Damn! Why Did I Wait so long to Go Back to
Portland?
A Fortnight before this year’s IndyCar race at
Portland, following the rain delayed final Oval race at Gateway, Claudio’, my former Austin F1 Sherpa asked me
if I wanted to go to this year’s Grand Prix of Portland? After I’d “Passed” on
my last opportunity four years ago…
Thus I Never thought I’d be going back to Portland
International Raceway, (PIR) especially since Not setting foot upon the
property since the final Champ Car race held Wayback on June 10, 2007!
Fifteen Years Ago, I scribbled the following
Yarn here upon No Fenders about my last visit to Portland International Raceway
in a Post titled Riding the Rails.
http://www.nofenders.net/2007/06/riding-rails.html
And then some 10 years ago, I was still
wistfully Opining for IndyCar to return to the Rose City in a Mega’ Five-part
No Fenders tomes titled Ode to Portland: Can it already be 5-Years Gone?
http://www.nofenders.net/2012/06/ode-to-portland-can-it-already-be-5.html
As even then, it was somewhat “sketchy”
flunderin’ my way round PIR as a single Blind person, but now, No Freakin’ Way!
As I still Chucled over a Food Vendor complimenting me on my fine “Walking
Stick,” my White Cane 15 years ago. Uhm, Here’s Your Sign!
Hence I’ve read that the seating capacity’s
been massively reduced, now to only 30,000 Attendance and that the Grandstands
are All Temporary Structures!
Leading me to Arse-sume’ that my past, yearly Seating
location back in the Good ‘Ol Dazes of what will forever be known as the
Budweiser/G.I. Joes 200 CART/PPG World Series West Grandstand No longer exists?
For which it seemed
that my favourite IndyCar Radio Pit Reporter Ryan Marin confirmed this when He
was busy calling the action Saturday morning during Practice and Qualifying, when
covering Turns 4-7 by saying that it was now “Prime” RV Camping “Real Estate.”
As this was back when the IndyCar race was Portland’s
largest single day event with some 65,000-plus Fans in Attendance on Father’s
Day! Now making me just Shake my Head over why IndyCar cannot find a local, Title
Sponsor, Seriously?
Whilst for the final three years of Chump Carz’,
i.e.; Champ Car World Series circa 2005-07 I sat Solo three rows from the Top of
a Grandstand just prior to the Festival Curve, where I can still remember
wafting clouds of Tyre ‘N Brake Smoke rising Skywards from another Game ‘O chicken
over who’ll be the last of the Great, late Brakers?
Sunday morning, rising early. Frick, I was awake
an Hour before my Alarm clock was set to go off some Gory two Hours prior to
leaving, Urgh! As my Chariot, a 2012 “Arrest Me” Red Ford Mustang picked me up
at 8:15AM. As my “Driver” Colin & I set off for our four Hour drive to Portland
after stopping for Petrol. Although we must have made really good time, since even
after making one Pitstop at a Rest Area, and then a second one at a nearby
Portland Sonic Fast food restaurant. I believe we parked in a PIR Parking lot
that charged 20 Smackeroos’ ($20) around High Noon.
Then we Hopped on one of the School Shuttle Busses
that was packed full, which must have been High School busses since my knees
were only touching the seat ahead, after a very awkward instruction of how to
get into my seat while Holding up the line! Before riding to the Main Gate to
ultimately meet “Bonnie & Clyde,” Err Claudio’, Nelie and Kevin, who’d come
down from Tacoma for the race…
Standing in line at the Box Office/Will Call,
there seemed to be a very Deserate Scalper vainly trying to unload His vast
amount ‘O tickets as it creeped closer to the Green Flag flying, for which
there were No Takers! And as we stepped up to the window and had our tickets
handed to us, after my phone rang with Nelie saying She could see us in line. As
we turned to go, I Heard the somewhat muted roar of the Indy Cars driving
Ontrack to begin their warm-up laps!
