technology Rears its Ugly Head Again...

Or for an even more Scathing post upon Ye gOOgle Monster's STUPIDITY! Uhm, ergo Brashness of turning Blogger into another Rotting Corpse, Yikes! For which I'd really like to Shake the Head Clown in Charge's Hand; Err Slap Him/her on Thee Back for this Mega Clusterfuck!

Google's New Blogger Interface Does Not Work Properly

Although trusty Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen who's told me many Ah-Time 'bout how one day civilization will discover this unique Tex-Mex' Jumbaliah 'O Word Smithing I've used here upon Ye Isle 'O Nofendersville for over a Decade now as Tomasan' and simply wonder in Amazement what it means; Aye!

But on a somewhat more serious note, she asked why can't I simply do like Emily Dickinson did whilst awaiting solving my Myriad 'O Confuzer' nee Computer problems, Eh? Notably how winDOUGHS 10 and Zoomtext 2020 currently won't interface correctly on my machine with each other, before I can even "SEE" if it'll work on the new P.O.S. Graphically "Enhanced" Blooger blogging platform?

As I'd never heard of Emily dickinson before, which is somewhat strange since she's lauded as being America's Best ever Female Poet. And I was surprised to learn her story some Gory 134 years following her Death in Bloody 1886; Aye Karumba! Having Died at the Age of 55 on May 15, 1886.

Having never heard of Miss Dickinson before, Mary Ellen told me the story of how she prolifically wrote some 1,800 Poems unknown, which were only discovered by her younger sister after her Death and then subsequently published! Although somehow I Doubt this will occur for Mwah...

Emily Dickinson's I Felt A Funeral in My Brain

Alas, as the Time-Space Continuum merrily continues marching on uninterrupted, regardless of what's happening in our life's. Having just finished listening to my Debutante Tom Robbins tome Tibetan Peach Pie, his only work available in thoust preferred 'Ol School CD Audiobook format from ye local Library.

'Ol "Tommy Rotten's" Sardonic travails of his life ultimately as a successful Novelist made me proclaim that Writing my No Fenders Blog is a Privilege, not a Necessity, albeit I enjoy doing so as my Daily Ritual, which I suppose is why I'm so tied in Knots over Not being able to easily do so on Microsoft's latest creation, BARF!

And whilst Name Dropping, Messer Robbins notes his various encounters with the late Timothy Leary, claiming they became friends, which weirdly made me immediately Flash Back to a Great Old Groovy classic tune by The Moody blues.

VIDEO: Moody Blues - timothy Leary's Dead

Whilst Messer Robbins wraps up his latest novel by briefly mentioning the terms Manifestation vs. Imagination, which I suppose is totally Apropos in All walks of life along with the Serendipity of Coinciding nicely with Ye late Messer Leary, Righto?

As Robbins mention of Leary, plus his partaking in visiting Hate Ashbury in 1967 during the "Summer of Love," which he and his Girlfriend visited made me Flashback to Arse-sumedly Jefferson Airplane's GURR-REATEST' Song? Or at least my favourite, simply titled White Rabbit; Sing It Grace!

"One Pill Makes You Larger

One Pill Makes You Small

And the Ones Mother Gives You

Don't Do Anything at All

Just Ask Alice

When She's 10 Feet Tall

And if You go Chasing Rabbits..."

VIDEO: Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

Obviously Ye Indy 500's come 'N gone since my Blogging career was temporarily Derailed, for which I've got another riveting Two-part Harmony, Err 2 Part No Fenders tome Ah-Waitin' posting. But as previously mentioned above, I've got ZERO Clue when this will happen, as Thanks Blooger', Bastardoes!

And that was before All of the West Coast Caught on Fire during and following the traditional ending of Summer, i.e.; Labour Day weekend. For which I know California's in way worse Devastation, but Over 10% Oregonians have been Forced to be under Evacuation orders to Depart their Domiciles at Moments Notice; SHEISA!

Not to mention the Horrific Smokeyness we've been enduring for over a week's time when I was trying to finish this ramblin' tome.

As it looked like the consistency 'O Chocolaty Brown Milk whenever I went outside the first few days when Thar weren't No Sun!

Not to mention it took me three days to realize there weren't any Bird noises coming from my Pine trees...

Alas, enough of Ye Debbie Downer' talk I suppose, Eh? As Ye World of Sports has been transfixed by Football; Hut-Hut Omaha! Since Arse-sumedly All of Gory Americre' is now Foaming at the Mouth over some professional Pigskins being tossed about and Motor Racing takes it's proverbial Backseat, Righto?

Although I must confess I've somewhat enjoyed the Self Enforced Sabbatical from Blogging Blooger's provided Mwah, especially since it's the worst time 'O year for when I Cannot S-e-E the Gory Confuzer' Screen and what I'm working upon during Summer's transition to Fall.

