Monday, September 18, 2023

The Only thing missing at Indy Cars Laguna Seca finale was the Zamboni!

While the proverbial “Penalty box” was overflowing with Drivers…

 

Yeah, I know I’m late to thee party as always! As I was gonna try working the words All Skate into my title, but those words made me think of Zamboni’s instead! Along with flashing back to a very old Brian Regan comedic skit! As I still find it Uber’ Hilarious, with Brian painstakingly recalling His time as Alex the Strohs Beer Canine’s campaign manager.

 

As this twelve minute, No will Power Two minutes Penalty Box for Avoidable Contact Jokes Here! Comedy Central skit seems apropos for what we just witnessed at Laguna seca!

 

With Brian retelling His experience at His first ever NHL Hockey game in Minny HaHa’, aka Minneapolis. And the Fans going wild during intermission at a North Stars vs. Chicago Blackhawks game. Having just seen a Hockey fight followed by Alex the dog riding around the arena on the Zamboni! Which is pretty much what we witnessed at Laguna Seca…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=metSo5FcbfI

 

Whilst the Racer magazine Headline I enjoyed the most was about how ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin claimed He’d Hit everything but the Pace Car enroute to second place!

 

While IndyCar Radio Network’s Driver Analyst Davey Hamilton sardonically proclaimed that almost everybody had Hit somebody on the opening lap!

 

And speaking ‘O Pace Cars, when’s the last time you witnessed the Pace Car running out of Fuel! Which is exactly what happened during Laguna Seca’s All skate, Say What?

 

As thought I “read”, Err heard somewheres’ that the Pace Car had spent 70 Freakin’ minutes on-track, Aye Karumba!

 

Actually read afterwards via ESPN Online Motorsports Headlines that the Honda Pace Car in question had spent more than 70 minutes pacing the field! But still, that Pace Car must have a really small fuel tank, since I thought Honda’s were notorious for getting good gas mileage…

 

IndyCar Radio lead announcer Mark Gravelly’ James noted that while we’d tied the record for most cautions during a race at Laguna Seca. (8) IndyCar broke the record for most laps behind a Pace Car which was previously 32-laps, before Sunday’s race spent an agonizing 35-laps behind the mostly present Honda Pace Car…

 

James also joked during Saturday’s Qualie’ session over how the only corner that hadn’t seen any action was Turn-12. Due to Thar only being 11 turns on the famed Monterey racing circuit.

 

Whilst even Turn-9 reporter Jake The Riddler’ Query got in on the action when wryly noting how perhaps the field could complete at least one Green Flag lap?

 

As Y’all knew it was going to be constant mayhem after five cars crashed into each other at Turn-2 on the opening lap! With the word I kept using being Slugfest! As the race just became one constant, annoyingly Disjointed event, seeing me rootin’ for several different drivers to win! Just anybody beside the Ganassi duo of Alex Palou and Scott Dixon! While thankfully Josef Newgarden, who I’ve anointed the new nickname of Slick effectively took Himself out of the race during that lap-1 melee…

 

As it was just a constant start-stop-start; Err, rinse, lather, repeat veritable Spin cycle of Yellows breeding yellows on thefreshly repaved racetrack! With the racing groove becoming super “Sticky” and netting lap times an astounding five seconds faster!

 

But anywhere off the racing line was akin to driving on ice, with drivers noting it was smooth as glass…

 

But don’t get me wrong, as I did find it a very entertaining race, with All of the nonstop action! Although you’d have expected better driving from these professionals, with great pains being taken to note Thar the Best Drivers…

 

Thus I found myself going from rooting for Felix-the Cat’ (Rosenqvist) to Christian Lundgaard, Pato O’Ward and Romain Grosjean. While rookie Augustin Canapino had the audacity of Harrying O’Ward for second place at one point during the race! Before the Argentinian was forced to limp home P14 with a broken front wing.

 

And as only thee “Iceman 2.0” can do. Scott Dixon having taken a six grid place penalty for changing engines Sunday morning. Along with a very questionable Drive-thru penalty for Avoidable Contact with Rinus VeeKay on the opening lap, with Dixon reportedly dropping a few F-Bombs before mentioning Arie, Arie! In deference to Arie Luyendyk’s perceived favour towards the Netherlands driver…

 

Yet with the aid of master strategist Mike Hull changing their race plan and the abundance of Yellow Flags. Dixon Found Himself leading the race for the last twenty laps enroute to His third win in four races! And His 56th career IndyCar victory, second All-time behind only A.J. foyt’s 67!

 

As I was so baffled over ow they’d done it again, that I couldn’t even remember who the other podium finishers were? With Mclauglin second and Palou third…

 

While will Power, who along with McLaughlin was one of the multiple drivers given penalties for Avoidable Contact rallied to finish fourth.

 

As when’s the last time that two Team Penske drivers were Hit with Avoidable Contact penalties in the same race?

 

Whilst Juncos Hollinger Racing’s Callum Ilott tied His career best IndyCar finish with another fifth place result. And absolutely does Not deserve the Dispicable, Disgusting treatment Argentinian Fans continue giving Him on Social Medea!

 

But Hey, like some have said in Ye Blogosphere. What a way to finish the season, and what a way to go into IndyCar’s ridiculous six months sleep inducing Offseason!