Showing our tickets and having my Backpack politely
searched, as I’d brought only the bare essentials, albeit I Didn’t need the
windbreaker I’d been told to bring along! Since it was an Uber warm day for Mwah!
Being accustomed to our moderate Coast climate. I was glad I’d added a second
bottle of water, as Colin remarked on the way Home that it had been 89-91 degrees
in Portland! Although there was a decent breeze as I dripped sweat…
While I’m Happy
that the Racetrack seems to have Relaxed some of their previous restrictions, i.e.;
allowing personal coolers with Food and Water into the Track, along with
portable “Camping” Seats. Since I can still recall us Sneaking in Food ‘N
Beverages at the West End Grandstands Wayback’ when…
Thus I Heard the roar of 25 Snarling, Angry “Murder
Hornet” Killer Wasps go Shrieking down the front Straight for the Green flag
just prior to our stepping inside the confines of the racetrack! And after putting
in earplugs, our Quintet trundled off to our first seating area, sitting in a
Grandstand, albeit obviously I had Zero Clue where we were? Although apparently
we were in the East End Grandstands? Since I was later told we were sitting behind
the Pits with some sorta Chicane. Which I’d Arse-sume would be the Turns
9-11/12 Comples.
As Nelie Helped me up the stairs and to our
seats, before telling me She couldn’t figure out if those were the leaders or
the Back markers going by one at a time? As there seemed to be three cars already
on their own.
Asking Her what colours they were? She told me
that one car was completely Green, which I quickly surmised was Jimmie Johnson,
since I’d read previously on Mike Silver’s The Pit Window, that was the best
way to describe Johnson’s livery this weekend. So I Quicky surmised these were
the Tail gunner Charlie’s, i.e.; Johnson, Dalton Kellett and Castroneves…
Then Claudio asked me if I wanted to go to
another section? So we Hopped on another Banana yellow School Bus that took us
around to the Front Straight. Before Claudio asked me if I wanted to go to the
Handicap Seats He and Kevin Had four years ago? Standing behind Claudio with
White Cane in Hand lookin’ “Purdy.” Claudio Jawed with the Gate Attendant for a
good 5-7mins before He gave up and told us we could go in and sit there for a
few minutes…
Naturally we were at the wrong end of the
Grandstands along the Front Straight, since Claudio told me I’d have to step, Err
climb over the seats! For which naturally I thought this is a Bad idea, but In
for a Pound, You Know, Hya! And after I’d awkwardly navigated stepping over the
first two rows, Claudio told me to move to the left and use the Chain-link
Fencing to Balance!
But this must have looked precarious, since a
super nice woman immediately came down from Her seat, took my Hand/Arm and Helped
me up another two rows before I sat down!
Although I knew immediately we weren’t sitting
in the Handicap seating, little did I know we were in the El Premio seating,
wich cost $120, or Double our General Admission tickets including the ridiculous
$10 Handling Fee!
Seated down relatively low was one of the Highlights
of the race for Mwah! Since I could absolutely Hear the Noises of individual racing
cars entire Pitstops. Beginning wit either the low speed rumble or Wog-Wog-Wogging
down Pitlane on the limiter. Then next in unison, the precision whir of the
four Wheel Guns!
Followed by what sounded like a two-three
seconds gap of Silence whilst packing the thirsty Honda’s and Chevy’s
absolutely Full of Fuel, Err Ethanol.
Then the strange electronic frequency Harmonic
of engaging the steering wheel mounted Clutch to varying degrees of RPM’s, before
the obligatory Screeching of freshly mounted Firestones searching for Adhesion!
As I could even discern the occasional
Squealing of tyres leaving their respective Pit Stalls! Along with swearing I
Heard two Indy Cars Stalling!
Learning afterwards that both Conor Daly and
Christian Lundgaard Had Stalled during their respective Pitstops! I’m guessing
I Heard Conor?
Whilst I could also immediately discern that
the Track’s muted PA System was playing the live IndyCar Radio Feed, since I
Heard Michael “Screech” Young talking animatedly over something occurring from His
reporting position in the Festival Curves…
