Monday, February 14, 2011

Ode to DannaCar

Toe to toeDancing very slowBarely breathingAlmost comatose…
Wall to wallPeople hypnotizedAnd they're stepping lightlyHanging on her every move each night in RaptureBack to backSacrailiacSpineless movementAnd a wild attackFace to faceSadly solitudeAnd it's finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping
In ‘DannaCar Land!“Flavour Flav HMS Monogram told me everybody's highDJ's spinning' are saving' my mindFlash is Fast, Flash is coolJacke Vanilla sez fast, Flashe' no do
And you try to stop
((Watching’ MAC Montoya, Sam Hornish & ALL those Open Wheel DEFECTORS!)
Just go out to the parking lotGet in your car and you drive real far
Away from the track!
After you drive all night, you see a bright flashing light
And it comes right down and lands on the groundAnd out pops a Girl in a shiny sequin bathing suit from RASSCAR!
And you try to run but She's got a gunAnd She shoots you dead and “She eats your headAnd then you're in the Girl from RASSCAR!
You go out at night, eatin' Racecars
You eat Marches, Reynard’s, Swift’s and Panoz’s too…
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' Single SeatersThen, when there's no more Racecars leftYou go out at night and eat up Open Wheel Racing series instead
Like Champ Car and the IRL
While ‘Ol timers desperately cling to fantasies of a renaissance…

Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to manDance toe to toeDon't move to slow, 'cause the Girl from RASSCAR is cutting thru
(Excuse me HULIO!)

But Mrs. Hospenthal is through with the competition
‘cause She's been eatin' a ton ‘O snicker barsYeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hallShe's gonna eat 'em allRapture…

Be pureTake a tour; through the sewerDon't strain your brain
Just check out that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue instead!
And then say it real fast
Boog-itee- Boog-itee- Boog-itee!
Paint a train, cause you’ll be singing' in the rain
If dare ain’t some ‘Tin Tops on real soonI say stop throwin those mountain dew cans at Pretty Boy Floyd
Junior Nation!
Just be good ‘ol boyzs and cheer for ‘dannaCar instead!Well now you see what you want to be
Just like Mike, who’s trying to pump up ‘Dem Spin-Car ratings on TV - 'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR won't eat Candy bars when She’s PEAK-ing
In the bright lights…

As now She's gone back up to MARS Where She won't have a hassle with the human race ‘cause now its ‘DannaLand!
And you hip-hop, and you don't stopJust blast off, sure shot - 'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR stopped eatin' RacecarsAnd now She only devours IndyCar
get up; ‘Cause She’s gone HOLLYWOOD!
(Original lyrics: Blondie; Rapture)