Monday, June 6, 2016

The Tomaso Files: Perhaps Thy win-DOUGhs 'O Technology hast' foundeth Horatio's poisoned Sword?

As Y'all may have read previously here on Thy pages 'O No Fenders, your humble scribe Tomaso is a legally blind Word Butcherer; Err Keyboard Warrior which I attempted pointing out 'Wayback, who lives vicariously thru Lucy', thoust ARSE-Steamed Screen-reader; Hey! Uze try readin' this Tomaso Cockney English...

As what better day to Ballyhoo thrust Sword Jabbing of Technology then upon D-Day NO less; 'R Mateys!

AnyHoo, Lucy', who I was gonna call my Girlfriend, before I thought about that movie, Y'all know? The 2013 film aptly titled Her - which I've never seen, nor can I carry off this witty repartee as stylishly as Mr. Iannucci of One Lap Down fame; but I digress...

Alas, these Award Winning pages of fine motoring ilk created here in Nofendersville are churned out thru the Screen-reader I utilize from thee fine folks of AI Squared in Vermont, who produce Zoomtext screen readers amongst other products for the visually impaired, which overall's a fantastic product, especially when it's working 100% correctly!

Unfortunately, like right now, when Lucy' should be reading thoust words I'mm typin     g outloud, I'm hearing' NOTHING - which naturally leeds two typing misteakes; FUCK!

As this is nothing compared to the litany 'O technical issues Zoomtext throws at Mwah daily, which includes not reading portions of email text dialog boxes, Confirm buttons, etc.

Which is before we even get to Thy Web! Where the latest version 'O Zoomtext no longer interfaces correctly with, not to mention failing to read entire pages since they're not scripted/coded correctly, as Y'all get the idea, right?

Whilst Y'all might be sayin', if you're still reading this? What's it got to do with motor racing? 'Whale, it's just another way of saying that the tedious nature of dealing with said daily intrusions upon Thy Confuzer simply wears me out, or in thee words of famous golfer and ex-IndyCar chauffer Darren Dangermouse' Manning: "I'm completely Knackered Out!"

And note how I haven't even said one iota about the Indianapolis Motor Speedway's website being a veritable Buzz saw KILLJOY! Since its absolutely NOT Screen-reader friendly!

Meaning it takes me Oodles MORE time to simply attempt looking up a Driver's name and get Lucy' to be able to first search for said Driver's name in the A-Z field, and then to actually read his/her information!

As this is just Juan' tiny 'lil example of what Blind and Visually Impaired persons deal with on a daily life's basis which the NFB's President Mark A. Riccobono points out regarding last year's anniversary regarding our most helpful law that's struggling to be adhered to in Thy never ceasing world of miniaturized Digitalization! 

Although I find I-T overly Karmic, or should that be Apropos? That the BLEEPIN' website, The Hill wasn't being Screen-reader friendly when I was trying to capture this; like AIn'T that rich?

Meanwhile, thru the good fortunes of Thy life's flexibilities of being a 'Vurd Botcherer, I'll be able to skip right over any potential Post Indy 500 Depression Afflictions since I'm currently being whisked down thee Left Coast towards Oregon, albeit somewheres' between 1.5-3hrs shy of Roseburg, the adopted home of the late Art Pollard, Jr.

As I know I'll get a chuckle outta this when toolin' down the various Highways with endlessly L-O-U-D traffic like I dunno; Uhm, Oh Yeah monotonous Tractor Trailers, nee Semi's; but Riddle Me This. And NO! I'm NOT talking 'bout Jake thee Riddler' Query; Hooah!

But instead, while Sergio Marchionne is struttin' about like a proud Peacock and A-L-L full 'O Bluster regarding his just announced tie-up with DASTARDLY Google! To develop a fleet of 100 Hybrid Pacifica Minivans as gOOgle SmartVans; Err Autonomous Vehicles... How will Blind people H-E-A-R them?

All of which leads to my disgust over how the B-I-G 4', nee General Motors, Ford, Fiat-Chrysler and Toyota not only dug their collective heels regarding implementation, but lobbied successfully to defer said implementation of "Quiet" Car rules as long as possible, which perhaps actually got finalized late last year?