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The NASTY Roush TA Mustang that Tommy Kendall
kicked ARSE in! Scoring eleven consecutive W's en route to the 1997 Trans Am
title. (The Tomaso Collection)
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
Hard to believe that this story's been
Fermentin' in Nofendersville for nearly ten Bloody years! Having originally
written I-T the summer of Twenty-oh-six
just before this very BLOB' went Viral; YIKES! Then I finished tidying up the
story in the Month 'O May, 2007...
Yet in deference to my having just visited
America's Car Museum this past October, who were celebrating BMW's Centennial,
this story seems aptly suited...
Last summer prior to
starting my blog No Fenders, (September,
2006) I seemed to have spend a lot more time staring
at Ye 'Telescreen.” And one Saturday evening I was in search of some
entertainment and stumbled upon an episode of The Speed Channel’s “Test Drive” with
Tommy Kendall.
Y'all recall Dem
Halcyon Dazes 'O Duh Speed Channel; Uhm, think I-T was simply known as SPEED in
its final iteration. Before the BASTARDOES at FOX decided we needed
another FRIGGIN' "Stick 'N Ball" Sports channel; BARF!
Hence, I had to watch
Tommy Kendall “schlepping-it” in Germany,
Austria, Seattle and back east somewhere. First up was
the re-run of AMG,
(Test Drive) where
Klaus Ludwig hammers an AMG SL65 V-12 twin turbo past 300kph on the Autobahn!
The SL65 has 604bhp… More horsepower then a Lamborghini Murcelago and more
torque then… Definitely not your everyday four door sedan!
Yeah Kendall’s
job really SUCKS!!!
Kendall
had to road test ALL of AMG’s current product line-up in der Fatherland… Along
with riding in the DTM “Taxi,” a two seater race car being chauffeured by his
boyhood idol Klaus Ludwig: 3 time 24hrs of Le Mans winner & 5 time DTM champion.
Ludwig also spent nine years in America's IMSA;
racing such vehicles as the A-L-L Mighty Porsche 962 Panzerwagon! Yeah, some
dudes named Ludwig & Rahal used to drive for Bayside Motorsports.
Which if Y'all cannot
guess, I'm kinda partial to the
sodden, gray Pacific Northwest. As Bayside Motorsports, or as I know I-T:
Bayside Disposal Racing was one 'O my fondest Home-team IndyCar outfits, which I
scribbled 'bout labourisly in homage to last year's Magnanimous 100th running
of some 'lil Oval race!
The half hour AMG Test Drive program was
followed by a “special long-play” 1hr BMW M-Sport (Test Drive) episode.
Kendall started in Germany once again. This time Tommy was behind the wheel of a
Z4 M Coupe chasing Hans Stuck in an M6. Stuck pushed the seven speed M6 towards
terminal velocity along the Autobahn calling out gears and mph, having to back
off for traffic at a paltry 192+ mph; SHEISA!
After a visit inside the private BMW
Motorsport restoration museum, peaking at past famous racing cars. They played
“follow the leader” to Stuck’s home town in Austria, Kitsbul.
"Ja, those are ALL 2-3
million dollar houses!"
Herr Stuck told Kendall. Standing on the top
of a mountain peak, with beautiful scenery behind them, Kendall
asked Stuck to yodel us into a commercial break.
As I still fondly
recall TK'; not sure which Juan' came first? TK' Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan or
Tommy Kendall?
But recall Kendall
stumping for his "Good Buddy" Oriol "Suitcase" Servia
getting a ride during an interview with Ye 'Ol Windbag, nee Dave Despain on
Wind Tunnel years ago; during the early Reunification Phase Me Thinks.
As there may have
even been jokes 'bout TK's "Pool-boy" as Servia flitted by in the
background during the Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain TK' segment...
Next Kendall
joined ex-Seattleite Kim Wolfkill, a Road & Track Magazine
Editor to play tag in the Z4 M Roadster. (Convertible) The Z4 utilizes the old
M3 straight six “lump,” pumping out 330bhp. After introducing Wolfkill with a
sunny backdrop of Seattle’s
downtown waterfront skyline and a quick buzz along the waterfront. They set off
for the shores of Lake Washington.
