Monday, November 25, 2019

F1: Yumps' abound at COTA!



As what's that song 'bout Watch Out for those Trees?

Ah, thou life 'O luxury of being Ye Basement Dwelling Blogger! Hey! Turn the Gory lights back On; Hya! Which is why I'm just posting this now...

As I spent Friday loungin' about 'N watching; Err listening to both of Friday's Free Practice sessions from the Circuit Of The Americas, nee COTA.

Where not only was it unseasonably cool, with the day's first practice starting with a temperature of 48deg-f before warming up during FP2.

Whilst the topic of the day was the track's ultra bumpiness, for which per Tipicali, Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton was heard via his In-car radio proclaiming This is the Bumpiest Track in the World! To which Sky Sports Pundit ANT', nee Anthony Davidson Quipped back before Hamilton's comment ended, No it's Not, Sebring is!


Hmm? CoInky-dense' that one of the track's loudest critics over the Bumps being Unacceptable is starting from Pitlane after being penalized for missing the Weigh-bridge.

Since Don't recall 'lil Syd Viddle being as Harshly Penalized when he tore-up the Weigh-bridge's scales when he was having another Hissy Fit in Brazil last year

Next, I thought the 10:55AM Pacific F1 Programme listed on ESPNews was going to be Qualie', but instead I enjoyed the rare treat of watching Formula One's FP3 Saturday Third Practice session instead.

As the three Announcers; Err Sky Sports F1 Presenters 'N Pundits spent several minutes covering Sergio Perez's severe punishment. Noting that not only had the Mexican Driver Not stopped at the Weigh-bridge, apparently missing the lights, and continued to his Pit Stall. But then the Racing Point mechanics fitted some, but not All four Pirelli "P-Zero" tyres to Sergio's racecar, which is a definite No-No!

Therefore for these various rules infringements, the Race Stewards were Forced to impose the Harshest Penalty available per the FIA Rulebook, which both former Formula 1 Drivers ANT' and Paul di Resta dually noted were Overly Harsh. Along with David Kroft concurring, and All three suggesting the rules needed to be tweaked.

As apparently, although Vettel's temper-tantrum Antics seem far more Egregious! Once again getting Off with a simple Slap upon his wrist, Uhm, being Fined. The Application of the Rules seems to continue being very inconsistent...


Meanwhile, back to Friday's TV coverage, where Pitlane Reporter and Funnyman Ted Kravitz opened his monologue 'bout it perhaps being (Max) Verstappen's Redemption, saying was it Idaho, Ohio? Where Shaw shank Redemption was? Which led into Kroftie', nee David Kroft saying it's in Maine, it's a Steven King Horror thing. To which ANT' chortled back it's scary enough being with Kroftie'; Botta-Boom!

Yet the Horror Show has to be the track's Nasty Bumps, as the tarmac's steadily gotten worse each year, and the F1 Drivers all noted it had gotten way worse from just one year ago, with the worst spots being Turns 9, 12 and 19, along with a nasty bump exiting Pitlane! While Turn 5 was also causing Headaches for the F1 Drivers.

And I say Yumps 'cause David Kroft kept mumbling on 'bout the correct pronunciation for Houston, which immediately reminded Mwah of my past IndyCar Villain Hulio's losing a Series title when crashing hard over a Bump in the Houston Reliant Park's Stadium parking lot.

Otay, think may be Castroneves just toasted his transmission; Err Gearbox as can't really remember, other than Scott Dixon went on to capture his then second IndyCar Series Championship in 2013 thanks to HULIO's Houston retirement.

Not to mention that I believe that's the Germanic vernacular for what it's fame Nordschliefe, nee Nurburgring's full of over its 175+ corners, Ja Volt!

And the frivolity continued with Kravitz doing an in-depth bit upon DannyRic's "One Off" Helmet livery honouring the Aggies', with a nicely done Texas Longhorns themed Helmet.

To which at least Kravitz didn't try pretending to know what the Number 12 on the motif represented. Saying may be it's for Texas being the 12th State? Or 12th Legislative District? As I groaned NO!

Since I find it Funny I know the answer, since I Ain't a Stick 'n Ball Fan, but have lived in the Land of Thee 12s' forever!

So Wrongo David Kroft! It Ain't for the number of College Conference Teams, but as the Seattle Seahawks know. Since pretty sure they had to pay Texas for the rights to continue using the No. 12, which is synonymous with the 12th Man being The Fans! As our Americre' Football has 11 players on the Gridiron...

And speakin' of Americre', our Formula 1 Team Haas certainly didn't have a great day. As once again it was Romain Grosjean into the Barriers Friday! ruining his new Front wing which Sky Sports Pundit Karun Cowboy' Chandhok noted looks eerily similar to Scuderia Ferrari's Front wing from the beginning of the season.

As I totally Fail to understand why the Haas F1 Team chose to keep Romain another year instead of signing Nico Hulkenberg? As what type 'O Kryptonite for Herr Goonter' does the Frenchman keep in his firesuit's pockets? Since Grosjean just seems to have Peaked a longtime ago now, and I just Don't buy this continuity Babble...


And then the wheels started falling off la Scuderia's wagon, becoming worse 'N worse as the weekend wore on. Since first on Friday, a throttle sensor apparently Done Packed Up! On Chuck LuhCluck's (Charles Leclerc) Ferrari due to those Nasty Yumps!

Which apparently wasn't the only issue Ferrari was surrounded by, since Arch Nemesis Red bull sought a technical clarification upon what it felt was a Rules loophole that la Scuderia was exploiting?


Then during Saturday's final practice session, Leclerc immediately stopped his chariot after reporting something's wrong with the engine! Forcing the team to scramble to install a new PU, nee Power Unit prior to Qualifying.

But at least the Monegasque didn't have to take a 10-place Grid Penalty, since Ferrari was able to install an Older Spec PU, which afterwards, the Team would claim was the reason for Leclerc's lack of optimum Horsepower during the race.

Since Team Principal Mattia Binotto and Leclerc both took exception to Max Verstappen's public comments 'bout Cheating...


Oh Yeah, almost forgot. I spent the majority of the race Yelling at the Telescreen for Valtteri Bottas to Not let his most esteemed team-mate Golden Child win the Bloody race!

For which although the Finn did, nobody will remember this since Lewis Hamilton claimed his sixth F1 Driver World Championship by finishing runner-up, with Red Bull Bad Boy Verstappen rounding out the Austin F1 Podium.

Leclerc trundled home P4, behind his Bosom buddy Max, with the Dutch Lightning Rod's team-mate Alexander Albon rounding out the Top-5 finishers, whilst Vettel retired with a broken rear suspension. Which apparently Ain't Nothin' compared to his contrataumpts at Sao Paolo...

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