Mayans visit No Fenders

The Infamous “NeckCar” Hill...

So I know this is supposed to be a racing ‘BLOB primarily dedicated to Open Wheel Racing; BUTT! I simply must get this off my chest, as a number of disheartening factions have simultaneously converged upon thee Award Winning No Fenders website.

On the morning of President’s Day, Blogger.com - the blog platform I publish these riveting stories upon inexplicably QUIT working - with ZERO warning; SHEISA! As isn’t it exhilarating when a service you utilize daily simply QUITS working because the gOOgleMunster BASTARDOS have decided to QUIT supporting your current, albeit outdated browser; WTF? I mean couldn’t Google or Blogger have at least given Mwah some type of verbal warning, or is that simply expecting too much? As I thought that it was just supposed to be the cherry tree that ‘Ol Georgie chopped down, right?

I had continued utilizing microSOFT’s Internetz Exploder 7 browser since it was the only one compatible with “Lucy” my esteemed Screen-reader, as after all, if you’re not aware of thee fact, your humble No Fenders scribe is visually impaired and henceforth, relies upon this marvel of modern technology in order to participate as a “Keyboard Warrior” upon le Blogosphere - of which I’ve previously scribbled ‘bout in;

Low Vision Racer

The reason I had stuck with IE7 was for the simple fact that “Lucy” who came upon my ZoomText 9.0 software wasn’t compatible with the newer IE8 (Internetz Exploder) which required a $215 upgrade - which I chose to try first vs. purchasing a new Confuzer, since I’d need to upgrade to ZoomText 10.0 (ZT10) no matter what!

And instead of trying to scribble the whole frustrating process here instead, as the new & improved ZT10 leaves a whole lot to desire, I’ll just leave Y’all with these tantalizing tidbits from the very nice “Tekie” who made “Lucy” work after I’d tried installing her twice; URGH! As these installations had actually made "Lucy" SPAZDIK on ze Internetz.

 F%%K! As I'm starting' to think she's become Juan 'O Jerry's Kids with the way she jerks left uncontrollably, stutters, starts ‘N stops, doesn’t read ALL text and randomly jumps to wherever she wishes when trying to back up, NOT to mention freezing hourly - especially when trying to read either WICKEDpedia or Gmail; YIKES! And that’s after she was fixed; Oh Never Mind! 

'Tink I can already hear U now sayin' just get a new Confuzer; BUTT! The ZoomText Tekie told me I'm gonna HATE microSOFT ‘dub-U (Windows) 7! Sez it’s ALL ‘ByteHeadz Fluff & is an extreme Cluge! Which I believe is the PC equivalent of Charlie Foxtrot; Err, can U say CLUSTER FUCK!

Told me that ALL of the programs are WORSE! And DON'T even get me started upon le gOOgleMunster SHITHEADS! As I'm thinking I'll write a letter to the National Foundation for the Blind (NFB) 'bout icon based systems.

As you see, (Pun intended) your humble scribe has RP - a hereditary deficiency that according to the Foundation Fighting Blindness (FFB) affects 1 in 4,000 people, or a staggeringly low 0.00025% of Americans. As according to the latest Census figures from July, 2011; the current U.S. population is 311,591,917 people, although I’ve seen the figure of 100,000 Americans being effected by this vision disorder - yet I’m not gonna try multiplying 0. 00025 X 7-billion today; Aye Karumba!

What is RP?

Yet the whole point of this RANT is that I find Google becoming overly Discriminatory towards blind & visually impaired people, as I’ve scribbled above - the latest version of Gmail - which I utilize for this blog has gone to an agonizingly ANNOYING set of ALL icons, i.e.; symbols for its Dashboard header, i.e.; where the words Back to Inbox; Archive; Report to Spam; Delete, etc once were - which imagine how HARD its for somebody who doesn’t see real well and has to click upon these tiny icons, eh? And that’s even before we get to the colours problem, as I can now barely see the box outline I’m supposed to check which is             way                              over                 to                         the                   left-side                       o the email I’m trying to work with; SHEISA!

