Friday, May 6, 2022

INDYCAR: Who’ll Break Out of Their Slump First?

C’mon Down, Who’ll be the Next Contestant to win another IndyCar race?


Awhile ago now, I was listening to those two Wild ‘n Crazy Guys on another Hilarious One Take Only videos, where Geo. Phillips Good Friend John McLallen whom I’ve taken to calling the President of the Graham Rahal Fan Club to Thyself for years now was saying Great Things once again about Graham; Parkay, Butter?


As this got me wondering if Graham Rahal will ever win another IndyCar race? Or who’ll get there first, initially just between Graham and Alexander Rossi, which seemed to obvious. So I’ve widened the field a bit further.


Roulette Choices

Graham Rahal, #15 Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing/Honda. Last Win: 6/4/17, Belle Isle Race-2; Alexander Rossi, #27 Andretti Autosport/Honda. Last Win: 6/23/19, Road America; Simon Pagenaud, #60 Meyer Shank Racing/Honda. Last Win: 7/17/20, Iowa Race-1; Will Power, #12 Team Penske/Chevrolet. Last Win: 8/14/21, Indy Road Corse-2, or Scott Dixon, #9 Chip Ganassi Racing/Honda. Last Win: 5/1/21, Texas Motor Speedway Race-1.


Fast approaching four years now, providing He Doesn’t win at either Indianapolis event this May, where He finished a Disappointing third in 2020 behind RLLR teammate Takuma Sato, winner of that year’s Indy 500. I’ve lost track of how many close calls Graham Rahal’s had towards winning his first race since sweeping the Double Header Belle Isle weekend Wayback in Gory 2017! Although Graham would still probably claim He was on path to win last year’s Indianapolis 500 before somebody Didn’t get one of his Flinstone tyres lug nuts secured exiting Pitlane and Whamoe!


We All know about the Oft used expression of the Dreaded Cartoon Anvil continuously raining Down upon Alexander Rossi! Since who’d Ah-Thunk It would be nearly three years now since Rossi stood Atop the Podium. Although seemingly in control of the 2021 St Petersburg Season Finale Me Thinks? Rossi uncharacteristically Smacked the Wall whilst leading! As it’s pretty weird having to think I’ve gotta Hope for BillyBob BrazenHeartz’, nee Brian Barnhart, Rossi’s Strategist to get one right!


It now seems a really, really long time since Simone’, nee Pageantry’, aka Simon Pagenaud came from last to first in that Iowa Double Header’s first race when still driving for El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske. As the $64k Questione is can the Frenchman win for somebody other than Team Penske?


Hard to believe that scotty thee “Iceman 2.0” Dixon’s been stuck on IndyCar victory #51 for a year now. As surely Dixon will eclipse SuperMario’, nee Mario Andretti’s 52 career wins, second on the All-time IndyCar wins roster. Or has Dixon finally Plateaued? Although it seems Hard to believe that Scott’s Done winning for thoust Cheepster’, aka Chip Ganassi.


Ditto for DJWillyP’, aka Will Power who’s also chasing Mario, albeit for a different category, i.e.; Most Career IndyCar Pole positions, which Andretti Holds at 67. Whilst Power’s been stuck on 63 for awhile now, and the Competizione’s Not going to get any easier!


As Power currently ranks as fifth Overall for most IndyCar victories at 40, just two behind Michael Andretti in fourth. With his last coming at one of His Playgrounds, since Will has a knack for winning on Mother Speedway’s Road Corse…


Other Candidates

Jack Harvey, #45 Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing/Honda; Romain Grosjean, #28 Andretti Autosport/Honda; Helio Castroneves, #06 Meyer Shank Racing/Honda. Last Win: 5/30/21, Indianapolis 500, or Rinus VeeKay, #21 Ed Carpenter Racing/Chevrolet. Last Win: 5/15/21, Indy GP. (Road Corse)


Let’s get the Burning Questione, Err low Hanging Fruit outta the way el Pronto! No, Hulio’ won’t win his fifth Indianapolis 500 this year, or ever! Since the Odds are definitely Against Hem, especially since a much younger Castroneves was the last driver to win twice consecutively twenty years ago in 2001-02 for Team Penske. And with No Disrespect to MSR, they Ain’t No Team Penske!


Of this Quartet, you’d have to say so far, albeit it’s early going. RLLR’s prized Offseason acquisition Jack Harvey has been the most Disappointing!


Coming off another Runner-up finish at Long Beach, you’d have to Arse-sume that Andretti Autosport’s Romain Grosjean is the driver most poised to not only “Break His Duck” for his maiden IndyCar W’, but be the first of these drivers to stand on the Podium’s Top Step!


Fast Eddie’s latest IndyCar Winner, Rinus VeeKay, who seems to have returned to pre-Collar Bone  Breakage form, is the defending May’s Indy GP Road Corse winner, having scored his maiden IndyCar win for Ed Carpenter Racing at the Speedway year ago, where obviously He’ll be Hoping to repeat.


Thus if I had to Bet? (Prior to Barber Motorsports Park) I’d say it’ll be Romain Grosjean to win first out of these nine drivers, as He seems most poised, albeit VeeKay almost ruined my story at Ye Barbers last Sunday! With the Dutchman seemingly poised to lead Wire to Wire from Pole in alabama…


Although the sentimentalist in Mwah wants Rossi to finally see another Chequered Flag first! But the momentum at Mikey A’s race team seems to have unfortunately swung completely away from Rossi.

And after another letdown  in Sunday’s race when faultering to an unremarkable P9, and running out of Petrol on the final lap! It now seems like Rossi’s simply treading water at Mikey A’s team until season’s end…


Whilst I’d say the Field’s wide Open for the rest of these drivers, albeit I Don’t think either of boobie Ruble’s Boyz’ will be winning anytime soon, especially if Graham’s busy playing Pinball with his Bosom Buddy Grosjean!


As now I’d guess it’ll be a victorious DJWillyP’ on Mother Speedway’s road corse, but We’ll See…