The show wrapped up with Kendall chasing Joey
Hand in identical M5 coupe’s during a PTG test day in Birmingham? Tom Milner’s Prototype Technology
Group has been the US
“factory” BMW race team for the past 11yrs… While Hand chased Kendall in a blue
M5, Joey commented that he wished they both had matching silver cars, Kendall chortled so there’s NO tattle-tells? (“Racin is
Rubbin”)
Bill Auberlen BLEW past both cars in the PTG
M5 race car. Then Kendall chatted up Auberlen
who’s now been a “factory” BMW driver for 10yrs.
Ironically during last year’s ALMS race at
Road America, which followed
my viewing of Kendall’s Test Drive by one week. Quite a bit of
airtime was spent on Auberlen leading the GT2 class against faster rivals,
sharing driving duties with Hand… They got passed by the more “aero slippery”
sinister looking black Ferrari F430 and later by the GT2 class winning #31
Porsche 911 GT3R. Yet Auberlen & Hand finished second in class. This year
PTG has switched to campaigning Panoz Esparante's in the Grand American race
series.
As DON'T even get me started on FUCKING comca$t
NOT being able to provide me Fox Sports Douche' (FS2) or MAV TV on my exorbitantly
Overpriced Cable TV service Ja Volt!
EPILOGUE...
Tommy Kendall was one of the BADEST BAD
ARSES' in Tintops during the late 1980's up to the Y2K Millennium. Having
become the youngest ever IMSA champion at age 18 upon winning the first of his
three consecutive GTU (Under 2.0-litre) titles between 1986-88 in a Mazda RX7!
TK' was the first driver to ever win two SCCA
championships in a single season when claiming GTU and Firestone Firehawk
crowns in '86, before graduating to the bigger, NASTIER Trans Am machines in
1989 after decimating the GTU class.
And although my earliest memory of Kendall
centers round him driving that somewhat awkward looking Chebbie' Intrepid GTP
chassis, which I most notably recall him having a nasty Shunt in 1991; breaking
feet, legs and multiple bones in a head-on crash against the Armco at the famed
Watkins Glen road course; YOUCH!
Instead my fondest memories of TK' come from
witnessing him kicking ARSE aboard that iconic narly BAD ARSE Roush Trans Am Ford
Mustang at my forlorned Home-track, nee Portland International Raceway during
the mid-1990's.
As Tommy first captured the GTS crown in '93
- along with a class victory at the 24hrs of Daytona, his first season with
Roush Racing. Before ultimately claiming four Trans Am titles between 1990-97,
the latter three consecutively from 1995-97 for thee "Cat in The
Hat," nee Jack Roush.
With '97 being his finest Trans Am season,
winning eleven consecutive races! Smashing the late Mark Donohue's record of
eight, which stood for nearly three decades, before at age 31, Kendall simply
walked away, albeit with pronounced limp from motor racing...
Thus TK' slipped away from my radar screen,
before he popped up again, now as a colour commentator for CART/IndyCar, and
then doing that SPEED Test Drive Show, which was the impetus of this story.
Although Tommy
made quite a Stir after losing a bet with Queen Danica, with Miss Patrick
leading the lanky Californian down the Pitlane wearing a Doggie Collar and
being pulled by a leash!
Although Kendall made a fulltime return to
the cockpit in '04, when he finished as runner-up to his boss Paul GOOFY!
Gentilozzi in their Rocketsports Racing Trans Am Jaguar XJR's, I'd given up on
CART/Champ Car for a few years and therefore had zero clue 'bout Kendall's
racing resurgence.
Afterwards, TK' sporadically showed up for
Sports Cars events along with his television career before at age 45, nearly sixteen
years after walking away from full time racing, he won a Shoot-out to become
the Riley led Dodge Viper GTR's fourth driver, making his comeback for the 2013
AMLS season.
The year was tough for Tommy, but was
highlighted by his second outing at Circuit de la Sarthe in the crowd pleasing
Viper's, thirteen years after his debut at Le Mans...