As this doesn’t even take into consideration that I’m currently shunning upgrading to le gOOgleMunster’s new & improved Blogger Dashboard which I’ve tried and A) CANNOT see ANYThING upon the Dashboard since the whole colour pallet is almost identical! B) Is graphically driven a la Google Analytics - which I’ll state once again; if you’re visually impaired - chances are you CANNOT read a FREAKIN’ graph!

And just think of the 40-million Baby Boomers who’ll be affected by diminishing eyesight in the coming future, not to mention Macular Degeneration, etc.

Yet, if you’re still with me? May be you’re wunderin’ why don’t I just switch over to Wordpress instead? Whale Shaggy, it’s got the same HORRENDOUS colour issues that the new blogger platform has - as NOT everybody can see those less harsh, albeit noxious  colours you programmers seem to enjoy utilizing!

And speakin ‘O programmers; WTF? QUIT making my confuzer smarter then me, I mean when I type in Jonah Street’s name into my blog post QUIT F%%KING changing it into some “Smart Tag” as Jonah-Street is a Motorcycle rider & person and NOT a FRIGGINstreet Yuhs hear!

And now comes word that the new microSOFT  ‘dub-U 8 system is wishing to go to an ALL tiles based array of visual icons; OH CRAP! What is WRONG with you people? As NOT everybody can easily read small ‘N wacky visual icons - which I find to be overly INSULTING and DISCRIMANTORY towards us visually impaired people - of which Google is the WORST! As I sincerely look forward to the day that somebody CRUSHES them.

Having now been forced thru four iterations of my Blogging Platform with a fifth NEBULOUS change upon thee Horizon - unfortunately, I fear I can already see my time as a blogger coming to an end; as obviously wouldn’t you bee PISSED OFF if you’d devoted nearly six-years of your life to something and then simply had it taken away by some squad of Geeknoids? And don’t worry folks, there’s MORE; SHEISA!

Like notice Mr. CandyMann how I didn’t even mention how FUCKED UP the IMS website is now, see - wasn’t ‘Dat positive?

Sorry Y’all, just EXTREMELY frustrated over my continuously losing in the Tech Rat Race...

Lotus v Lotus - in a different guise

This past Sunday night, the prettiest Freak threw out the comment ‘bout why is the Lotus F1 concern so HOT! With Thee ‘Kimster, nee Kimi Raikkonen being on top of the time sheets - while the Lotus IndyCar concern is so far off the pace? Whale, I’m paraphrasing Crash Gladys’s exact comments here, but you get the jist of it, right?

To which led me wanting to “TWEET” the following; Oh Yeah, that’s right I DON’T FREAKIN’ tweet; Crikeys Mates!

As I wanted to point out the following Tiny Bubbles here... Like I hope that most of us do realize that there’s a reason they call F1 Pre-season testing the Winter Olympics, right? Hmm? Lotus had to cancel running in the second test due to design issues regarding the chassis front rear wishbone apparently having a ‘Wee bit too much weight whittled off of it - being repaired back at Enstone before last week’s final test outing.

Then Shuhzamm - was magically fastest in round-3 - Tuh Duh! Just sayin’ - sure sounds like some good ‘Ol fashion Damage Control or PR-speak to Mwah. Like do you really expect the Red bulls to be that far off the pace, come Melbourne?

Although I’d be most happy to see thee REAL Iceman & his Oomphlatts; Hya! Defeat Master ‘Zebb (Vettel) and the entire grid somewhere this season, say either Spa-Francorchamps or Austin - preferably Austin, since it’ll most likely be my only Grand Prix this year; whilst I’m certain Kimi, Eric Boullier and the whole Lotus F1 concern will be hoping victory comes much earlier in the season.

And the more I thought about it, the more I began wunderin’ if Crash was just simply trying to wind-us up? As I’d like to think most Open Wheel Racing devotees easily realize the difference between the Lotus (“V4”) Formula 1concern vs. the “Lotus-by-Judd” IndyCar engine start-up program.

