Friday, October 14, 2011

Its Almost Showtime for the Who’s Your Daddy Sweepstakes...

So after Will Power’s most unfortunate coming together with ‘BIA at the Kentucky Oval-fest - my original sediments were that I would NOT watch the ridiculously OVERHYPED los wages Season Finale... Having just realized that I’ve been ‘Juan ‘O the few loyal 0.1 TV Viewers to watch this seasons two LOWEST rated televised races, i.e.; Motegi & Kentucky from start to finish; YIKES!

And I was getting’ turned off - especially since ALL of the Hoopla over DannyBoy and Duh Playah’s was makin’ me Nauseous! But wait; Gee Wally! You could actually win a few million Greenbacks, right? NAH!

According to Kurty Cavin - the Who’s Your Daddy Sweepstakes insurance policy would pay some ‘Rucky Dawg approx. $62,500 for 40-years in Annuity form... BUTT WAIT! Said ‘Rucky Dawg could opt for the lump-sum payout of $1.3-million BEFORE Uncle $am’s take, a cool 40% - which would net said winner approx. $845k, which isn’t ‘nuttin to sneeze at, right? I mean that chunk-uh change could buy someone a lotta Baloney sandwiches, eh?

Although the part I found most funny in Cavin’s IndyStar piece was that DannyBoy ‘SPIKE Wheldon would haveda split his winning share three-ways, between Dan, Curly ‘N Moe; Hya! Err, Sam Schmidt Motorsports & Bryan Herta Motorsports; hence paying the Englishman a sum somewhere’s north of a quarter million smackeroos... (I think I read it would be a measly $261k?) Which I’m not sure how many shoes Wheldon  could buy for ‘Dat; Hoohah! Cymbol crash please...

And it’s a New Track Record... Err, record turnout for the final race of the lamented Dallara Crapwagon... Hey, easy Buckwheat! I actually kinda like these bulbuous F1 wannabee Racecars... Especially since they got rid of those annoying sounding Oldsmobile and Nissan ‘lumps... And thus, as we already know, we’re having a ‘Par-tee... With 34 Dancin’ Fools, Err Pardners waltzing into Sin City this weekend; with four ladies in the deck, four Jokers; count ‘em: EJ “What? Me Worry!” Viso, Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter, Mr. Chrome Horn, aka Paul Tracy and ‘HULIO... And that’s not to mention all of the Pairs that’ll be saddlin’ up to the Blackjack tables... With multiple teams playin’ Two-car Monty in search of hittin’ 21; Uh, racing teams rollin’ out extra Dallaras for the los wages blowout...

Yet, as Wesley Snipes once said; NEVER BET AGAINST BLACK! Hya! Which hopefully will push the roulette wheel towards ‘DJ WillyP’s (Will Power) favour, right? After all his Dallara’s primary colour is black... While I’d suppose that Dashley LePew - formerly known here at No Fenders as Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti is betting the Farm on red...

Additional “los wages” Playah’s
No. 8) Paul Tracy; Dragon Racing.
No. 11) Davey Hamilton; Dreyer & Reinbold Racing.
No. 15) Jay Howard; Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing.
No. 17) R-Wade Cunningham; SSM/AFS.
No. 22) Townsend Bell; Dreyer & Reinbold Racing.
No. 30) R-Pippa Mann; Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing.
No. 34) R-Sebastian Saavedra; Conquest Racing.
No. 44) Buddy Rice; Panther Racing.
No. 57) Tomas Scheckter; Sarah Fisher Racing.
No. 77) Dan Wheldon; Sam Schmidt Motorsports.
No. 98) Alex Tagliani; SSM/Bryan Herta Autosports with Curb/Agajanian Racing.