Saturday, March 29, 2008

Miami vice

Well it’s time to begin the much ballyhooed 2008 Indy Car World Series racing season as there will actually be a “FULL” grid taking the green flag at Homestead with 24 of the 26 cars entered, competing underneath the lights.

And although I was gonna write a snappy story revolving around that much hyped 1980’s wunder-series Miami Vice, I just don’t think I can work it out… I mean Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon certainly fits the casting role for Don Johnson’s Sonny Crocket figure, but somehow I imagine Scott Dixon would be less than thrilled to be cast in Phillip Michael Thomas’s Tub’s character, while Tony George certainly isn’t tough enough to play Edward James Olmas Castillo bad boy captain role! Although the Princess and Milka would fit in nicely as the two females on the hit show, eh?

Meanwhile Press Dawg and My Name is IRL have been having great fun over the Newman Haas Lanigan car numbering choice of the half baked Oh-2 & Oh-6 that Buckshot Wilson and Darrell Rahhaul Junior are set to run this season in the Indee Racin' League… Thus, I just cannot resist piling on. As it now appears that the IRL’s new theme song this season will be a clever adaptation of Whalen Jenning’s Dukes ‘O Hazard song. You know the “Juan,” C’mon everyone, y’all sing along!

Dukes Of Hazard Theme Song(Original lyrics by Whalen Jennings)
Just some good ol' boys (and girls) Never meanin' no harm, Beats all you've never saw, been in trouble with Tony George since the day they was born.Straight'nin' the curve, Flat'nin' the hills.Someday the moutain might get 'em,
(Princess don’t feel too good today!)But the long arms ‘O the Cheepster never will.Makin' their way, The only way they know how, That's just a little bit more than Brian Barnhart will allow,

Just those good ol' boys, Wouldn't change if they could, Fightin' Tony’s system like a true pair ‘O modern day Robin Hoods…
(Hmm? So which “Juan” is the boy Wanderer and who’s Batman?)

As I think Wheldon & Dixon are much more suited for the roles of Luke ‘N bo Duke, with Danny Boy playing the role ‘O Bo and Scotty playing Luke, while the Princess and Milka will have a good ‘ol Bitch Slap Cat Fight over who gets to play Daisy. I was gonna cast Ashley Judd in the role since she’s quite good at the requisite wet T-Shirt portion of the show, but I hear she’s busy getting her nails done with Jeffery “Pretty Boyzs” Gordon’s new wife…

Playing the villainous Boss Hawg is none other than Kevin Kalkhoven while Tony George seems adept at the Roscoe P. Coltrane role…

And to think it’s a Dawning of a new era in Open Wheel Racing, although I hear dat Tony George has been busy rehearsing his lines for his upcoming negotiation with Emperor Bernardo over the possible return of F1 to the Speedway as sources in Terra Haute claim that Tony’s been watchin’ a ton ‘O Rodney Dangerfield outtakes…

But seriously folks, on the subject of car numbers, I believe that the #12 is currently being used by Tomas Scheckter and thus NHL would need to ponder the use of #’s 16 and 22 which I believe are currently available? Nah, instead why don’t they go for the numbers 98 and 99? You know the ages of the team’s two elder statesmen.

I mean what’s next? The numbers 6.9 and 9.5? Or 007 and 009? NOPE! The latter two are already taken by the Aston Martin team in the Le Mans series. So, what do you think Newman Haas Lanigan’s two entries should be numbered?

I Am Clabber-gasted!As for the accompanying video clip… Sorry, but I just had to do it! After seeing Hazard’s star John Schneider sing an excellent version of the hit song upon starting the frenzied bidding for one of the last remaining General Lee’s, which fetched a RIDICULOUS WINNING BID OF $200,000 at this year’s Barret Jackson…

I’d take this song ANY DAY OVER the current “I AM INDY!” Now let’s get ready to see the Princess and Milka try to out-do each other for best wall smack…

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