Friday, March 22, 2019

Racing Nirvana: The Clock Strikes Midnight, with another 14hrs of Motor Racing to G-O'




Great Britain's legendous' Big Ben Clock on a Sunny Day in Bloody London! (Image source: 123rf.com)
Nope, your ramblin' No Fenders Scribe Tomaso hasn't turned into a Pumpkin; Hya!

As Many, if You're still reading this? Chirp-Chirp, Bueller? Will wonder how I came up with 24hrs, Eh? Since I actually engrossed Thyself on Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville in Far More than 24 Hours total racing action, i.e.; Indy Cars Qualie' and Formula One's second Free Practice (FP2) and Qualifying sessions. For which BOTH of the latter were available on my "FREE" Cable TV Channels; Can Yuhs Hear Me Now IndyCar?

Alas, I'm simply counting the Race durations Only, even though the IndyCar and Formula 1 Races are limited to a maximum of 2hrs duration, which only happens occasionally, i.e.; extended Red Flag periods or Rain Delays; But I Digress...

After having stayed up 'til Thee Witching Hour watching; Err mostly listening to Formula One's Friday Free Practice (FP2) session via ESPNews, which had a Hilarious portion featuring le Reggie's (Renault) Test/Reserve Driver Jack Aitken, whom apparently Johnny Herbert likes calling Jack ("Chet?") Achen', Err Uhm, Atkins; Hya!

As Sky Sports Main Man Kroftie' (David Kroft) asked if he'd ever heard of this Lando Norris Chap? To which Aitken immediately Shot Back, Who's That? Never Heard of Him!

And after much Guffawing, Aitken said Yeah, He Beat Me! (In Formula 2) Now that he's gone, I'll have a proper Krack at Winning; Hya!

As Karun "Cowboy" Chandhok's a Fine F1 Pundit; Err Presenter? With NO Disrespect towards the former Indian F1 Pilote', but He's simply not the same as Good 'Ol Bloody Theodore, "Not Lenny!" Kravitz, whom I missed during the weekend's Formula 1 television coverage...


Hence, I began Saturday's Mega' RaceAthon Gorge-fest' by Tuning into CNBC's morning portion of the 12 Hours of Sebring Sports Car race, primarily to listen to Leigh Diffey, Thee Dinger', nee A.J. Allmendinger and Calvin Fish.

As fortunately I totally missed the 40mins Dry-the-Track behind the Safety Car action, and listened intently to the Booth Boyz' until the television coverage Done' Ended, switching to some P.O.S. El Stupidio' App thingy'; SHEISA!

Therefore, I promptly logged onto Thy Confuzer' and Dropped-in to IMSA Radio for the duration of the remaining 12hrs. Having begun just prior to Der Heindenmeier', nee John Hindhaugh proclaiming another Hour was beginning at 10:40AM Pacific.

And who's that Stir-range', Twangy' voice? As former Indy Lights Driver Shelby Blackstock was in the Booth as a guest commentator...

And know I shouldn't type this But. He immediately made me think of when Ron was assisting me shopping recently. Began reading the Tabloids at the Cash Register and pronounce that Rita Hayworth; OOPS! Freudian Slip Thar. Uhm, that Reba McIntyre had just spent $275,000 on a Cosmetic Makeover; CRIKEYS!

As  I could spend Hours 'N Hours listening to Der Heindenmeier', which is exactly what I did, albeit taking breaks away from thou Confuzer'.

Coming back in the midst of Johnny O', who's pretty Obnoxious over his role as Cadillac Ambassador! Was musing 'bout driving for a Different Manufacturer, to which Hindhaugh immediately Quipped, is Thar another?

As Johnny O'Connell was reminiscing 'bout his Days at Sebring as a Nissan Driver. For which O'Connell should be Proud of winning the 1994 Sebring event aboard one of Clayton Cunningham's Nissan 300ZX's with Steve Millen and John Morton.

Yet O'Connell's always a Delight to listen to, as he's got a Zillion Crazy, Funny and Zany Stories! As I enjoyed his Quip 'bout Brian Till, who Johnny said "I Love the Guy!" Before telling 'bout how Brian once got so exasperated with his race engineer, he said then why Don't you just have the Blinkin' Computer Drive the Car! to which said Engineer Dryly retorted that the Rules Don't Allow It!

