Monday, December 9, 2013

F1: Indian Soup, Yas Stuffing...

Kimi Raikkonen at Silverstone, 2012. (Source: f1fanatic.co..uk)
Otay, so I've got Turkey Lurkey-itus here lately, as I've just returned from another fantastic outing at COTA - where Y'all know the FRIGGIN' results; Ja Volt!

And with TWINKIEBOY making a mockery of the Formula 1 circus this year, it's been somewhat hard to get overly Revved UP over the past few races, even when 'Ol Professor Matchett continuously drones on 'bout how we're witnessing History and our children & grandchildren will ask us if we watched Seb' Vettel make history all those years ago? Umm? Will there be another  generation that gives a CRAP about F1?

And thus I'll confess I really don't have much to scribble 'bout the last four events - as I've never felt my passion for Formula 1 waning so much compared to the previous years gone by, especially since the same driver wins every race, and like Lewis Hamilton said; Y'all can wake up, turn the Telie on, go back to sleep and then turn it on later to see Michael Schumacher; Err Seb' Vettel win another race, YAWN! While IndyCar just had one of its best seasons ever with ten different winners from seven teams along with four debutant winners - but continues to get hammered in the television ratings, probably something to do with being on "Peacock-lite,"  (NBCSN) eh?

INDIA
Once again Vettel dually started on Pole and streaked away from the Mercedes duo of Nico Rosberg & Lewis Hamilton, the trio having started on the "Soft's" (option) rubber while Seb's teammate Mark Webber (P4) had opted for the prime harder tyres, as Vettel pulled out 2.4-seconds alone on his opening lap before at the end of lap-2 racing into the pits to switch over to the preferred Medium (prime) Pirelli rubber, dropping to 17th place - which ironically is where Lotuses Romain Grosjean started due to a poor 'Qualie session.

With the shuffling of cars to rid themselves of the soft rubber, la Scuderia's Felipe Massa became the first driver other than Vettel to lead the Indian Grand Prix before Red Bull's Webber took over the point on lap-9.

And it's all coming back now as the in-car radio was played of an incredulous Webber croaking "Stop the Car?" (WTF???) As once again Webber would fall foul to mechanical gremlins as his alternator packed it in whilst the Aussie' was running second to that Dastardly German Wunderkind Vettel who'd retaken the lead for good upon lap 33.

Nico Rosberg took over second place on lap-52 while thee 'Kimster, (Raikkonen) remember him? Trying to do an All-skate home in the top three on severely shot rubber was passed by the flying Grosjean as Kimi forlornly pitted for new Pirelli's in order to salvage seventh while his less heralded teammate Grosjean finished a spectacular third!

Yet more noise about the race was probably made over Vettel's until then uncustomary stopping upon the front straight to do celebratory "Doughnuts" to punctuate clinching his fourth consecutive world championship as the FIA would later fine him $25,000 Euros for not proceeding directly to Parc Ferme!




ABU DHABI
Following the Indian Grand Prix it was learned that Kimi Raikkonen and Lotus F1 Trackside manager Alan Permane had had a most memorable conversation on the in-car radio where Permane told Kimi to get out of the FUCKING way! Ultimately leading to a Raikkonen meltdown uncharacteristically revealing that he hadn't been paid a single Euro to date  for his services rendered...


Adding further insult to injury, Raikkonen's Lotus chassis was found to be foul of a too flexible floor  in Post-qualifying scrutineering and would be forced to start dead last, as thee "Iceman" uncharacteristically tried making up positions too quickly and had a first corner collision with "Guido-the-Dutchman," (Giedo van der Garde) breaking Kimi's track-rod and promptly retiring before quickly disappearing into his rental car and exiting stage left el Pronto! (As it'd be the last we'd see of Raikkonen this year...)

Meanwhile, Mark Webber cleanly out qualified Vettel for Pole, unlike his previous Pole where the German had issues with his KERS system, but it was all for naught, as another typical Webber get-away saw him drop to third while Vettel rocketed off into the sunset never to be  seen again, as Vettel's lead was so startling that at one point he led his second place teammate by 40-seconds; Aye Karumba!

Webber dually got around the precocious "Brittany," nee Nico Rosberg who'd ultimately finish upon the podium's final step whilst Romain Grosjean kept his fine finishing form alive with P4 while "Fredrico Suave" (Alonso) closed out the top-5, although I seem to recall that he had a massive Mano e Mano duel with teammate Felipe Massa who wasn't pulling over for the Spaniard anymore - having been given his walking papers from Ferrari, before the Scuderia boyz mysteriously fitted the "slower" prime tyres for his unplanned second stop when clearly the soft Pirelli rubber was the way to go.

Thus Ho-Hum, Vettel won again, his seventh victory in-a-row equaling his hero 'DER TERMINATOR's (M. Schumacher) tally from 2004 - with only Alberto Ascari's astounding nine in-a-row tally from 1952-53 besting the 26yr old "Baby Schuey..."




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