Sunday, May 3, 2015

Clowns to the left of Me, Jokers to the right, IndyCar Here I am again...




A more tranquil Tomaso tiptoes thru the Blue Bonnets in Austin. (The Tomaso Collection)
As A-L-L I could say after trying to listen to my MOST BIZARO IMS Radio Network broadcast ever from thee Barbers' was;

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER INDYCAR!

Ah, here we are at the Month 'O May, Mother Speedway's most hallowed time for which A-L-L I can say is, hopefully that old adage of April Showers bring May Flowers will weave its magic over me...

BARBER SHEARS!
Won't go into minute detail over Indycar.com's infuriating for Mwah Live Timing & Scoring webpage, which I last vented about in;


It's just overly frustrating to a legally blind 'Vurd Botcherer, or "Keyboard Warrior" as Ralph Sheheen calls us - to constantly struggle with trying to listen to live  IndyCar &Indy Lights practice, qualifying and races which A-L-L have different methods for enabling their various broadcasts to be heard over Zed Internetz...

Yet what really BLEW me away was when the IMS Radio Network live broadcast of the Barber Motorsports Park qualifying session went A-L-L HEIDI on us; WTF!

As I appreciated IndyCar shortening the time between Qualie sessions in order to hopefully beat the impending rain; BUTT!

With virtually little warning, other than Mark Graveley' James diatribe 'bout Indiana weather and when Yuhs can tell a change  is Ah-comin', along with Nicky 'Salt Yeoman's confirmation of sprinkles occurring... Nothing, Nada, Zip!

As inexplicably, and with ZERO warning, the voices of Paul Page & Davey Hamilton were abruptly cut off and suddenly Will Power's In-car camera feed began playing instead in the final 2mins of the Final-12 Knockout session, with just Power's Chebbie lump winding up 'N down thru its gears; WTF!

As either Yuhs had to BLOW your eardrums out with the sound of the shrieking Bowtie engine in order to barely hear Team Penske's Tim Cindric talking to Will Power over the radio or just listen to the turbo engine instead audibly without the very muted In-car radio chatter.

This went on for the entire 10mins  Fast Six Shootout leaving me virtually in the DARK over what was occurring On-track since there was  NO audio commentary available - which I just sat in total disbelief over!  

Then at 2:44PM Pacific, which was 4:44PM Central or 5:44PM Eastern/NY/Indianapolis time, right CARPETS; Hya! Paul Page's distant voice reappeared briefly, "Justin-time" to hand us over to Pitlane for 'HULIO'S SILLY ARSE Pole Dance interview...

Then two minutes later, i.e.; 2:46PM the sound QUIT again; WTF! As I just said ENOUGH! NO MAS! And DITCHED the broadcast still shaking my head in total disbelief over what I'd just endured...

Especially since I had NO Freakin' idea of who'd made the Fast Six Shootout or the overall results; SHEISA! As all I'd heard after turning UP my speakers was Cindric telling Power "We're on the Front Row..." And really DON'T know how IndyCar will ever truly become popular again, especially with these types 'O shenanigans; Oh Never Mind!

Yet thanxs solely to Geo. Phillips  of Oil Pressure  who was live at thee Barbers' and providing updates via his Oil Pressure blog, I ascertained after the fact that there had been a Lightning strike warning which effected the Fast Six Shootout...


John Andretti, "The King" (Richard Petty) and Dreyer & Reinbold unveil the RPM No. 43 racecar for the 2009 Indy 500. (Image source: motorsport.com)
MAY IS HERE...
Now that my angst  towards another botched IMS Radio Network broadcast is over, as cannot say how frustrated towards Indy Cars in whole I initially was, going so far as to mentally note April 25th as the day I lost any remaining zeal towards the series; YIKES!

Yet with that said, it was GURR-REAT! Hearing  both Derek Daly, who joined Paul Page and Davey Hamilton  in the booth, along with Conor (Daly) on Pitlane later both so jubilant about securing the third Schmidt Peterson Motorsport ride for Indy, as I'm just really smitten by Conor's humbleness...

Conor will be driving the hallowed No. 43 at Mother Speedway which was last piloted by "Gentleman John" (Andretti) for Dreyer & Reinbold Racing, as ironically John was also a guest  in the booth that April day.

As  another  entertaining tidbit was divulged by John Andretti, who'd help put together the "Stinger Car," which I'd seen at IMS's Hall of Fame museum back in 2013, noting that it'll be auctioned off during next year's 100th running of the Indy 500 with all proceeds going to St Judes...


Yet I swear, for each time I get JAZZED' over IndyCar's, I either hear or experience something that turns me back off once again. As  I find  it quite disappointing that after having blissfully skipped Trackside with Kevin & Cavin for nearly a year's time, when tuning in for Hour-2 'Wayback on April 21st, I was disturbed to hear Kevin Lee making a mockery out of how basically Indy Cars only fans are the Midwest states and California... Hmm? Let's say, I Dunno, what about Oh 'KanaDuh for starters Messer Lee? Not to mention some  Keyboard Warrior here in the Pacific Northwest; ACK!

And all of the pre-Indy conjecture over how Honda's simply concentrating on Indianapolis and their Oval Aerokits is NUTS! As Marco Andretti rightly sez', it's the Elephant in the Room right now, as Hondres' taken a shellacking during the first four races, since I began scribblin' this prior to the mesmerizing Angie's List Indy GP Road-race.

As I find that PR-Speak to be Poppy-cock! Really Honda? You wanna get BEAT by Chevrolet on the Road & Street courses which make up the majority of the truncated IndyCar season; WTF!

As prey-tell, hopefully Dale Coyne has figured out; Err announced who his remaining two-thirds driver lineup is, eh? Along with the 'TAG (Alex Tagliani) drive at A.J. Foyt having been confirmed, giving us 34-entries, meaning one entrant's  gonna not be happy come the end of "Boomp Day;" Err end of qualifying, pre ORGASMIC Fast Nine Pole Shoot-out, which I WON'T bother watching this year, since that 2hr Infomercial Hypefest left me frothing at thy mouth last year...


Thus, I'm rooting for my Four Musketeers this May,  albeit I don't belief any of them will win, but nonetheless, I'm pulling for Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson, Conor Daly, Brian  Clauson  and Buddy Lazier, while I'd also be contented with any of the three CFH Racing Boyz, aka Joseph Newgarden, 'FAST EDDIE (Ed Carpenter) or J.R. Hildebrand drinking milk in victory lane.



OOPSADAISY!
How could I forget thee "Mayor 'O Hinchtown" (James Hinchcliffe) Carlos 'Silk Munoz or Oriel "Suitcase" Servia and 'TAG (Alex Tagliani) from my list of preferred winners, eh?

HELL! I'd even be happy with Ryan Hunter-Reay; GASP! 'TK Follow-your-Schnoz! Or Scott Dixon Winning again, just so long as anybody besides 'HULIO wins...

No comments:

Post a Comment