Damn You Golden child! Why do you have to be so
Damn Good?
Obviously Thee Talking Point of the Bahrain
Grand Prix will be the Mano e Mano Battle for the win between Golden Child, Uhm
Sir Lewis and Max Verstappen, who by all rights the Dutchman should have won
the race, but…
As much as I was absolutely Gutted after it
became quite clear that Max had “Shot h-his-Wad” when going Off-track at Turn 4
to pass Lewis Hamilton for the lead, that Verstappen was gonna come up empthy
and All I could say was Shit Shit shit!
But afterwards I begrudgingly came to the
conclusion that Max had been Outfoxed by
Hamilton, who’d schrewdly put his car in the middle of the track and forced Max
wide, as Verstappen perhaps was too eager to Pounce upon Lewis? After I’d sat
with four sets ‘O fingers crossed chanting C’mon Max!
Meanwhile, once again Valtteri Bottas got Hosed
by the Mercedes Pit Crew, which seem to have an affinity for chucking the
likeable finn underneath the silver arrows “Hospitality” bus…
And could we have had any more of a chaotic,
frenetic start to not only a Grand Prix, but a Formula 1 season? As Kroftie’,
aka David Kroft wryly noted after the aborted start due to Sergio Perez’s Red
Bull suddenly grinding to a Halt trackside on the Parade lap: “We’ve waited 105
Days for Season’s Start, why Not wait Another lap?”
Yet Checko’ (Perez) who started from the end of
Pitlane methodically went about his Race-craft as always and soldiered home to
a creditable Fifth-place finish by race’s end, albeit he couldn’t catch Lando
Norris in the McLaren who finished P4.
Norris ran at the pointy end of the entire
race, running as high as third Me
Thinks? And made a nice pass upon Charles Leclerc’s Ferrari, as the Monegasque
managed to bring his Ferrari home in sixth, one place ahead of DannyRic’, nee
Daniel ricciardo, making his McLaren
Debut.
As I Hate Admitting the Aussie’ was
outperformed by his Junior McLaren team-mate, although Norris is now in his third
season at Woking, so we’ll see how this battle progresses, Eh?
Carlos Sainz Jr. Donning rosso Overall for the
first time put on a good show in the second Ferrari, at one point passing six
F1 World Champions as Kroftie dipped into his own version of a Murrayism when
the young Spaniard passed ‘lil syd viddle (Sebastian Vettel) in the Aston
Martin and his Childhood Hero Fredrico Suave’s (Fernando Alonso) Alpine in the same corner! Ultimately finishing P8.
And my “Star of the Race” goes to one of my new
Favourites, the Brash young Charger Yuki Tsunoda who finished Ninth in his Debutante
Formula 1 outing at Scuderia AlphaTauri, or as Claudio’ would say, the ‘lil
bulls.
As Tsunoda becomes either the 55th
or 65th driver to score points upon their F1 Debut, sinceswear I
heard Kroftie say two different numbers. As the 20-year old is not only the first Japanese driver in
Formula 1 since K-Squared’, aka Kamui Kobayashi, but possibly the first to
score points in his F1 debut since Kobayashi in 2012? Then driving for the
Factory Toyota F1 Team, which is what I thought I heard Kroftie say at race’s
end.
Whilst Tsunoda’s team-mate Pierre Gasley had a
Gastly race after starting a fine fith. Tangling with the rear end of DannyRic’s
McLaren? Before losing his front wing to which Martin billybob’ Brundle
Cheekily said something ‘bout checking the Aerodynamic Furniture!
With my Favourite Pitlane Reporter Theodore,
Not Lenny Kravitz, Hya! Joining in on the Ricciardo Bandwagon when noting how
McLaren might be asking him to Block the fast advancing Perez to prevent him “Jumping”
Norris by saying My Ute’s Bigger Then Your’s is Mate!
Rounding out the Top-10, i.e.; points paying
positions was Lance Stroll who absolutely Outshone his new team-mate Vettel,
who had another weekend to not write home ‘bout!
Know I probably shouldn’t write this, but; Haas
New-boy Nikita Mazepin “looked” totally out of His league during his Formula 1
Debutante weekend.
As I believe it was David Kroft who mentioned
during the Qualie’ show that Social Media had taken to calling him Mazza Spin,
YOUCH! As the Rooski’ spun twice during Qualifying.
Then on the race’s second start, Mazepin dually
Clouted the Wall, Uhm Armco Barrier immediately! As I know he graduated from
Formula 2 and earned a FIA Superlicence to compete in F1, but he seems in over
his head right now, albeit the Haas VF-21 clearly Ain’t a World Beater!
But compare Nikita’s weekend vs. Haas team-mate
Mick Schumacher who just quietly got on with the job of keeping his nose clean,
since I believe he also had the Haas’s rear-end Snap on him once during Qualie.
But finished the race a quite P16, 1-lap behind.
As I’m left wondering just how many chassis
Mazepin will crash or even destroy this season? And just hope Uralkali wrote
Gene Haas a really big Cheque!
And now we’re stuck with a three week break until round-2 at Imola in San Marino, Italy, site of Black Sunday 27 years ago…
