Monday, May 23, 2022

INDY 500: 2021 Pre-race Build-up

As I’m not sure about this Christmas in May stuff, but It is The Most Wonderful Time, Oh barf!


Yeah I know, we’re All supposed to still be in rapture over Scotty “Thee Iceman 2.0” Dixon’s record setting 2022 Indy 500 Pole winning run, but that’s Not how I roll here in Nofendersville Kiddoes!


And the old-ER’ I get, the more the yearly running of the Indianapolis 500 seemingly Grips Me, even if I can No longer see anything Onscreen, since have I reminded Y’all lately that I’m Blind? And thus I get the Nonstop Disappointment of having No Fans in the Stands last year, but I haven’t been able to “See” the Stands for Uhm gulp, Decades now if I’m being Honest. But I definitely Get It!


As it’s funny to Mwah how I still revel over the memory of doing my really Bad impromptu “Icky shuffle” Takuma Sato Victory Dance in 2017 when he’d Defeated Hulio! Or Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ellen describing listening to the end of the 2019 “who’s It gonna Be?” Simon, Alexander? Radio Broadcast from the local Grocery Outlet parking lot when visiting us in Florence!


As I’ll Admit freely that this year I was totally Rootin’ for Ye “Iceman 2.0” to win the Pole vs. my new Number One IndyCar Villin Colton Big Shot’ Herta! Since I just cannot stand the Ad Nausea lovefest the Media, and particularly the NBC Sports Booth Boyz’ have deluged us with in their nonstop feverish Slobberfest ever since his arrival in IndyCar’s, YUCK!


Yet that said, I have to give some begrudging praise for Herta’s post congratulatory Hugging of Scott Dixon after being Beaten for Pole by an index finger and thumb…


But I suppose I root against Colton for many reasons, including I Kiss the Bricks Blogger Patty Nolan, the winner of whom she refered to as the King of IndyCar Bloggers George Phillips yearly Oilpressure Indy 500 Trivia contest this year! Good Job Patty since I couldn’t even anser one of his trivia questions, Hya! But I digress…


As Patty noted how it just appears everything’s been too “Easy” for Colton, and almost handed to him on a Silver Platter, the latter sentiments being mine. As I was actually rooting for Rinus VeeKay to stun the Paddock and the world by “Stealing” the Pole in the Pumpkin Polka-dotted Bitcoin Mobile!, Hya! Just Gory long as it wasn’t Colton or Hulio! Or Ryan Hunter-Reay, Oh Never Mind! But like ‘Ol r’, aka Robin Miller once said: “Hate’s Good!”


As this year I’ve found myself having a voracious Appetite for All things Indianapolis 500 on Ye Web via the small cadre ‘O IndyCar bloggers I follow regularly, typically beginning with Ye Oldest IndyCar blogger Geo. Phillips of Oilpressure Fame, Hya! Then in a revolving order I go from Mike Silver’s The Pit Window,  Raymond Hando’s For The Love of Indy, Paul Dalby’s The Field of 33 and Patty Nolan’s I Kiss the Bricks, Whew! Along with seeing what’s the latest on


Damn! Why did just typing All of those names above make me think of ‘Ol Chuck Berry’s song Riding Around with No Particular Place to Go spring to Mind?


Having watched the latest Two Sites Unite video the day before Carb Day, a collabouration between George Phillips and Paul Dalby. As George definitely plays the “Straight Man” of this duo, and enjoys throwing in the occasional “That’s Right” ‘Ol Kurty’ Cavin Tag-line phrase…


As George has been Beating his Bass Drum purdy’ loudly  over his theory on Team Penske’s recent demise coinciding with Roger Penske’s leaving the Pit-box.


 And while I wouldn’t disagree somewhat in general with that assessment,

I’ll spin that topic off for another rambling No Fenders tome some other day, year or I Dunno? Since this one’s already pretty meandering, Righto?


Since after Team Penske’s Dismal Qualie’ weekend, as I still can’t wrap my Noggin’ round DJ WillyP’, aka Will Power being in the Last Row Shootout, Crikeys!


Does the massive temperature drop of Carb Day have something to do with All four of the Penske Boyz’ being in the Top-7 of the Day’s Timesheet. Or more to do with turning down that Artificial Pump You Up” Boost increase? With Simon Pagenaud (26th) second, Josef Newgarden (21st) third, Power )32nd) P6 and rookie Scott McLaughlin (17th) P7.


Or how about Andretti Autosport’s Herta (2nd) way down in Bloody 28th! And Alexander Rossi (P10) in 13th, one place behind Max Chilton, Huh? Remember Him Y’all?


Or Ed Carpenter Racing’s (ECR) VeeKay (3rd) P31 and the Boss Fast Eddie’ (4th) in 30th. As the only thing that stayed the same was Dixon being Quickest, continuing his trend of having simply Owned this Month ‘O May!


Although I do have to admit I chuckled quite a bit after the Nauseating Blow My Freakin’ Ear-drums Out Gladiator Theme musak’ quit playing and Mike “Sunday Night football’s” Terico welcomed us to a rainy Carb Day from Mother Speedway! And Danica Patrick noted how Dixon’s like a fine wine, who simply get’s better with Age…


But then again, that’s why we go racing, as I type this with just some 18 hours to go, as once again I eagerly await the actual race beginning! But not All of the Bullshit Pre-race Banter, Err Hype upon Ye Peacock, Uhm Big NBC. Yuhs know, Nothing But Commercials!


Since even though I try to “Support” IndyCar’s television partner by typically “watching,” Err listening to every bit I can, i.e.; Tape Delayed Qualifying and live Races every race weekend. This year I’m gonna hopefully be able to listen to D-Squared’, (Donald Davidson) Mark Gravelly’ James, Davey Hamilton, Nicky Salt’ Yeoman, Jake The Riddler’ Query and Michael Screech’ Young on The Fan’s WFNI 1075AM Radio Broadcast via Zed Internets instead.


Since I just cannot fathom stomaching 4 hours of Queen Danica, Jimmie Vanilla’ Johnson, ‘lil Ironhead’ (Dale Earnhardt, Jr.) Steve “I Knows Everything” Letarte and especially Rutledge “Bake Me A Cake” Wood’s Uber Insightfulness, SPEW!


As I still say this is nothing more than an Infomercial primer’ for the upcoming RASSCAR’ Roundy round season on NBC, BARF!


Not to mention I’ve never been a Fan of Marty Snidely Whiplash! Snyder or Kevin Lee’s Reading from a Queue Card demeanour. OOPS, what’s that ‘bout Not saying Anything if you Don’t Uhm? Whilst as always, I’ll be hoping for an Upset winner Sunday! Along with Jim Cornelison’s very enjoyable rendition of Back Home Again…


And I just asked No Fenders Offical’ Photographer Carpets’ for his Dark Horse candidates for the race. His first two choices were Graham Rahal and Pietro Fittipaldi, albeit he said he didn’t want Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing to win two years in-a-row. But like I’ve said before, that hasn’t happened since Helio Castroneves and Team Penske did so nearly two decades ago. Actually Penske had a Three-peat ‘O victories between 2001-03. And only Nine Bonafied Rookies have ever won, excluding Ray Harroun, when the entire field was contesting the inaugural 500 in 1911.


Dave further added Rinus VeeKay as a Dark Horse, and then sent me three other names: Jack Harvey, Santino ferrucci and Marco Andretti who he said he was rooting for…