Monday, June 27, 2016

MOTO GP: Top Rides Secured, but Can Anybody See them Stateside?




Suzuki MotoGP Rider Maverick Vinales at this year's Spanish GP at Jerez, Spain. (Image source: shutterstock.com)
There's an O-L-D song comin' to mind called The Politics of Dancing, but instead in Thy case  of MotoGP, it would be titled The Politics of Kick Boxing, as Moto GP's definitely NOT Sweeping across Thy Airwaves in North America these Days!


As previously belabored here in Nofendersville, for which your humble No Fenders scribe Tomaso's been away from the past several weeks now. Fox Sports (FS1) has decided to go in a new direction, as it's a S-A-D day indeedy when Mixed Martial Arts outsells the worlds premiere road racing motorcycle series, nee MotoGP! Not to mention Golf; URGH!

And it appears that the sanctioning body DORNA doesn't give a SHIT either, eh? Like seriously? We're pleased to bring you the world's best riders on; Uhm, wait for I-T! Chirp-Chirp, Bueller? Tuh-Duh...

beIN Sports

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???

HOLY INDISCERNABLE TV CHANNELS BATMAN!

As there's definitely something not being disclosed here behind closed doors? Although DORNA's already shown its hand a la FOM by not being able to Cough-Cough, come to an agreement to continue racing at the hallowed grounds of Indianapolis, along with previously discarding Laguna Seca. Presumably in Thy mold of Uncle Bernaughty's squeezing every Bloody Greenback out of countries willing to pay higher sanctioning fees!

As I don't know 'bout Y'all, but I'm tired of always being the Guinea pig who gets to help push an unheard of and sometimes unsolicited television channel from obscurity to the mainstream - which surely is beIN Sports intentions...


But SHIT Dudes! If my moistess; Err mostest wondrous Cable TV Service provider comca$t AIN'T willing to make MAV TV or Fox Sports 2 available, albeit I do get BBC America in Thy outer fringes, i.e.; channel 162; WTF! Then what makes beIN Sports think they'll ever succeed?

But enough dribble about that already, as I pity thy Fools at beIN Sports, since I for one do NOT miss getting up at thou KURR-RACK 'O DAWN to sit in the Darkness blurry eyed listening to those Bloody international Boothboyz' prattle on...

Then again, with the just concluded rounds of rider swaps effectively neutering the remainder of the 2016 Silly Season relatively meaningless, it's too bad we won't get to see Moto GP's version of Thy Octagon here Stateside.

As just think, in this corner in red, white and green leathers, weighing in at a svelte 64 kilos from Palma de Mallorca is Quadruple MotoGP champ-pee-on' Horr-rae' Lorenzo on his number 99 Duc! (Ducati)

Opposite Horr-rae's that Spicy Meatball, who like a  fine wine just keeps getting better with age! As the nine times world champion wearing banana yellow and steel tipped boots will once  again bring his Ninja Stars to thunderdome's cage -fight in hopes of once again carving up the field! As let's hear I-T for thee Doctor Valentino Rossi wheelin' the No. 69 Movistar Yamaha, thee Bologna in the Spanish Shish Kabob...

On the other side of the Steak is Marcus The Whiz Kid Marquez, as some like I-T HOT! As this El Spanol rider enjoys imploring his #43 Repsol Honda's Flamethrower  to torch his opponents trackside!

And then wait for I-T! As can Y'all hear 'Ol Kenny Loggins croonin' that song? Pushin' I-T to Overload, Highway to the Danger Zone!


As expected rising MotoGP Star Maveric "Top Gun" Viñales has just been confirmed as Valentino's team-mate, also on a two-year contract a la The Doctor, and will take up residence on Lorenzo's Yamaha mount beginning in 2017, as suppose it'll take a little time geting used to seeing the #25 number plate on Jorge's ride.

although it's too Bad that I won't be seeing my Numero Uno MotoGP rider on Thy Telie' anytime soon. But somehow I sense this is one Spaniard Valentino will be more than accommodating to help secure the world championship title if out of his reach!

And with George Lorenzo possibly taking another MotoGP No. 1 plate to la Rosso Scooters, (Ducati) upon Top Gun Viñales confirmation at Movistar Yamaha, along with Ducati having let Andrea Iannone go, Suzuki swiftly snapped up the services of the discarded Italian Knee-dragger. Although I'm not sure which bike's better right now, i.e.; Ducati v Suzuki...

Yet Karmically, in what could bode well for la Italianos' Scooters' outfit Ducati, eventual third place finisher Iannone  recorded the fastest time ever on a MotoGP motorcycle, clocking an astounding 354.9kph - Jus a Schosh below 220.5  BLOODY Miles-per-hour; BASTA!


While ironically Lorenzo snatched the victory away from Marquez on the final lap to leave Mugello with a narrow ten point lead in the championship fight - with the Doctor uncharacteristically having his Yamaha lump' DONE BLOWN up! After having secured his first Pole at home since '08.

As The Whiz Kid, or should I-T be Pinball Wizard? Marquez spewed his typical rhetoric afterwards by saying he's not worried at all over the 10-point deficit and is definitely in the title hunt...

As Valentino made amends by winning next time out in Catalunya ahead of arch rival Marquez, who's team-mate Pedrosa completed the Podium. While Lorenzo faded to fifth and then was crashed out! Giving Marquez the points lead at 125, followed by Lorenzo with 115 and Rossi at 103.

MORE MOTO GP RIDER MOVES...
Originally, with Iannone moving to Suzuki, I ARSE-Sumed that All of the factory "Works" rides were effectively settled for the foreseeable future, albeit I've failed to mention that Dani Pedrosa has also inked a further two year extension to remain as Marquez's Wingman, whilst Marquez himself has also recently inked further seat-time aboard his Repsol Honda likewise.

And I've forgotten that KTM joins the MotoGP fracas next season, having already secured leading Monster Yamaha Satellite rider Bradley Smith with fellow Tec Twah' team-mate Pol Espargar joining the Austrian Works squad in 2017 - with both riders on the de riggour two year contract Dealio, all of which leads just the privateer "Satellite" operations seats to play for next year.

And now comes word as I try putting Thy story to bed, that Suzuki will go for an All New clean sweep next year by just having announced current Moto2 title leader Alex Rins as Iannone's team-mate for 2017, leaving Aleix Espargaro out in Thy Cold searching for a Satellite ride instead...

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