As after all, Lotuses F1 roots go all the way back to the Toleman F1 team which made its F1 debut in 1981 before morphing into Benetton 26yrs ago after being bought out by the Italian clothing concern, who installed some character known formerly as Flavour Flav, and more recently as “HMS Monogram,” who Y’all may know better as the instigator of the Singapore CrashGate, none other then Flavio Briatore.

Yet for ALL of his faults, nevertheless Flav did indeed guide first Benetton to two World Championships and one Constructors title with some chap named DER TERMINATOR, aka Michael Schumacher before being dismissed from his Team Principal role. Then Briatore was reinserted to his post when Renault bought the team and led them to a “Double-Double” en route to winning the Drivers & Constructors titles back-to-back with Fredrico Suave, a.k.a. Fernando Alonso in 2005-06.

As the reason the Lotus chassis is named E20 is to signal the Enstone base’s twentieth year of design - and their existence, while the team is propelled by the past two year’s winning French engine Renault, which should theoretically make it a potent weapon in Räikkönen’s hands, provided the Finn hasn’t lost any of his legendary speed - as I’m certain ‘Ol ‘Hobbo, aka David Hobbs would proclaim his “Attachments” are still extremely large; Hooha!

Meanwhile, when I think of Lotus, I NEVER ever consider them as an engine manufacturer; Hmm? Guess that makes me one of them forlorned “Purists,” eh? As I will forever envision the British marque as the Team Lotus winning concern of Colin Chapman - which perhaps has something to do with Dany Bahar’s penchant of hiring everyone ‘N their cousins to be running around thee globe in black & gold John Player Special (JPS) paint schemes, w/the exception of “Symona-Symona” (de Silvestro) running the ‘Loti green in order to make her Glow-in-the-Dark IndyCar sponsor happy...

Lotus up for Sale again?

Thus with all of the turmoil over who’ll ultimately control the Lotus Cars concern, is it any surprise that this first year late to thee party “Lotus-by-Judd” brigade, which is “Badge Engineering” at its finest. Has been behind the eight ball since its surprise announcement to become an engine supplier for the 2012 Indy Car Series campaign. Especially since we don’t know all of the ins ‘N outs of their engine supply deal, albeit Randy Bernard has had to occasionally press the Lotus concern for answers, as it now appears there’ll be five Loti badged entrants at St Pete.

The real 2.2-liter V-6 turbo ‘lump maker is Engine Developments Ltd, originally a partnership founded between JohnJHudd and Sir ‘JackBlack (Jack Brabham) in the early 1970’s - with this original engine concern having first set up doing work with Repco and Cosworth ‘lumps in Formula One, along with manufacturing an IndyCar winning engine with Bobby Rahal as its pilot at  Pocono, while also having produced both V-8 & V-10 Formula 1 variants during the late 1980’s to mid ‘90’s during the 3.5 & 3.0-liter eras.

Yet unfortunately it seems the common theme for all of Judd’s single seater powerplants seems to be a lack of propelling thee “B-I-G” teams, having run with Williams as a stop-gap measure, Brabham in its waning days and the Minnowesqe Leyton House March team to name just a few. While this season’s Indy Car teams are  currently Dragon, Dreyer & Reinbold, Bryan Herta and HVM with Mike Shank and possibly Eric Bachelart waiting in the wings; as with NO disrespect, but, these are theoretically not the teams one conjures up when thinking of Indy Cars powerhouses, eh?

Yet the Judd V-10 has been a winner in the American Le Mans Series and I still think le ‘Hamburgular (Sebastian Bourdais) and “Suitcase” Servia - Oh-Oh-Oh Oriel! Along with ‘TAG (Alex Tagliani) shouldn’t be counted out. Yet you’ve just gotta put this ‘lil “Privateer” engine concern vs. the might of Chevrolet and Honda into perspective, especially when unfairly comparing it against a three decades-plus F1 championship winning concern... So let’s give the “Lotus-by-Judd” Boyz a chance!