But I do still plan to continue Blogging here at No Fenders one day soon in earnest again, when I'll be fully 100% Functional, which now is my Goal for 2021 when Hopefully we'll Ring in a Much Better Year!

As Thanks Y'all for your Continued Patience...

Tomaso

VIDEO: Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up

Partial Song lyrics from:

Jefferson Airplane

Song: White Rabbit

Album: Surrealistic Pillow

Year: 1967

 

No Fenders Still Stuck in Scrutineering

Damn, is he still Bangin' On 'bout not being able to S-E-E the Gory Confuzer Screen?

So I had Zero Idea if I'd be Up 'N Running on the New and Cough-Cough, BULLSHIT! winDOUGHS 10 Confuzer', as Randal, thy Moniker King 'O No Fenders calls 'em by now, when I originally Uploaded an earlier rendition 'O this riveting No Fenders Post whilst trying to buy myself some more time to suss Out why I cannot get a fully functioning PC up 'N running, as Zoomtext 2020 simply refuses to cooperate!

As Amazingly, I feel like I Haven't Passed Pre-Race Tech Inspection Yet; Aye Karumba!

Since by now, if you're still reading No Fenders, which I obviously appreciate... Then you're All Painfully Aware of my never ending Computer's Technical Issues. For which I've definitely been Battlin' my own Cement Mixer lumpy virtual racetrack trying to transition to thou won-won-wonderful world 'O winDOUGHS 10; SHIT! Silly Me, I thought Technology was supposed to improve things? Especially for those of us who are Blind or  Visually Impaired.

And I realize Thars a far more Serious Issue sweeping thou globe right now known as the Corona Virus or COVID 19 Pandemic Killing people Daily! So I'm obviously somewhat reluctant to prattle on 'bout my computing technical issues further overall. but am simply trying to bring to light the issues facing a mostly unseen and unheard of population, when the world's attempting to transition to an overly Online Intensive attitude towards life today.

As I fear nobody's speaking up or looking out for those of us with Disabilities at this most critical time. As seriously? Why does it take a lawsuit against one of  Americres' myriad 'O Corporations to insist that their menus are Screen Reader friendly? Which certainly Y'all have read 'bout in our "Fair & Balanced" Mainstream Media by now, El Correctomundo?

As I live in a world that trumpets my living independently as a Blind person, ergo I therefore rely Totally upon fully functioning Screen Reader technology, along with Software programmes that are easily navigable via said screen reader, for which after a month's time, I'm still stuck at Square One when trying to comply with Microsoft's mandate to upgrade to their Pain in Ye Keister winDOUGHS 10 Operating, Cough-Cough; Platform...

As I've grown so Disillusioned by this experience, not to mention the large monetary outlay for a really expensive Paper Weight currently sitting on my Desk! That I bemoaned to Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen that I partially feel like saying FUCK I-T! Regarding Blogging anymore. To which she quickly, and rightly pointed out that I enjoy writing my eclectic thoughts and what will I do if I stop?

Yet with the Oregon Governor's Order to Stay Home and Shelter as much as possible, regardless of what that Brilliant "visionary" 'O Grandeur in thoust White House believe will happen if we just stay positive, cross our fingers and say Thars No Place like Uhm? Then perhaps the Easter Bunny will bring us All Marshmallow Peeps, Chocolate Bunnies and Oodles 'N Oodles of Rainbows and Sunshine; Oh Never Mind!

Therefore, as I've previously mentioned, for the time being I've reverted back to my Trusty 'Ol Windows 7 machine.., and will No longer Bang On 'bout my Technical Issues or post Notes about my Posted Content to No Fenders being slightly outdated. Instead I'll just focus upon playin' Ketsup with what's been on my collective Radar and floating in the Surf and Bobbing about Ye Isle of Nofendersville lately, and like always just scribble 'bout what I feel like doing so instead.

Which although may not be current, my world after nearly 35yrs of intensely following Motorsports, primarily Open Wheel Racing, finds that there's almost always some racing connection to whatever I'm interested in, or like a recent Six Degrees 'O Kevin Bacon-itus', or should that be Bacon bitz'; Botta-Boom! On social Media, Groan! Thars typically some racing connection within easy reach, except when I take a break for Sanity's Sake...   

As I'll leave Yuhs with another melody relating to a topic I'll soon attempt tackling now that I'm back to busily poondin' my nucels' Bloody whilst staying inside - when I can SEE the Gory Confuzer Screen! And will briefly explain my current British Classic Rock Band's Obsession, which centers round Thar lead guitarist...

VIDEO: The Who - The Real Me

Nah, No Lucille Jokes today, especially now that The Gambler's just played his last Hand! But Thanks for your continued patience and continuing to follow along...

