Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Tomaso Files: Colts Pigskin game Overshadows IndyCar racing in City of Speed...

Lucas Oil Stadium - site of the mighty Seattle Seahawks lone loss this season vs. the Indianapolis Colts. View of the north side of the stadium where the giant window under the Lucas Oil sign opens up so you can see a great view of Downtown Indianapolis. (DOB) 
By now, if Y'all have been readin' along? Then you're well aware of the fact that your humble No Fenders scribe recently jetted off to the City 'O Speed to celebrate his "Born-on Date," not to be 'Cornfuzed with my hometown known formerly as thee Jet City... As that's the best I can come up with for Indianapolis which after all is the home of Mother Speedway...

Thus after this weekend's gorging of some 'lil Pigskin games, I thought it high time to roll out this vintage Tomaso Files story fermentin' in the vats of oak barrels at Tomaso Manor... Not even having dipped into the proverbial Eggnog, yet; Hya!

As I also found it funny that perhaps our paths crossed virtually somewheres above 36,000-feet? As I was flying east, as it turned out WAY east of Indianapolis, having my connecting flight in Newark, New Jersey's Liberty Airport  where ironically my second jet, an Embrarer 170 was arriving from Austin, Texas... Where I'd be flying next;  meanwhile thee OLDEST IndyCar Blogger Geo. Phillips was winging his way towards Fontana from Nashville...

And as 'Ol Kurty Cavin said on Trackside back then; EVERYBODY KNEW ABOUT THE GAME! As I still find it hilarious that I'd magically managed to book my Holiday for the same weekend that Indy's revered son "Pay-ton" (Manning) was making his first return in an opposing team's football jersey during America's Night 'O Football; SPEW!

As I'd hoped to go 'N watch that Oh So Riveting IndyCar season finale from Fontana at McGilvery's but instead settled for the quiet tranquility of Carpets Manor, which was far less crowded, had way shorter bathroom lines and the air was far fresher than the smoke laden McGilvery's, as Psst Indiana, wake up an PASS the NO Smoking in Bars law already! I mean CRAP! If Ireland can go smokeless than certainly you can too, right?

As I'd also failed to take in the significance of being on east coast time which Carpets, or is it Car Parts as Don Kay so cleverly interjected? Likes to constantly remind me about and hence the IndyCar race didn't Flippin' start until nearly 9PM due to the setting sun's inconvenience; WTF?

And we didn't stagger off to bed 'til 12 FREAKIN' 40AM! As really IndyCar? Y'all expect the "Casual Fan" to stay up past midnight to watch a motor race; Uhm? did somebody say TV Ratings? Oh Never Mind! as I'll save my angst towards IndyCar and more specifically Mark "I've Got A Plan" Miles for a future post, but suffice it to say, I'm NOT impressed one iota with the new schedule and the direction of IndyCar per sei...

Yet then again, Sunday night's Game of A-L-L Games didn't exactly end early either, yet I'm guessing the majority of Indiana was glued to their 'Telie's, right? As I'd even broken out my one lone blue T-Shirt for said occasion, as Carpets took us to the local Oliver winery in Bloomington for a nice Sunday afternoon outing, as the sun was out and the temperatures pleasant as we moseyed up to the tasting table.

As I always have a chuckle to myself whenever partaking in any wine tasting outings ever since my first 'Juan in 'Der Fatherland where I was invited to a Wine Probe; Ja Volt! As I find this vernacular overly funny and akin to having been asked "Gas, No Gas?" In Italy... As in fizzy water or plain, comprende?

PLong ago postcard from Indianapolis Motor Speedway extolling the virtues of the Brickyard 400 by proclaiming: Here come 43 of the Fastest Stockcars on the Planet; Hya! (The Tomaso Collection)
Then for entertainment Monday, whilst awaiting thee B-I-G NIGT, aka Donald Kay's 'lil Radio Show at McGilveries, Dave mentioned he'd been hankerin' to play the Roulette wheel at his local casino - so off we went, where my overly keen 'Strats-uh-gee saw me go down in flames; El Pronto! As Dave's Roulette wheel, which I've never played in my life had a minimum bet of $5.00, hence I picked the  following numbers: 2, 9, 18, 20 and 27, which I'll let Y'all digest a moment and see if Yuhs can figure out my logic & where the numbers came from?

Yep, that's right, they're ALL IndyCar car numbers, having picked A.J. Allmendinger, Scott Dixon, Justin 'B-I-G UNIT Wilson, "FAST EDDIE" (Ed Carpenter) and thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown, aka James Hinchcliffe.

