Thursday, December 20, 2018

The 2018 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

Daniel Ricciardo - 2018 Singapore Grand Prix, RV Press. (Image source:
Watch out Kiddies', they're Back! It's time for another rousing No Fenders rendition of Tomaso's personal choices for the Formula 1 lads...

2018 F1 World Champion: Lewis Hamilton
2018 Constructors Champion: Mercedes
2018 Monaco Grand Prix: Daniel Ricciardo

1. Driver of The Year
Winner: Daniel Ricciardo
Yeah, I know the answer's Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton, but I'm not a fan of his, and probably never will be; but I digress...

And even though Y'all might say that Danny Ric' had way too many DNF's to garner this award, you'd have to say he had Horrendous luck upon his side. But I find his driving to be absolutely superb, especially when he puts on a Passing Clinique!

Ricciardo probably should have had three W's instead of just two, as he definitely had the better 'O Maximus Hothead', nee Max Verstappen, his Hot-headed Niederlander' team-mate who Turfed Him Off at Baku, when Daniel had gotten the better of him!

But his victories at Shanghai and Monaco were masterful, especially  his performance of holding off the superior Mercs' on the Principality's Streets, especially with a stricken racecar way down on Horsepower due to a Battery issue...

Other Choices
The "Usual suspects," a la Golden Child', , 'lil Sid Viddle', nee Seb Vettel, et al...

2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year
This is a Tie for Mwah, since although I grew to tolerate the season's long bungled, regurgitated laconic Sky sports TV Broadcasts on thou myriad 'O ESPN Channels. Nevertheless, I wasn't overly impressed by this letdown in Stateside television coverage.

And although I don't know if the Headline was taken out of context? But it surely worked! Infuriating my Dander towards the ultimately Pompous attitude of Herr Wolff. As Toto drove me Barking Mad with his insanely STUPID Handling of Valtteri Bottas, most notably with the repugnant order to Move Over for Golden Child in Russia.

3. Race of The Year
Winner: U.S. Grand Prix
How can you argue against thee "Iceman," nee Kimi Raikkonen's fine performance of finally finishing P1 after 113-tries! As it was a very gripping race  for Mwah, yelling at the Telescreen for Kimi to not falter the last 20-laps...

Other Choices
Chinese Grand Prix, Monaco, Austria and Brazil...

4. Most Improved Team of the Year
Winner: Renault
Although Americres' Haas F1 would be a worthy candidate, and they've got a somewhat valid point regarding their disdain over Force; Err Racing Point force India's claiming Constructors prize money after becoming a new team. But the way they've gone about this annoys me. Not to mention Herr Guenther's (Steiner) bluster over Renault.

thus, I'm giving the nod to le Reggie', nee Renault for their move Up the Charts as 'Ol Casey Kasem would say; Hya! Up from P6 to fourth Overall in this year's F1 Constructors Standings, largely upon thee shoulders of "The Incredible Hulkster's," aka Nico Hulkenberg finishing "Best of the Rest," P7 in the Driver points Colum.

5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year
Winner: Williams
My first choice was gonna be McLaren, but Team Willy's performance this year is far more disappointing! As I've got NO Clue over why the once mighty Grove based outfit's basically Tanked. But obviously it's gotta be Aerodynamically induced, especially since they've got Mercedes PU's, albeit Customer power units, but! Those PU's haven't held back Force India...

6. Most Improved Driver of the Year
Winner: Marcus Ericsson
Funny how arguably the Swede' would have his best season the year he gets tossed out in favour of Ferrari protégé Antonio Giovinazzi. Although he was definitely outclassed by rookie team-mate Charles Leclerc, but then again that's expected for somebody Ferrari bound...

7. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year
Winner: Stoffel Vandoorne
Unfortunately, the former GP2 Champion really never got a decent chance in Formula 1, first having to sit out a year's time before being thrown to the Wolves in a recalcitrant McLaren with woeful Hondre' power. And then being pitted against Fernando Alonso his entire F1 career; YIKES!

But it seems odd that he never once out qualified Alonso, not to mention usually finishing behind the Spaniard, which isn't really a fair measuring stick. As it'll be interesting to see how he progresses  in Formula E this coming season.

8. Most Impressive Driver of The Year
Winner: Charles Leclerc
The HotSchue' Monegasque lad seems like a very special driver, who certainly wrung the neck out of his Sauber chassis this year. Making it perform far better than expected.

Leclerc's pedigree is definitely suited for F1 Stardom, as a former GP3 and F2 Champion during his rookie campaigns.

And it'll be most interesting to see how he handles the extra pressure of being a Scuderia Ferrari driver, especially up against Sebastian Vettel, who the team's molded around.

As will Leclerc be forced to mimic Raikkonen's Domestique' role in the second Ferrari next year?

9. Performer of The Year
Winner: Max Verstappen
Love him or Hate him, you cannot say that Max Dutchboy' Verstappen, who I'm now calling Maximus Hothead instead is a very talented driver, who after a somewhat rocky first half of the year, Hunkered Down and really performed exceptionally well during the season's second half.

Max ended up winning twice this season, albeit looking like a lock to win his third race at Mexico City before tanglin' with his Bosom buddy, former F3 rival Esteban Ocon, and had to settle for an Uber Disappointing runner-up finish, before sulking off to the F1 "Weighbridge" to have a friendly Chat with esteban...

10. Rookie of The Year
Winner: Charles Leclerc
Otay, so this really wasn't a competition this year, especially with the only other rookie competitor being Russia's S-Squared', nee Sergey Sirotkin in the woeful Williams.

And I Don't remember where it was, other than towards the end of the Season. Perhaps in the ultra thin air of Mexico City, Ci?

But Leclerc's true character for Mwah was revealed in that Qualie' session, when he was failing to make the Top-10 Cut with the team telling him to Box-Box-Box. But instead he said I'll go another lap and Wallah! He improved to P7 to once again advance to the Pole Shootout's Q3 Qualie' session, which earned him the admiration of Martin Billybob' Brundle during the TV Broadcast No less...