Tomaso

No Fenders Computer Hi Jinx Continues

As Thee Nuts 'N Bolts on this whole Transition process Definitely keep going Round and Round...

Nope, I'm not Sleeping Off St Patty's Day today, just throwin' out a Wee Bitamyte Blarney; Err an update over the Nonstop Pain in Ye Keister regarding trying to transition to thou wonderful world 'O Microsoft winDOUGHS 10; SPEW!

As silly Me, I scrambled to Poond out a few more riveting No Fenders Blog Stories on the 'Ol Puter during some "Down Time" whilst Ah-waitin' transportation after droppin' off la Machine. As it only took me a further week's time to retrieve my new W10' Desktop Tower back from Ye local Computer Shop after having them swap out Video Cards, for which Zoomtext FAILED to Specify upon its system requirements page - And I had to Pay for their Mistake!

Now I'm eagerly Ah-waitin', NOT! To "S-E-E?" Hey Jeannie' this is One, this is Two, which is Better? If I'll now need to buy a new monitor since mine's a classic unit from two systems ago, which works perfectly fine, but may not be copasetic' with today's "New & Improved;" BULLSHIT! Graphics; URGH!

As I'm guessin' this will be the next thingy' I need to purchase, before getting round to a new printer, since the old one's not compatible with today's New & Improved system, Bugger! What's that? It's in Thee Small Print, Huh?

And then may be, just may be? I'll be able one day to return to the usual labourious task of Fighting the continuously Shifting light that permeates thou Bungalow's Dwelling, causing me major Fits every Blinkin' second! Regarding trying  to S-e-E what I'm working upon Ye Gory Confuzer! Even with the shades closed and an extra "Blackout" Curtain Drawn; URGH!

As I do enjoy Seeing The Light, but just Not when it's continuously Blottin' Out thoust Confuzer Screen! Which I've got No Clue if this has something to do with the neighbors cutting down an 'Ol Tree, albeit they said it was Dangerous... But Shit Man! I Cannot SEE the Bloody Screen; Oh Never Mind!

VIDEO: The Who - Love Rain O'er Me

Thanks for your continued patience,

Tomaso

No Fenders Experiencing Technical Difficulties...

Ah, I just LUV' thoust Smell 'O Capitalism in Thee Morning!

Thanks to the insistence of Microsoft to Force us Happy, contented Windows 7 Customers to upgrade to Windows 10, along with Freedom Scientific Sales Pitch of you really need to Upgrade to Zoomtext 2020, with the latter being the Screen Reader Software's parents of thou ubiquitous Lucy', my Arse-steamed Screen reader the past 14yrs - which appears to not be available on Zoomtext 2020; But I Digress...

As Riddle Me this; How does a Blind Person transport a Computer Desktop Tower back 'N forth to the Computer Shop?

Having initially gone 11 Days W/O A Confuzer', and then spending another week plus being barely able to navigate the "Wired World," primarily Zed Internets' due to unforeseen software issues.

As Florencian F1 spotter Jeannie said I sounded like a Kid upon Christmas morning when being able to use my 'Ol W7 Puter' after being in a virtual Blackout the past three weeks...

AnyHoo, All of this Dribble is to let Yuhs know I haven't Quit Blogging yet, but just Don't have any sense of when my virtual world here upon Ye Isle 'O Nofendersville will return to what I've been accustomed to for the past seven years in order to continue blogging my thoughts upon Ye Vurld' de Motorsporten, Ja-Ja!

Since not only do I have to make Zoomtext 2020 work, which naturally utilizes entirely Different Command Keys, but I've also got to learn the new thoroughly scrambled; Err, Uhm, I meant "New & Improved," Yeah that's the; Oh Never Mind! Microsoft Office 2016 Dialects, i.e.; revised Word Ribbon Commands plus the totally new Outlook email system. Ergo learn three new Alphabets on the Fly!

As so much has happened since I originally took Ye Trusty 'Ol winDOUGHS 7 Confuzer in for W10 Arse-symulation Wayback on Valentine's Day, Hubba-Hubba!

Hopefully the new video card, for which Zoomtext cannot guarantee will solve the main software interface issues - for which I'll have now tried two of the three pre-eminent choices available! Will at least rectify the interface issues and I can return to No Fenders shortly...

As I'll leave Y'all with another song which seems Apropos to what's been going on in Nofendersville, which came to thou surface after listening to Pete Townsend's wonderful autobiography Who I Am whilst Ah-waitin' the completion of my new Confuzer and its transportation home...

VIDEO: The Who - the Seeker

Thanks for your patience. Since what's that 'Ol song 'bout you chose a fine time to leave me Lucille? Since Formula 1 and IndyCar's right round the corner, literally!

Tomaso