And SHAZAMM! BOOM! BIFF! The number was 14; CRAP! As I went again with the same results, witnessing ten 'Smackeroos ($10) go POOF! In about two minutes, which is way too rich for my blood; as I'd rather throw ten dollars away upon a movie, etc and hence, I just sat 'N watched CARPETS do his majik and work his way up to $99; ironically a very famous CART number, i.e.; the late, great Greg Moore's... Before cashing out at Sammy "I CAN'T DRIVE 55!" Hagar's favourite number, walking away from the table with "Double Nickels" ($55) in his pocket!

Then it was time to go to the Autosport Radio Show, which I think I haven't been to a live airing of in some two-plus years now? As it was an Ok show with two guests, as ironically I'd searched 'N searched for my No. 67 Kyle O'Gara T-Shirt before leaving, but couldn't find I-T; Oh 'Whale, eh?

North side of Lucas Oil Stadium. Picture of #98 All Pro Robert Mathis who relentlessly harassed Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson during the Hawks loss to the Colts. (DOB)
As the first guest was  a relative unknown to Mwah, after all being an Out-of-Towner, I'd never heard of Greg Rakestraw's name or him on Indianapolis's local radio airwaves, as naturally he had to talk about the Colts... YUK! I thought this was supposed to be a Motorsports Show? Which I suppose is kinda like Y'all asking isn't this supposed to be a racing blog, eh?

Next up was Kyle O'Gara, fresh off his second ever Indy Lights outing, this time having actually completed the race, as he confirmed what I'd surmised previously. That he'd gone for a conservative set-up in order to actually finish the race and get some racing miles underneath his belt after his early exit us at this year's Freedom 100. Y'all can listen to the show by clicking Here.

And as I've also previously scribbled, I was totally unawares that I should have been toasting tony Renna with the first of my Adult Beverages that night in;

And although I swore I'd NEVER transit thru Chicago's O'Hare airport after United Airlines FUCKED ME OVER! Stranding me there for a RIDICULOUS 7HRS; SHEISA! When they escorted me to the WRONG gate in the WRONG terminal on my way home from this year's Indy 500... Nevertheless, guess where I was going?

And I've only ever experienced an aborted takeoff once before, when our fully laden 757 decided to do so at SeaTac Airport one evening many years ago. As I DON'T claim to be a Soothsayer of Aeroplane takeoffs, but before we aborted - to which our pilot claimed they'd seem some furry 'lil *squirrel) critters on the runway... I told myself  we weren't going FAST enough!

thus, as my 'lil (American Eagle) Embrare 140 "Puddle Jumper" taxied out of Indianapolis and we prepared for takeoff, the same feeling of "lack of speed" came across Mwah as we aborted takeoff with the pilot saying they'd just had a minor alarm go off, were recycling it and we'll go again. But NO dice, as we aborted our second takeoff in-a-row, which I've never experienced before... With the pilot now saying we'd need to go back to the gate and await maintenance as the passengers behind me groaned about missing their connections.

And I found it funny for A-L-L of the security we're forced to endure these Dazes that the pilots promptly popped the flight deck door open and I could hear the pilot talking to the tower, maintenance, bellyaching about missing his connection to Jamaica-Man, asking the Stewardess; Err Flight Attendant to get him a diet RC, etc. As I swear I heard him say they were only getting 64% thrust and that maintenance was gonna simply disable the offending sensor instead of fixing I-T! To which the people behind me said that doesn't sound good; CRIKEYS!

Yet for  Mwah, this unintended delay was great news since I originally had a three hour layover in Chicago, and with our 90-minute delay, having to wait upon airport assistance which was overly SLOW; BINGO! After my restroom stop I only had a miniscule 25/30-minute wait 'til boarding my next flight home... With my only complaint about this flight was that although my ticket said Food for Sale, there  WASN'T ANY food for purchase available upon this 4hr-plus flight; GROAN!

But Phoenicia, my airport assistant at O'Hare was extremely friendly, first taking me by the hand before loosely buckling me into the wheelchair. Later on sez' tell her about parties in Seattle next time I'm in airport... Sez O-L-D Folks talk your ears off nonstop... As I'm always amazed how many people I rely upon to go from "Door-2-Door," aka Check-in, $ecurity, Transfers, Baggage Claim, etc. As I loosely counted twelve persons assisting me on the way home. (Excluding Shuttle Express reservations agent & driver) As this time was funny since it was the first time ever that the T$A worker at the metal detector refused to assist me thru I-T! As I stuck my hand out as typical for him to guide me thru, but he wouldn't take my hand...

And this concludes this ramble about the Joys 'O Aeroplane traveling, which Y'all are probably either just returning from or getting ready to do for Christmas, eh? So enjoy!

(DOB: Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)