Whilst Johnny recalled having a Good 'Ol Fashioned Donnybrook with Corvette team-mate Oliver berretta, to which Pitlane Reporter Shea Adam quickly corrected O'Connell by saying that both had Ignored the Flagman at the end of Pitlane waving a Red Flag saying they must Stop!

As I find Shea Adam to be the most underrated le Femme Motor Racing Reporter! As I've got nothing against Kelli Stavast, other than I always think RASSCAr' when I hear her. While Jamie Howe's quite good also. But for Mwah, Shea's the Best in the Business, who primarily Flies Underneath the Radar due to just being a Sports Car Reporter doing radio.


And Speakin' of Jamie Howe, who's also now part of the IMSA Radio Crew, alongside Shea Adam; Hmm? Any relationship to the former IMSA Racer and TV Announcer Jim Adam?

Howe interviewed Thee Cheepster', nee Chip Ganassi during the race, asking why Cheeps' in Sports Car Racing and how deep are his roots?

As Ganassi, a la Corvette Racing, Porsche and IndyCar competitor "Booby Ruble," of Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing Fame, all had four cars apiece entered over the Super Sebring race weekend. With Rahal & Co. running the BMW M8 GTE Coupes in both GT Le Mans categories...

To which Chip', who's actual name is Floyd Ganassi, Jr. noted he's always been into Sports Car racing, and his roots go Wayback. Musing how he'd always Dreamed of racing a Porsche 935 or 962 Panzerwagon; Ja Volt!

As Ganassi coyly left out the fact that he raced a few times in IMSA aboard a Spice chassis in the IMSA Camel Lights Days. Along with his final race outing being someplace called Circuit de la Sarthe!


As Ganassi, who also contested five Indianapolis 500 races as a Driver, is listed as part of the #62 Kuros Racing Sauber C9 Mercedes that was classified 35th, which he Co-drove with ex-Formula 1 Drivers Johnny Dumfries and Mike Thackwell.

With some noted IndyCar Drivers in the '87 24 Heurs du Mans being Al Holbert, who won the race in a Rothmans Porsche 962C.

Along with Eddie "The Mouth!" Cheever, Raul BAM-BAM, BRAHMA! Boesel and Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear competing that June...

Reputedly Dumfries, who was some Cat named Ayrton's (Senna) Lotus Formula 1 team-mate in '86, handed off the Team Sauber chassis to Ganassi, only to have the Gearbox Done Pack Up with Cheep' behind the Wheel!

Whilst the Scottish Earle would redeem himself by winning Le Mans the following year with Tom Walkinshaw Racing and silk Cut Jaguar.

SHEEZ!

And I haven't even gotten to the Nightcap, Thee Australian Grand Prix Down Under in Bloody Melbourne, Mates! Which ESPN conveniently managed to Dribble past the first 8mins of the Pre-race, Buggers!

And I Don't wanna say it was a Boring race, especially since my Numero Uno F1 Driver Bottas, Valtteri Bottas Kicked Golden Child's Arse, leading Wire-to-Wire for his first victory since the 2017 season finale Abu Dhabi GP, But!

You're getting very Sleepy Tomaso! As thou Symphonic Stereo-track 'O "muted" wailing turbo hybrid V-6's pounding round bloody Albert Park simply induced Mwah into a Deep Sleep!

Nodding Off with Bottas leading Hamilton by nearly six seconds after his Pit-stop, I wondered how'd the Finn had built up a lead of some 24 seconds with Martin Billybob' Brundle saying Thars' 10-laps left; Huh? Which was actually perfect, since I hadn't missed a Bloody thing!

Other than Dearly missing the laconic Pitlane reporting of Teddy, Not Lenny; Hya! Kravitz! As C'mon Sky Sports, bring Theodore Back where he rightly belongs! As Yuhs can rotate Chandhok with Pippy Paul di Resta and Johnny Herbert alongside Simon Lazenby...

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