Friday, October 15, 2010

Here comes the Germans

Having just missed out upon another Oktoberfest – Ja Volt! (Sept. 18 – Oct. 3, 2010) What better time then to squeeze in another long forgotten story flounderin’ round in another No Fenders Wormhole, eh?

Thus, with the surprising return of the TERMINATOR, nee Herr Schumacher, (at the beginning of the year) along with “Quick Nick’s” (Heidfeld) signing at the reconstituted Sauber F1 Team for the remainder of the season, we’ll have a staggering six Formel Ein Deutschland “Hot-Schue’s” on the grid in 2010. (For a second year in-a-row...) Or to put it in an even more illuminating light; we’ll see One Quarter (25%) of the Gran Primo Piloto’s coming from Der Fatherland, Ja-Ja!

(1) Sebastian Vettel - No. 5: Red Bull-Renault
Although Master ‘Zebb has gone to somewhat great pains to make sure Y’all DON’T call him “Baby Schuey…” Nevertheless Michael’s prodigy appears to be the next “Voonderkin” to claim the Formula One spotlight, as I’d consider him currently the Numero Uno German ‘Shue in F1 along with becoming a future Vruld Champion.

(2) Nico Rosberg - No. 4: MERCEDES GP
This seems apparent as Herr Schumacher continues struggling on with his Mercedes MGP W01 chassis and has been thoroughly Outshone by the younger Nico Rosberg, who’s Out qualified ‘N Outraced Michael 12-3 (as of Singapore) this season, as all that’s lacking from Nico’s CV is a maiden Grand Prix victory...

(3) Michael Schumacher - No. 3: MERCEDES GP
Whale, I’d definitely haveda say that DER TERMINATOR’s return has so far to date been a BUST! As Michael at multiple times has seemed DESPERATE to keep the young ‘Whippersnapperz at bay... Not to mention a DISPICABLE SQUEEZE JOB put upon his former No. 2, Err Wingman ‘Rubino (Barrichello) at Hungary this summer! Hmm? Did Y’all think he’d forget his devious ways!

Yet, I suppose its worth mentioning that no less then reigning World Champion ‘JENSE (Button) has pointed out how the Mercedes chassis was an evolution of the BRAWN (“BeeGee”) BGP01 which was designed to suit the Englishman’s ultra-smooth style and NOT ‘Schuey’s Go karting rough ‘N tussle methods...

(4) Timo Glock - No. 24: Virgin Racing-Cosworth
I’m ranking The Glockster above the next two simply for the fact that he’s driving a brand new Racecar, NOT to mention a lowly Virgin that is a 100% CFD affair and the Team couldn’t even design the Fuel Tank to the right dimensions to ensure full race distances at the beginning of the season...

(5) Nick Heidfeld - No. 22: Sauber-Ferrari
Funny enough, this is actually ‘Quick Nick’s third job of the year; having begun as the Mercedes GP Test & Reserve Driver, which offers virtually NO driving duties these days... Before he leapt at the chance to be the Pirelli rubber tester... And then did a “Swap-ola” with Pedro De la Rosa in order to return to a Formula 1 race seat, albeit for the final five races of 2010. Which I’m assuming Nick’s hoping to use as a Springboard to catch another Team’s interest for next year now that Sauber has announced the signing of 20yr old Mexican F1 Rookie Sergio Perez as Kamui Kobayashi’s teammate in 2011.

F1: Perez A Boost For Austin Race Says Hellmund

(6) Adrian Sutil - No. 14: Force India-Mercedes
Although ‘YO ADRIAN’s been performing pretty well this season, and is tipped as a possible replacement for the Mighty ‘Schuey at Mercedes in 2011... If the Scuttlebutt’s true? Sutil seems to still be somewhat erratic and mistake-prone...

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