Wednesday, April 1, 2020

E-Sports: An Enjoyable Introduction

Long forgotten sketch of those Indy 500 Winning Blue Crown Spark Plug Special racecars that I've saved forever on Ye Trusty 'Ol Confuzer Hardrive. (Source: Images)
As Who’d Ah-Thunk’ It! That Dem’ Good ‘Ol Roundy-Round TaxicabLand Drivers would be leadin’ Duh Charge, Yeehaw!

As it now seems a really, really long time ago when we were kickin' off the Roundy-Round season at DayToner'. Where Y'all know... You May be A Redneck if You Drive your limousine on the Racetrack!

And it's Not Nice to try Foolin' Mother Nature, which Y'all may remember Rained Heavily upon someone's parade as Thee GURR-Randiest Grand Marshall ever at Daytona International Speedway, who'd left the track before the race went Green!

Since if I remember correctly, it was only the second time ever in the storied DayToner' 500's History to be Delayed due to precipitation in its 62 running's; But I Digress...

I am Not a RASSCAR Fan, Nor do I follow 'em or watch Thar races, with the exception of the Daytona 500, albeit not every year. And thus it Pains me greatly to acknowledge how my introduction to the rapidly expanding world of E Sports conspired, along with Holy shit! Am I gonna really say it? NASCAR Get's It!

So I got a phone call from No Fenders Arizona Correspondent Snowbyrd MJ' about   a recent conversation with her longtime 85yr old friend Joy, who wanted her to tell me 'bout the upcoming NASCAR i Racing E Invitational race which I knew Nothin' about!

As Joy's the one who informed me about the Blue Crown Spark Plug Special Race Team Wayback in thou summer of '08 and facilitated my interviewing Dean Jackson, whose father Curtis was the Team's Owner - for the following story which first appeared on No Fenders in 2009 before being needed to be re-posted 3yrs later when Obliterated All of the corresponding images I'd used in the Mega five part Story...

As that phone call occurred on Saturday and now cognizant of said event, as Y'all know what's Ah-Comin', SHUHZAMM!

Trolling my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone service, for humour Sunday morning I was seeing what the TV Sports World was filling for content just some 9mins prior to the RASSCAR' E Invitational kicking off on Fox Sports 1, (FS1( and Arse-sumedly since I was Desperate for some real "live" motor racing I decided to give it a Gander.

Now some are saying they won't watch it 'cause it's just grown men playing a video game on television. But I Tells Yuhs What! Taking that into perspective I found the whole event quite entertaining and thoroughly enjoyed it!

Although he seems to be playin' the Country Bumpkin', I did enjoy Clint boywer's quick witted Quip 'bout how Jimmy Johnson missed the start of the race 'cause he needed a Restroom Break; Hya! And Thar were other countless comedic bits as I found Jeffrey Pretty Boy Floyd' Gordon quite entertaining as part of the "TV Booth" announce Crew.

Even Funnier yet was just like a real NASCAR Race, where Racin's rubbin' and Cautions breed Cautions! I was quite Amused how Thar were Nine Cautions causing the TV Broadcast to G-O 20+ minutes long. Not to mention apparently 'Ol Jimmy Johnson playin' Bing-Bing-Bing! Ricochet Rabbit; Hya!

Even more Amazing for Mwah, since I'm Blind, was the fact that I could actually see the Blobs' of Colours Racin' Carz' Zoom-Zooming by in the typical RASSCAR Pack thru the virtual Homestead Miami racetrack's corners. For which I'd Arse-sume means that the Graphics were Superb.

And the sounds were quite accurate to what you'd hear in a real honest-to-goodness Taxicab Bomber, with quite realistic droning of a Hard Workin' V-8 in its preferred Power-band, Upshifts, easing off the throttle in the corners, etc.

While it was pretty startling to hear that Denny Hamlin's i Racing set-up ran him a cool 40k!

As about my only Drawback was Mike Joy's typical NASCAR is the Greatest Thingy' since Sliced Bread by Pioneering this technology. Making it sound like only NASCAR Racetracks are laser scanned, for which obviously Ain't So! As just think of what the Formula 1 scanned tracks utilized by the 10 F1 Teams looks like! Not to mention the just contested IndyCar i-Race...

and Speakin' of Formula 1, it was an article I'd stumbled into upon that spawned my whole thought process on this when Bumpin' into the forthcoming E Grand Prix and it's Who's who of Open Wheel Racing Stars. But Sadly it weren't Hyped at All and I Don't do the Streaming thingy Kiddies; Ack!

As seriously Formula 1 and Indy Cars, Shame On You and your corresponding TV Networks, who are obviously currently Starved for Fresh Content.

Like NBC Sports, CNBC, MSNBC or USA Networks, and ESPN2, ESPNews or ESPN U cannot find a 90mins Airtime Slot a la FS1 did for its E-Invitational virtual race?

As I enjoyed Marshall Pruett's take upon the matter the most, which is somewhat Scary how he wrote about what I was thinking following watching; err listenin' to the RASSCAR Virtual Race. That F1, IndyCar and Sports Cars are Blowing a Golden Opportunity!

As Marshall notes how nearly a million viewers tuned-in to FS1's TV Broadcast and NASCAR knows how to cater to All of its Audiences, especially those of us who are either 'Ol School Television Viewers, or those of us who prefer the ease of simply pushing the TV's Remote button and Wallah!

Pruett most succinctly notes how NASCAR knows better than to Orphan it's Older Population of Fans, which IndyCar would be wise to comprehend! As there's got to be a way to cater to everybody, especially when every Stinkin' Gory Eyeball's Needed right now!

As it's pretty Sad to Mwah that I wasn't willing to try attempting to figure out how to join IndyCar's live Stream of their first i Racing event, since I find's website so G-DAMN Screen Reader Unfriendly! And will instead tune-in to the remaining NASCAR, Oh My Freakin' Gawd!; GASP i-Races whilst ah-waitin' the return of Indy Cars and Formula 1 on television, for which I personally think the season's over already, but what do I know?

Whilst you can check out the remainder of the ever Mushrooming E Sports virtual Racing landscape's Schedule below...

And this No Fenders Post Ain't intended as an April Fool's Joke, since I feel that none are warranted this year for obvious reasons. Stay Safe Y'all!