Tuesday, July 4, 2017

The Tomaso Files: Wiener-mobiles', Rhodys', Tweedy Birds and Crooked Shifters...

The famous Oscar Meyer Wiener' Mobile. (Source: Bing.com Images)


Ahem, what better time than some 'lil 'Ol Boom-Boom Holiday for another whimsical No Fenders Tomaso Files tome...

Ah, the good 'Ol Fourth Of July, when the nation goes all ga-ga; NO! Not Lady Gaga, but simply El Stupidio' ga-ga over lighting off countless Bazillions 'O BOOM-BOOM Fireworks!

"I want your Ugly,
I want your Disease,
I want your Everything,
As long as it's Free!"

VIDEO: Bad Romance

Nah! Ain't gonna go down that proverbial Rabbit Hole, 'bout Bad Romance's and "45" pledging to honour, obey & protect the Constitution... Like seriously? You're gonna deny 22m, as in Million Americans from having Medical Insurance? BRAVO! FANTASTICO!

Wiener Mobiles 'N Roadkill...
Uhm? What's Dat 'Ol Saying 'bout They Plump when Yuhs Cook 'em? Although I'd rather have been enjoying an authentic Road American Bratwurst at the Fan-tabulous Permanent Road Course circuit at Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin instead!

But in just Juan 'O My multiple clever tie-ins here, for some reason I found the timing over the recent saving of a vintage Wiener-mobile's news perfectly suited to today's Holiday, like pass Der Wiener schnitzel; Ja-Ja!


Whilst GURR-REAT! Minds think Ah-like! As funny how 'Ol Jay Leno's 2017 Season Kickoff (June 28th) featured a segment 'bout him driving the official Wiener mobile with one of its Top Dog chauffeurs, where Jay expertly Bump-Bump! 50-points deduction parallel parked the 28 Foot long Hot Dog machine...

And lookie Thar Mom, those Ain't NO Ball Park Franks, or Johnsonville Brats, but instead that's some fine lookin' Fricassee on the road's shoulder; Uhm-Uhm; "Tastes like Chicken!"


Pardon Mwah, Do You have any Gray Poupon?

My favourite new bird, the Brown Headed Cowbird. (Source: Bing.com Images)

Flora 'N Fawna
As this is No Fenders 'Offical Photographer and Huge Gurr-ranimalz' admirer CARPETS' favourite lore...

Whilst speakin' of Oregon, albeit not nearly as exotic as the various birds & flowers I've seen, heard and smelled on the Big Island of Hawaii. Nonetheless, I did enjoy getting to briefly "Meet 'N Greet" 'Dem two fine Bovines' pictured above, nee Harry and
Ellie May, albeit Thar Billygoatz' and Harry's non-deplume used far more frequently was Gawd Damn It Harry; Hya!



Whale', Thar was gonna be a picture of those famous Florencian Billy goat's, but apparently they kicked Blogger'com's ARSE! As the P.O.S. Blog Platform wouldn't let me upload their picture; URGH!

As I could go on 'N on 'bout the difficulties of using Blogger, which definitely AIN'T intended for Blind people, is overly NON-User Friendly with my Screen Reader; Oh Never Mind!

While spending several hours at our Host's Homestead, No Fenders F1 News Correspondent Jonathan took great delight in describing the various birds visiting their backyard's multitude 'O bird feeders.

As I was informed Thars' Brown Headed Cowbird's, blue Tree Swallow's. Also Crested Blue-Jay's, House Sparrow's and Rock Pigeon's to name just a few of the various species on-hand.

Nah, won't regale Yuhs 'bout learning of the elusive Bush Tit' upon an earlier trek to Oregon...

Crooked Shifters V Parking Brakes...
As Crooked Shifters could easily pertain to Uhm, I Dunno... Oh Never Mind!

As I definitely got a chuckle from a few stories from my Daily News Trawl upon Thy NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone service's access to The Seattle Times Oddities' section, where I go for some daily levity!

Thus I found the following two stories quite amusing, like Y'all heard the one 'bout the Crook who couldn't elude the Police during their low speed chase! As the wood-bee Burglar, not to be Cornfuzed with our nearby Whidbey Island; Hya!

As the would-be thief was unable to elude the Police after absconding  with a Flatbed hauler, as he didn't know how to shift it's gears; NO Kidding!

As the very sedate 16-mile chase took place topping out under 30mph, the entire time stuck in first gear before the Ken worth's "Tranny" (Transmission) gave up the Ghost, and Done Blown Up!


And lastly, the fact that a Rookie Bus Driver complained of having a really Bad Day! Made me burst out in laughter! As seriously? Forgetting to set the parking brake upon your empty bus which then rolls downhill is the understatement of having a Bad Day; STEEE-RIKE!  Hya!


As why does A-L-L of this Tomfoolery make me think of that long forgotten TV Show Hill Street Blues, where the frumpy Sergeant sez' Somme-thun' to the effect of;

"Let's All be Safe Out There..."

Bad Romance Song lyrics by:
Lady Gaga
Song: Bad Romance
Album: The Fame Monster
Year: 2009

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