Friday, December 18, 2015

F1: Pirelli's Abu Dhabi Nightcap (Constructor Rankings 1-3)

Will we see McLaren Honda at the front next year? As  reigning GP2 champion & new reserve driver Stoffel Vandoorne put them on top of the time sheets on Yas Isle. (Image source:
Pirelli's not only intent on giving the F1 teams & drivers more choices next year, but also tried clarifying the new rules by issuing the following statement. Yet I'd argue that making this clear as mud on a rainy day is the further confusion of each driver being able to choose his own rubber compounds...

(Constructor’s: Team/Chassis/Engine)
(1) Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team
Chassis:  W06 Hybrid
Engine: Mercedes Benz 
Points: 703
(Car No. + Driver)
6. Nico Rosberg
44. Lewis Hamilton
Reserve Drivers) Pascal Wehrlein, Esteban Ocon

Having blown A-L-L the competizione into Thy Weeds this year, with 16-wins out of 19-races, along with the staggering record of 12 1-2 finishes, etcetera-etcetera-etcetera! There really wasn't any reason for those Silver Arrow Panzerwagons to be testing Ja Volt!

So, in what seems like what a dominating Football team does late in the fourth quarter, by pulling its Star QB, Mercedes politely deferred to its reserve "Simulator Jockey" to do the task 'O tyre testing instead. As this year's DTM champion Herr Wehrlein ran the most laps of all with an astounding 107-circuits of Yas Isle en route to a workman-like P6 finish.

6th) Pascal Wehrlein Mercedes 1m45.605s 107-laps

(2) Scuderia Ferrari
Chassis:  SF15T
Engine: Ferrari
Points: 428
5. Sebastian Vettel
7. Kimi Raikkonen
Reserve Driver) Esteban Gutierrez
Development Driver) Jean-Eric Vergne

Apparently la Scuderia's Pilotes', well at least who's now become 'lil Sid Vittle' here at No Fenders wanted one more day in the sun poundin' round the Yas Marina. As Thy Kimster's fortitude for extra-curricular testing duties aren't top of his list. As NO idea if Thy Kimster' went for an ice cream afterwards; Hya!

Interestingly, mocking the results of the just concluded season's final race outing, Kimi Raikkonen once again finished ahead of esteemed team leader Seb' Vettel, with both completing the exact same amount 'O laps. A paltry 56-apiece, whilst surely Vettel's not too concerned about the outcome.

2nd) Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari 1m44.456s 56-laps
5th) Sebastian Vettel Ferrari 1m44.940s 56-laps

(3) Williams F1 Team
Chassis:  FW37
Engine: Mercedes Benz
Points: 257
19. Felipe Massa
77. Valtteri Bottas
Reserve Driver) Susie Wolff
Development Drivers) Alex Lynn, Lance Stroll

Although the younger racing Finn Valtteri compiled the second-most laps of the test with 103, just four shy of Pascal Wehrlein's 'Mega total. Mirroring the season finale race on Yas Isle, along with their respective season points standings. Bottas finished a sub-par P10, behind fellow Buddy Raikkonen, who also bested his younger countryman 150-136 points-wise, finishing fourth overall vs. Valtteri's somewhat disappointing  fifth place season finish.

10th) Valtteri Bottas Williams 1m45.940s 103-laps

As Y'all know, F1's only current Femme Fatale Susie Wolff announced her retirement from Thy Sport - Having effectively plateaued at tester status, for which thy 'Wee Willie Buxom, nee Will Buxton writes a compelling story upon how Wolff shouldn't be heralded as the sports female saviour.

Meanwhile, 'Kuhnaidiun Lance Stroll, a la Mexico's Alfonso Celis, is hopeful his recently announced Development Driver deal with Team Willy' can lead him to the top of the mountain in terms of an F1 ride near future.

Lance is the 17yr old son of Kuhnaidiun Billionaire Lawrence Stroll, and won the 2014 Italian F4 crown as well as  this year's New Zealand Toyota Racing series. As the teenager is eager to emulate Bottas rise to F1 regular, he'll need to surpass current GP2 hopeful Alex Lynn, who's also vying for a drive in Formula 1, as they both eye Felipe Massa's seat...

As the Day's testing results were compiled from James Allen on F1 website which can be read in their entirety below...