Monday, March 29, 2021

F1: Bahrain GP Post Race Bytes’

Damn You Golden child! Why do you have to be so Damn Good?


Obviously Thee Talking Point of the Bahrain Grand Prix will be the Mano e Mano Battle for the win between Golden Child, Uhm Sir Lewis and Max Verstappen, who by all rights the Dutchman should have won the race, but…


As much as I was absolutely Gutted after it became quite clear that Max had “Shot h-his-Wad” when going Off-track at Turn 4 to pass Lewis Hamilton for the lead, that Verstappen was gonna come up empthy and All I could say was Shit Shit shit!


But afterwards I begrudgingly came to the conclusion that  Max had been Outfoxed by Hamilton, who’d schrewdly put his car in the middle of the track and forced Max wide, as Verstappen perhaps was too eager to Pounce upon Lewis? After I’d sat with four sets ‘O fingers crossed chanting C’mon Max!


Meanwhile, once again Valtteri Bottas got Hosed by the Mercedes Pit Crew, which seem to have an affinity for chucking the likeable finn underneath the silver arrows “Hospitality” bus…


And could we have had any more of a chaotic, frenetic start to not only a Grand Prix, but a Formula 1 season? As Kroftie’, aka David Kroft wryly noted after the aborted start due to Sergio Perez’s Red Bull suddenly grinding to a Halt trackside on the Parade lap: “We’ve waited 105 Days for Season’s Start, why Not wait Another lap?”


Yet Checko’ (Perez) who started from the end of Pitlane methodically went about his Race-craft as always and soldiered home to a creditable Fifth-place finish by race’s end, albeit he couldn’t catch Lando Norris in the McLaren who finished P4.


Norris ran at the pointy end of the entire race, running as high as  third Me Thinks? And made a nice pass upon Charles Leclerc’s Ferrari, as the Monegasque managed to bring his Ferrari home in sixth, one place ahead of DannyRic’, nee Daniel ricciardo, making his McLaren  Debut.


As I Hate Admitting the Aussie’ was outperformed by his Junior McLaren team-mate, although Norris is now in his third season at Woking, so we’ll see how this battle progresses, Eh?


Carlos Sainz Jr. Donning rosso Overall for the first time put on a good show in the second Ferrari, at one point passing six F1 World Champions as Kroftie dipped into his own version of a Murrayism when the young Spaniard passed ‘lil syd viddle (Sebastian Vettel) in the Aston Martin and his Childhood Hero Fredrico Suave’s (Fernando Alonso) Alpine  in the same corner! Ultimately finishing P8.


And my “Star of the Race” goes to one of my new Favourites, the Brash young Charger Yuki Tsunoda who finished Ninth in his Debutante Formula 1 outing at Scuderia AlphaTauri, or as Claudio’ would say, the ‘lil bulls.


As Tsunoda becomes either the 55th or 65th driver to score points upon their F1 Debut, sinceswear I heard Kroftie say two different numbers. As the 20-year  old is not only the first Japanese driver in Formula 1 since K-Squared’, aka Kamui Kobayashi, but possibly the first to score points in his F1 debut since Kobayashi in 2012? Then driving for the Factory Toyota F1 Team, which is what I thought I heard Kroftie say at race’s end.


Whilst Tsunoda’s team-mate Pierre Gasley had a Gastly race after starting a fine fith. Tangling with the rear end of DannyRic’s McLaren? Before losing his front wing to which Martin billybob’ Brundle Cheekily said something ‘bout checking the Aerodynamic Furniture!


With my Favourite Pitlane Reporter Theodore, Not Lenny Kravitz, Hya! Joining in on the Ricciardo Bandwagon when noting how McLaren might be asking him to Block the fast advancing Perez to prevent him “Jumping” Norris by saying My Ute’s Bigger Then Your’s is Mate!


Rounding out the Top-10, i.e.; points paying positions was Lance Stroll who absolutely Outshone his new team-mate Vettel, who had another weekend to not write home ‘bout!


Know I probably shouldn’t write this, but; Haas New-boy Nikita Mazepin “looked” totally out of His league during his Formula 1 Debutante weekend.


As I believe it was David Kroft who mentioned during the Qualie’ show that Social Media had taken to calling him Mazza Spin, YOUCH! As the Rooski’ spun twice during Qualifying.


Then on the race’s second start, Mazepin dually Clouted the Wall, Uhm Armco Barrier immediately! As I know he graduated from Formula 2 and earned a FIA Superlicence to compete in F1, but he seems in over his head right now, albeit the Haas VF-21 clearly Ain’t a World Beater!


But compare Nikita’s weekend vs. Haas team-mate Mick Schumacher who just quietly got on with the job of keeping his nose clean, since I believe he also had the Haas’s rear-end Snap on him once during Qualie. But finished the race a quite P16, 1-lap behind.


As I’m left wondering just how many chassis Mazepin will crash or even destroy this season? And just hope Uralkali wrote Gene Haas a really big Cheque!


And now we’re stuck with a three week break until round-2 at Imola in San Marino, Italy, site of Black Sunday 27 years ago…