Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Lamenting Motorsports – Part 1

So it’s that time again... And although it feels like Groundhog Day, that ain’t I-T! NOPE, it’s none other than EEE EEK! E ‘lection (election) time; SIGH... As why are those really corny ‘Lectric Shave commercials coming to mind right now, eh?

Thus, I’ve been sitting on this for an ultra long time now, originally not planning to post it; yet Mary Ellen said why are you afraid to publish it? So what if its NOT a motor racing story per sei, and thus, in honour of this years STUPENDOUS election, I’ve decided to rescue this ‘Mega four-part harmony; Err 4-part story from the nebulous grip of the Death Star known here fondly as the NoFenderz Wormhole Vortex...

 Adelaide, 2011
In a distant galaxy far, far, away - where foreign dignitaries run scared whilst trying to appease Lord Bernard by kissing his feet and worshiping the ground he walks upon... A  wandering ‘vurd Botcherer named Tomaso was freely roaming the city confines of Melbourne, Australia aided mightily by his excellent Sheppard Jake ‘V8...

Yeah, I know I should feel immensely privileged to have just been fortuitous enough to circumnavigate the Globe this past Saint Pattie’s Day and partake in not one but two different racing series. (Having attended my debutant ‘Aussie V8 Supercars race in Adelaide before attending the Australian GP...) Yet unfortunately I must confess that I have been feeling very conflicted about this ever since having purchased my airplane tickets; not over the great company I got to revel in, but the current geopolitical state of “Mesopotamia” we’re still stuck in, most notably the horrendous events occurring in the tiny Island Kingdom known as Bahrain.

About three weeks out from my departure – I was thinking I’d get a spiffy new F1 Constructors T-shirt to model at Albert Park, which has become my Modus Operandi for “Looking sharp” these days. Purusing my speedgear catalog, I’d originally wanted to get some Lotus Racing (Team Lotus 2.0) garb, since as Y’all may know, I’ve become a ‘Mega Fernandes/Gascoyne supporter vs. ‘BaharBoy and the Group Lotus Gorillas, but I digress. As I have NO idea what the latest status upon their legal squabble is...

(‘whale, actually we know that it was settled in Fernandez favour, whom Group Lotus appeased by giving him a stake in the Malaysian National Airlines in order to revert to just one Lotus Team on the grid in 2012, with Fernandez now running his squad as Caterham instead...)

(Although we now know that ‘DizzyD (Dany Bahar) has since been fired and subsequently sued the new owners of Group Lotus for $11m while alleging wrongful termination - as I have NO idea how that lawsuit’s working out Mr. Bahar? Which hopefully the Judges will throw out before going to trial...)

Thus I was overly unimpressed by the lone (2011) Lotus Racing T-shirt offering on hand, which looked way too simpleton to me; GASP! Simply trying to make a buck? As it seems a little more creativity could have been put into it. And thus, my heir apparent choice was a swoopy looking McLaren T-shirt. Yet the only problem with this was that it had Vodafone emblazoned in large letters upon the shirts front. And yeah, I know they’re the team’s title sponsor, but you see; at the moment I’m miffed with Vodafone for their complicity upon turning off their 28.2-million mobile subscriber’s service in Egypt during the uprising against Hosni Mubarak! (Although I understand this was premeditated by the Egyptian Government who also blocked France’s 30-million Telecom SA subscribers from access too...)

Yet in fact this feeling ran so deep that I couldn’t consciously make myself post the really cool/nutty Vodafone ticket sales promo sent to the No Fenders mailbox, which features Lewis and Jenson primping for the camera in a funny video episode. (And all of this was before we even get to Bahrain’s uprising...)


Yet on top of this I simply cannot bring myself to purchasing said Team McLaren T-Shirt which would find me ‘Pimping for Vodafone and thus instead will go retro with my mothballed (mothballs?) Benetton World Champions tee instead. (‘Whale, actually, you’re welcome IMS, as I sported my ’09 Indy 500 polo instead...)

But what I’m feeling most conflicted about is having attended the Cx 500 supercars race on the very same day when instead I should have been in Washington DC alongside Clyde & Karl passively protesting The Obama Regime’s continuing occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq; on the Anniversary of the latest Iraq invasion – March 19, 2003.

Typically I would at least be in Downtown Seattle at Westlake Centre participating in the yearly ANTI-WAR Rally/Demonstration – not to mention listening to my favourite political DJ Mike Malloy’s yearly playing of the 8-9 minute soundtrack of the  Shock ‘N Awe Bombardment that fateful day!

And I’m assuming Clyde & Karl’s weekend in the Nation’s Capitol transpired much better then the time before, when we traveled from Austin to Washington DC in 48hrs nonstop for said Anti-War Rally ‘Circa 2008, only to learn that it had been cancelled when we arrived; SHEISA!

Thus it seems very contradictory to be enjoying the sights, sounds and smells associated with burning rubber and race petrol – which appears to be at the very heart of our continued occupation of Iraq. Not to mention just think what Mr. Obama could do by spending just a third of his record $725-billion fiscal 2011 appropriation; (surpassing his record ’09 Military expenditure...) yeah B as in BILLION (annual) Pentagon Defense Budget on the social Infrastructure of the United States instead...


And that’s NOT even mentioning the President’s total absence from Madison, Wisconsin and the people who duly elected him – as Barack Hussein Obama was busy watching a basketball game the same night that Dirty-pool politics were being carried out in the Wisconsin State Rotunda, as the President, on our dime can fly all the way to Egypt to promote Democracy to the public but can’t make a Pitstop in Madison – WTF?

Hence, perhaps you can see how I’m having a hard time being overly enthused by Motorsports at the moment, eh?


Why do we build the Wall?
We build the Wall to keep us Free
We build the Wall to keep out the Enemy
That’s why we build the Wall...

But who do we call the Enemy?
The Enemy is Poverty
Which is why we build the Wall
To keep us Free

But how does the Wall keep out the Enemy?
By keeping those who have from those who have not
Because they want what we have
That’s why we build the Wall to keep out the Enemy
We build the Wall to keep us Free...
(Lyrics: Anais Mitchell: Hadestown, 2010)


To continue reading, see; Lamenting Motorsports – Part 2