Tuesday, September 6, 2022

INDYCAR: Portland Race Day Edition – Mid Race and Beyond

As a Good Time was Had by All in the Rose City!


As typical, your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso cannot Scribble a Short story. Hence I’ve broken up my Portland Race Day’s review into Two part Harmony. Whale’, actually three, Oh Never Mind!


Picking up where I last left off, sitting roughly Halfway down the Front Straight with Claudio’, I enjoyed the Soothing sounds of the Pitlane action along with the Siren Song of 25 Bad Fast, Angry Mutha Fokker’ Killer Hornet Indy Cars Vroom Vrooming by relentlessly! With Claudio asking me who’s in the Blue Car? Saying you’ve gotta tell me more than that Dude, there’s multiple Blue cars!


Then telling Him the leader ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin was in the Blue ‘N Black Freightliner No. 3, which soon became a running joke about the Black ‘N Blue car, Hya! Who’s in the #2? Josef Newgarden. Oh, it’s a Black and White car. Which Car is Power in? He’s driving the Verizon No. 12 which should be red fading to black, McLaughlin drives the #2? Who drives the No. 4? Who drives the Blue Jones Soda Car? And so it went!


And it’s Funny how I thought I was wearing my Bad Arse Justin Wilson T-Shirt but Nobody ever said a word the whole day about what I was wearing, and it’s pretty Funny when you’re Blind and trying to pick out a racing T-Shirt you Haven’t worn in a Zillion years, but I digress…


After awhile, I asked where the others were? So Claudio went off to look for them, before my “Driver” colin came and sat next to me in the Grandstand in the Baking Heat! Asking Him if He could tell what lap it was? To which Colin soon replied that it was lap 41. (Of 110)


Yet as Good ‘Ol Awnty’ Harriet would say: I was as Happy as a Clam at High Tide! Especially since not only could I indulge in the Audio Soundtrack of individual Pitstop sequences. But I marveled in telling Colin that I could actually see glimpses of Black Ghost-like shadows of each racing car Flickering past me! For which I still haven’t figured out if I was actually seeing the cars, or more likely, it was their Millisecond Blocking of the Brilliant Sunshine that allowed me to “See” each cars “Trailing” Wakes akin to Boats passing by on water…


Also telling Colin How the Indy Cars suddenly had an entirely different (Audio) tone eintering the Festival Curves, to which He told me that the wind Had shifted from lef to right. Whilst I also Heard the occasional missing of a Gear shift which seemed Odd, since they’ve got Paddle Shifters, but I could Hear the Auditory Clap of a Sloppy Upshift! Which I Don’t know if it was from the same car or what?


Later Colin went and Corralled the rest of our party, Claudio, Nelie and Kevin and Claudio asked if I wanted to move up Higher in the Grandstand? So Colin Helped the Blind Guy step over several more rows of Bleacher seats Wham! As I Smacked my Shin against a Bleacher! Which I could still feel two Days later…


As colin just gave me His Hand and said I Didn’t need to bother with my White Cane until we were about midway up. Then I asked Clyde how far is the #2 Behind the No. 12? Which car is that? The Black & White Hitachi car…


As Not sure why, since I typically Don’t Root for the Penske boyz! But I just really want Will Power to win this year’s IndyCar Championship!


Whilst I’ve also totally taken A Shine to ScottyMac’ this season. As He just seems like a total Breath of Fresh Air for Team Penske! And His Quip to Michael Young during the Nashville Rain Delay about Rainbows being Upside Down in New Zealand was Priceless Mate!


Then Claudio asked if I wanted to go up to the top of the Grandstand? Telling me there’s a nice breeze there and I can sit with my back against the fencing. So once again the Blind Guy was climbing over more Bleacher seats…


But I knew immediately something Had Happened in Turn-1 by the way IndyCar Radio’s Michael “Screech” young was exuberantly Yelling! As later I’d learn that Rinus VeeKay had Hip-checked ‘Ol JJ’, nee Jimmie Johnson into the Armco Barrier! Bringing out the Days only Full course Caution, which was on lap 84.


As Kevin told me there was a Yellow Flag Ontrack. It was weird Hearing the sizeable Delay in the track going Full Yellow and the Stragglers slowing down! As Kevin Had said yellow and then several cars went Screaming By at Full chat! Which made me think of How Race Control typically Doesn’t immediately Close the Pits…


And it was interesting How much the Noise level changed after the Pace Car finally picked up the leader. For which the field completely cycled past the Pits for another lap, surmising the Pits weren’t Open?


When the Green Flag finally flew, I could audibly Hear Messer Young really Hotting Up over whatever Argie Bargie’ was  occurring in the Festival Curves, before the race settled back down! Then Claudio told me there were 11-laps remaining, and it just felt like a procession to the end…


When the Chequered Flag Flew, I asked Claudio where did the No. 2 finish? To which He erroneously told me the #2 Had finished Ahead of the No. 12, to which I Yelled Outloud FUCK! Which afterwards seemed like a really Funny reaction Trackside!


Then Colin correctly informed Mwah that the finishing order was the No. 3, 12 and #9, Huh? Where did Scott Dixon come from? Before Claudio told me that my “boy” Pato O’Ward had finished fourth. And that Newgarden was P8, which made me Happy!


Then we leisurely made our way down to the totally opposite end of our Grandstand, to it’s Only Aisle! As I know Grandstands cost money, but I find it totally Unacceptable having Only One Aisle on One End of the entire Grandstands! As that’s definitely Not very ADA Friendly, and just seems like it’s inviting trouble with Falling Spectators! Especially since Thars No Alcohol being consumed at races, El Correctomundo?


And Speakin’ of Drinking. Best line of the Day I Heard when we were waiting to catch the Shuttle Bus afterwards, was some man saying He’d spent too much time in the Sun! To which one of His Buddies Ribbed Him about Having too much to Drink? No, I’m an Ex-Sailor, I totally know How to Drink!


As we elected to wait for a second Bus, as Nelie wanted me to be able to sit down, since the Busses were All Standing Room only, which the wait was probably only 10-15mins Max.


As our Bus Driver maintined a Good sense ‘O Humour after a Grouchy Fan Yelled at Him repeatedly to S-T-O-P! After we’d only gone some 150 yards that He Didn’t want to walk to His car, WTF!


As the Driver casually said after starting up again, Next stop Portland International Airport!


Exiting at the main Gate, the five of us walked together until it was time to go our separate ways back to our vehicles, readily agreeing to come back again next year!


As colin and I set off for the three Hour “Cruise” back Home Again to Bumfiddle Florence! Whilst being passed by one Ferrari and later a completely modified late 2019-ish Ford Mustang GT.


With colin saying it had every Aftermarket Body Panel, Euro tail lights, rear window louvers, etc. you could possibly think of!


And when it Burr-rapped it’s loud Pedal to Squirt Ahead of Colin’s “Plain Jane” Mustang when exiting the Freeway. It was overly loud with it’s Aftermarket Exhaust system, to which I gleefully told Colin that it just sounded super Beefy!


As it wouldn’t be until 9PM-ish Sunday evening that I’d sit down to have “Zoey the Princess Warrior,” my current Zoomtext Fusion 2022 Screen reader read me Raymond Hando’s For the Love of Indy’s Portland First Impressions Blog post. In order to find out what had actually Happened to each driver during the race and overall “Flow” of the event. Since I’d been completely “blind” during the entire actual race due to the PA System’s volume being so muted…