2012 F1 Rule Changes

Otay, so this came out awhile ago, and I’m certainly NOT gonna try recapping every detail rule change the FIA has implemented for the upcoming season, albeit the most noticeable change is apparently the squashed beak treatment the majority of the teams have flocked too in order to comply with the new minimum front nose height requirements. For a quick rundown on what’ll be different this year, you may wanna check out the following.

WMSC confirms F1 rule changes for 2012

Formula One Season Starts March 16-18

The upcoming action for 2012 with the F1 betting odds promises to be as exciting as ever with the opening race from Melbourne on March 16^th through 18^th as the Australian Grand Prix will take place.  The F1 season runs through November with the 20^th and final event taking place on November 23-25 in Saul Paulo with the Formula 1 Grande Premix Do Brasil 2012.

Last year’s Formula 1 champion Sebastian Vettel beat the F1 betting odds with a win in the Australian Grand Prix.  Vettel is from Germany and has 36 career podiums. Last year he drove for Red Bull and became the youngest double world champion in F1 history. 

Vettel has had an intense rivalry with teammate Mark Webber.  Webber is coming off a frustrating season in which he finished third in the standings and was outshone by Vettel.  Webber, who hails from New South Wales, won just one race last year but he has 30 career podiums.

Jenson Button from the United Kingdom finished 2^nd in the F1 standings last year driving for the famed McLaren team.  He has 43 podiums and 1 world championship. Last year he became McLaren’s top driver as he eclipsed teammate Lewis Hamilton with 3 wins and 9 podiums. Lewis Hamilton finished 5^th in the standings last year and has 90 podiums with 1 world championship.  Hamilton had three total wins last year.

Fernando Alonso from Spain finished 4^th in the F1 standings last year and has 73 career podiums with 2 world championships.  Alonso drives for Ferrari with teammate Felipe Massa and clearly outperformed Massa last year. He trailed Red Bull’s Mark Webber by just 1 point.  Massa finished 6^th overall in the standings last year and has 33 career podiums.  The Brazilian failed to make the podium last year which was his 10^th season in the circuit in which he had his 100^th start.

Michael Schumacher, who was the dominant win machine a decade ago, has 154 career podiums and 7 world championships.  Schumacher led marked improvement for the Mercedes team as his fourth place finish in Canada was the team’s best result in a year.  Schumacher retired after narrowly losing the title to Fernando Alonso but launched his comeback in 2010.  He made is fame with Ferrari and has found driving for Mercedes a more difficult challenge than anticipated.  His teammate Nico Rosberg finished 7^th, one place ahead of the legendary German...

Insuring a High-Speed Vehicle

Sports cars are built for performance. They're generally small, with sleek lines and fine details. They're built for driving, often with only two doors, and sometimes with only two seats. They are not passenger vehicles, where the focus is on the ride. Instead, they are designed to be fierce, fabulous, and most importantly fast.

Unfortunately, all those features - the very things that cause our sports coupe cravings in the first place - are the same factors that contribute to a higher cost of insurance. Actuaries and estimators look at our spiffy little speed demons and see oversized engines, non-existent crumple zones, and a dearth of safety features. Sure, some sports cars have front air bags, but since many of these cars are also convertibles, side-curtain airbags are a rarity. Even worse, the average sports car driver is more likely to engage in daring - even reckless - driving behavior, taking hairpin turns at top speeds because they can.

The good news is that it's still possible to reduce the cost of insuring a sports car. A few tips for obtaining the cheapest auto insurance available are:

Shop Online: Studies have shown that people who purchase their auto insurance online save up to 25% more than those who buy their policies the old fashioned way. Remember, also, to get multiple quotes and compare them line-by-line before committing to any one company.

Take a Defensive Driving Class: Not only will a hands-on defensive driving class help you learn to drive your sports car in a safer manner, it will also earn you a discount on your insurance. Most insurers discount policies up to 3% for up to three years, and when that three-year term expires, drivers can take another class and re-instate their discount.

