Although My Spidey Senses were Ah-tinglin’ for All
the Wrong reasons!
So Thar’s Nothin’ Quite as Red, White ‘N blue
than the Indianapolis 500, Righto? Uhm, think that’s supposed to be another
Punch Drunk Boom boom Holiday, Eh?
As guess I’ll get this out of the way El
Pronto! Since I’ve been categorized on Ye Blogosphere as a Naysayer, and have
apparently long been a Card carrying Member of les Miserables’
For those who still read No Fenders and Don’t
know, I have Never been a Fan of Hulio’s! And I’ve felt this way forever, since
I can no longer even discern when I began “Hating” Him! But it stretches back
to at least 2009, when pretty certain I was one of the few who Booed when he
won his third Indianapolis 500 which occurred when attending my Debutante Indy
500 Naturally! Which just so happened to be my One and Only time I was granted IMS
Media Credentials, which I scribbled ‘bout in another typically Uber L-O-N-G No
Fenders tome…
http://www.nofenders.net/2009/06/surviving-indy-lap-1-50.html
And know I was the Only one who Booed him
loudly at the 2010 Edmonton IndyCar race, ‘cause Kuhnucks’ Don’t Boo people
since they’re so G-Damn Polite, Hya!
Along with still reveling over telling DJ
WillyP’ Beat this Guy when pointing towards Castroneves during the 2014 IndyCar
Autograph session at Sonoma, where the three Team Penske drivers, Juan Pablo
Montoya, Helio Castroneves and Will Power sat together…
Hey, like Ye late, ‘Ol r’, thee Curmudgeon of
Indy Cars Robin Miller used to say: “Hate’s good!”
Obviously this year’s Indianapolis 500 was turned
on it’s proverbial Head when the Hapless Stefan Stork’ Wilson spun entering
Pitlane for his first Pitstop on lap 34? And shuzamm! All three of my choices
for winner of this year’s 105th running were instantly taken out of
the equation! As Scott Dixon and Alexander Rossi both ran Out of Fuel! Going
One lap down after struggling to restart their engines. Whilst TK’
Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan also had to pit for emergency fuel service and
needed to drop to the end of the grid afterwards.
As you’ve gotta feel for Stefan, since this can
happen to anyone, as we later witnessed Team Penske’s Will Power doing his own
pirouette on Pitlane, along with Simona de Silvestro, so it happens!
As I know it will
be of little, Err No solace for Stefan, but I was glad to hear IndyStar’s
Motorsports Reporter Nathan Browne note Wilson’s Pit Accident was due to a
front Brake failure, which is more than I can say for either of Power’s or
Simona’s “Ballet” moves…
Oh Whale’, now it’s Anybody’s race, Eh? And was
it just Mwah? But it seemed like a frenetic race the entire event! With All of
the Young Turks wishing to establish their position in the Pecking order. With the
likes of 20yr old Rinus VeeKay leading 32-laps, 29yr old Noblesville native
Conor Daly leading a race high 40-laps, 24yr old Alex Palou 32-laps, 22yr old
Pato O’ward 17 and so on and so on…
As I have to say that I got more ‘N more
Despondant as it seemed like somebody had said Queue the Jaws theme music with
Hulio lurking nearer and nearer the front of the pack, Spew!As I must have been
one of the only persons Rootin’ loudly at my Confuzers speakers for Alex Palou
to get that Son ‘O Bitch in my Bestest Buford T. Justice impersonation…
Thus, now that it’s All a Distant Nightmare,
Err memory. Think I turned Off the IndyCar Radio Broadcast immediately after
the Chequered Flag flew upon Castroneves, since I did Not want to partake or
Hear any of Castroneves I’m the Greatest soliloquies. Or the crowd going
Bonkers over His Spiderman Climb! And Yeah, I get it, History was made Blah
Blah Blah! Since pretty sure I went ‘N opened another Beer in order to Drown my
Sorrows…
Aftermath
If you were paying Attenzione to 2022’s
Indianapolis 500 Qualifying and the vaunted Barf! “Drive for Five,” then you
know that Hulio’ had what He described as “A Code Brown” moment! As believe it
was the final lap of His first Qualifying run when He had a Big Wiggle and let
up upon the loud Pedal! With this lap’s speed being a “Sedate” 212mph, giving
the Brazilian a four lap average of a “Pedestrian” 225-plus mph; Since I can No
longer remember if He went out again? Hey, you try remembering everythingy’
that Happened over the two days of Qualifying!
But Helio must have, since He ultimately netted
a lowly 27th starting position for the 106th Indianapolis
500, i.e.; Outside of Row 9 at 229.630mph.
Although according to Geo. Phillips of Oilpressure Fame, Castroneves worst qualifying position at Mother Speedway is P28 in the 2020 Indy 500, where He finished 11th.
