Monday, May 4, 2020

IndyCar's e-sports Maladies

If Who's on First, and What's on Second, then who's the latest "Plug 'N Play" IndyCar Driver getting Kicked Kerbside?

Although I Applaud the fact that we've had some sort of "Live" Motor Racing to follow the past several weeks now, especially during this elongated Motor Racing "Off-season." Nonetheless as a longtime Legally Blind follower of Open Wheel Racing I've got a few complaints to make over the inaugural IndyCar i Racing Series season.

And Nah, I'm Not even gonna touch the low Hangin' Fruit of IndyCar's 'Ol Bait 'N Switcheroo regarding that Double Secret Non IndyCar Dream Track Finale. Which Sorry Folks, but Mother Speedway Ain't my idea of a Dream Track! Since the Nurburgring, Spa Francorchamps and Suzuka immediately spring to mind.

Whilst I get how Monza probably has a Negative Connotation associated with it, albeit Not the Circuit's Fault right now, but Kyle Larsson's... Yet Gory Hell! At least they could have  chosen either Circuit Gilles Villeneuve or Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez, Ci!

While it really shouldn't be as Gory Freakin' Difficult to find out the entire Entry list weekly as it has been for Mwah! As I'd like All of you to envision closing your eyes and trying to read the Flippin Miniaturized PDF Format entry list Document... Uhm-Huh, thought so, Times Up!

As Shame on IndyCar for being LAZY! And Not being willing to at the very least Post the Results following each week's virtual race outcome A la regular season results which are Screen Reader friendly; Can You Hear Me Now, IndyCar?

As Yeah, I've serenaded Y'all relentlessly how I've reverted back to thou services of 'Ol Lucy', my mature but reliable, (virtual) albeit Arse-Steamed Screen Reader Cooing in my ears for the unforeseeable future vs. "Zoey-the-Princess Warrior;"But I most Definitely Digress! As that's a Nutter' Story for another Day...

Alas, All I can Bloody surmise is that the PDF File Format Ain't Gory compatible; SIGH! With my Screen Reader since it won't recognize any of the text. And when I try going several Flipping extra Miles & try copying it into an MS Word Document from various websites, All it can read is the Header text:

April 18, 2020

 As that's All Lucy will Freakin' Say; err Read to me Folks; URGH! Which tends to make me think the Gory rest must be images since my screen reader doesn't read anythingy' else! And can only read Correctly Formatted OCR, nee Optical Character Recognition Text; Oh Never Mind!

Hence, I know it Don't matter what a Blind Open Wheel Racing Fan Thinks, but Seriously? Shouldn't every single IndyCar Fan be able to consume this information easily? Since I've been having to play Hunt 'N Peck via a myriad 'O Intrawoods websites to try and Decipher which drivers are competing weekly!

For instance, the Week 4 Twin Ring Motegi round left me having to simply guess who'd been Squeezed Out, Uhm left off Ye Merry-go-Round or couldn't find a Cockpit when thoust Musak' ended...

Since various Internetz' sources reported differing amount 'O Drivers joining the i Racing Circus. Thus beginning with the total of 31 contestants from Week 3, and the Addition of four New Drivers, I.e.; Kyle Bush, Helio Castroneves, Takuma Sato and Rinus VeeKay - My ryth-Muh-tick' sez' that equals 35, albeit it was announced only 33 Drivers would be competing.

And even when substituting Kyle Busch for Dale Earnhardt Jr. that only gets us to 34, which is further complicated by the fact that Rinus VeeKay was the third IndyCar Pilote at ECR, since Boss Fast Eddie' would be running in the No. 50 car in honour of his son's Baseball jersey number. Meaning I simply had to Arse-sume that Aussie James Davison of the Jonathan Byrd's concern got the Heave-Ho, Righto? Since James was one of the few names not mentioned during the broadcast.

While IndyCar should really be Embarrassed that the Only Website I could find with Screen reader Friendly information concerning Thar Mack Daddy-Oh' Virtual Mother Speedway race was a British Independent Formula 1 website named Race Fans, Bloody Hell IndyCar!

Also, the amount of technical difficulties with the sound during the broadcasts has been annoying! Although I found it Uber Funny during the Motegi Pre-amble when right on cue as 'Ol PT', nee Paul Tracy was talking 'bout how the massive increase of people upon Thee Internetz' is causing problems for everyone, Tracy's volume was way down and he could barely be heard initially... Which followed upon the Heels of (Townsend) T-Bell' guffawing 'bout how he'd been Arm-wrasslin' with his service provider to Bump Up his Broad band's speed!

And every week when the show's began, the background noise that emitted from Tracy's initial segments made me envision he must be sitting outside on his patio in Scottsdale, AZ? As I could never figure out why his remote location had so much background Whump-Whump' Noise interference.

And that's without even rehashing how Thars' barely a whisper to be heard regarding the 33 virtually silent Dallara IndyCar's On-screen!

As I kept thinking I must be watching; Err listening to a Formula E race? ZOINKS! Uhm, actually think that Formula E emits more noise from the tyres blisterin' Thar rubber thru Thee Corners along with the constant whine of Thee E-E-E-lectrics' Motors; Gasp!

As that concludes our first experiment with IndyCar virtual racing. Although it might be a good alternative, albeit in a truncated four weeks format during the normally Obnoxiously L-O-N-G IndyCar Off-season next year during the month of January? Although Thars' that Rolex 24 race they'd have to work around.

Hmm, may be a Mini 3 Race Series in early December before 'Ol St Nick arrives, comprising of One Oval and Road Course plus a "Mystery" Bonus track. It's just an Idea to keep us apeased during the ridiculously L-O-N-G' 328 Days Off-season Slumber; Oh Never Mind!