Consider a Multi-Car Policy: You can save money on your auto insurance by bundling the coverage for your sports car with the coverage for any other cars in your family - even if one of those cars is a minivan, SUV or sedan. Most insurers will discount the less expensive car, but it's still cheaper to have two cars on one policy than maintain separate coverage. If you own a home, you can maximize your savings by also bundling your home insurance with your auto policy.

These are just three of the ways that the cost of insuring a high-speed vehicle can be reduced, but there are many others. The best advice when shopping for coverage is to ask the agent directly, "Are there any other discounts that apply to me?"

KVRT finally confirms BIG Names to its 2012 roster

While I know that many will most likely already know this; nonetheless - this is 'GURR-REAT!!! News for IndyCar, as 'Rubino, aka Rubens Barrichello will contest this year's entire Indy Car Season w/KV Racing Technology whilst chasing R.O.Y. (Rookie Of the Year) honours against Thy Leggy ‘Juan, (Katherine Legge) Joseph Newgarden and “Symone Pagenoe (Simon Pagenaud) whilst getting invaluable pointers from his brother TK “Follow-your-Schnoz” Kanaan. Just Hope Rubens doesn’t pay too much attention to EJ “What, Me Worry?” Viso’s antics; Hya!

Yet according to Curt Cavin last night on Trackside - Rubino won’t be running for Rookie Of the Year honours except for Indianapolis; Huh? I mean if reigning F1 Champion “Il Lione,” aka BLOODY ‘NIGE (Mansell) was a rookie, then how come Rubens wouldn’t be? Although it’ll make the rookie battle that much more interesting, right?

Hmm? Perhaps I'll haveda somebody else besides Danica to talk about now, eh? Oh Never Mind!

KVRT Confirms Barrichello, Kanaan

Monty’s Inferno...

So I know this is OLD news; but - have Y’all ever seen such a bizarre incident ever before? As in when Juan Pablo ‘MAC Montoya instantly spun out “N careened into a Jet-dryer truck - as it was FLAME ON; YIKES!

As the funniest part ‘bout all of this was that I’d just hung up the phone after the voice on the other end of the line had inquired: Is Juan Pablo still racing in ‘RASSCAR? As we were discussing how nobody’s names get mentioned anymore unless you’re either a Champion, i.e.; “SMOKE,” ‘JJ or Gordon; NO! NOT Robby “Dirtmann” Gordoun - thee other Gordon, uze know Pretty Boy Jeff. As I mentioned the only NON winners mentioned in the same brevity are Tuh Duh! The NEW Face of ‘RASSCAR; Danica-Danica-Danica, or Ironhead Junior; Err, ‘lil E, aka Dale Earnhart Jr.

Thus the irony was immense - sortta about as large as the ensuing Fireball that upon hanging up the telephone and returning to my dinner’s soothing soundtrack... I heard the TV Announcers go all Uh-flutter over that most amazing carnage, i.e.; ‘Monty’s Chebbie pinballing into an unexpecting Jet-dryer truck containing 200 gallons of Jet-grade kerosene; HOLY MARSHMELLOWS BATMAN!

Did somebody say Marshmallows; Err, Sprinkles? As the ensuing fireball and gushing of 200 gallons of jet fuel racing down the track’s 31-degree banked surface was indescribable... Actually having to agree with ‘Ol DW for once about it being the MOST bizarre thingy he’d ever witnessed!

And I did actually see the other oddity a zillion years ago, Y’all know when ‘Ol Super Mario, nee Mario Andretti decided to  RAM into a stationary safety truck parked alongside the wall with its lights  flashing at Detroit’s Belle Isle when I believe it was aiding none other then his son “Mikey?” As I’m told it was the 1991 event which Y’all can find upon Youtube if so desired.

Yet as we all know, the good news towards both of these incidents are that all parties involved - including a very shaken Jet-dryer truck driver, who was from Michigan International Speedway’s crew and a veteran of 24yrs were all ok...