Crikeys Mates, those sure are Funny soundin'
Sportscasters!
Otay, so it's a New Ballgame, but I for one,
wasn't overly impressed by the "New & Improved" Sky Sports F1 TV
coverage we were shown here Stateside...
As the Biggest Blunder of the weekend had to
be the Safety Blitz thrown upon us All Ah-waitin' eagerly the Pre-race Show;
Hut-Hut, Omaha!
Having tuned into the appropriate ESPN2 TV
Channel upon my Obscenely Overpriced comca$t Cable TV service
some 10mins early, after having gotten Sacked the night before with the Wacky
10:55PM Pacific Qualie' Show's start time. I waited 'N waited with the sound
Muted, as the Pundits were All Ah-blather' over Stick 'N Ball Sports; BARF!
Then I just sat there smirking incredulously
as 9:30PM Pacific came 'N went. As Thar weren't even any Tweedy Birds piped in
onto Thy Telescreen! As the picture of Albert Park was Frozen in Perpetuity
between 9:30-32PM.
Then a hurriedly called Audible saw a single BMW
Commercial shown, with minimal gain.
Returning to the Huddle, the Camera Eye
showed various pictures of Royal Albert Park's grounds, with just various
sundry background noises only, including the whir of ratchets...
Next, the Offensive Coordinator called for another
raft 'O Commercials for 4mins with No Huddles! With the On-the-Grid F1
Programme getting Sacked!
Next, the Home team Blindly tried switching
the play at the line to NO avail, as not even could the Referee's whistle be
heard, just more Crickets and then;; SPEW! At 9:38PM Pacific Some Stick 'N Ball
TV Announcers Screamed Welcome to E60; Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!
Then around 9:53PM Pacific, from the other
end 'O Tomaso Manor I heard the muted tones of Bagpipes; Huh? As I strolled out
to the living room to hear Bagpipes playing some tune, which may or may not
have been Waltzing Matilda?
Since it was a Bagpipes only rendition playing a tribute for the departed Ron
Walker, before the singing of the Australian National Anthem at 9:55PM
Pacific...
And then suddenly we were hearing Martin
BillyBob' Brundle & Nico Rosberg on the Grid, while somebody named Simon
& Damon Hill Prattled on during the overly Disjointed Pre-race build-up.
And thanks to Liberty Media moving the race
Start times to 10mins after the Hour, the lights didn't G-O Out 'til 10:13PM
Pacific, which if you're gonna do this, then Bloody Hell! Give us the quarter
of our racing Airtime lost on the back end of the programme; Buggers!
Although the Announcers; Err Presenters were
fine, I found the entire race broadcast overly Disjointed and Sloppy! As the
random weaving in 'N out in mid-sentence for the Obligatory Commercials Stateside
seemed very Slipshod.
Not to mention I felt totally confused after
coming back from Commercial No. 33 to hear that the lead of the race had
changed; Huh? What Virtual Safety Car? And then the typical playing of Golden
Child Whining on his In-Car radio to his Mercedes engineer; Boo-Hoo-Hoo, Poor
Lewis!
And then as soon as Mark Handlebarz' Webber
wrapped the Post-race Podium interview it was THUMP! As we were hit Blindside
by a Safety Blitz' that simply took the air out of Kroftie' (David Kroft) mid-sentence!
Like All of us here Stateside, watching our first
ever Sky sports F1 TV Broadcast knew who any of the Presenters, Commentators
and Pundits were? As I only ever heard Kroft announce his and Brundle's name
once during the entire night's Discombobulated broadcast...
