Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Ross Brawn pinches himself

“There’s NO place like Home!”
“There’s NO place like Home!”
“There’s NO place like Home!”

As Ross Brawn could be heard over the radio telling “JENSE,” You’re in OZ, Mate! And you’ve just WON the BLOODY Australian Grand Prix... After the wayward Brit noted that he didn’t feel like he was in Brackley anymore...

So, I’ve finished watching the tape, spending the whole morning reveling in the siren song of the Formula 1 beasts, albeit mightily muted via the in-car feeds via the Telescreen... And I just basically sat there laughing...

As obviously by now Y’all have heard that the unthinkable happened with Brawn GP having a fairytale weekend Down Under, as first they shockingly captured the first two slots upon the grid in Qualifying... A feat that hadn’t occurred since 1970 in Kyalami, South Africa with the March Formula 1 team with drivers Sir Jackie Stewart and Chris Amon.

Then, Brawn GP hoped to score their Grand Prix team’s maiden victory in their Formula 1 debut at Albert Park, something that hadn’t occurred since 1977...

And thanks to the shenanigan’s of Red Bull Racing’s Sebastian Vettel, Rubens Barrichello was able to inherit second fiddle, Err place after having played whackumobile the entire day, as a somewhat sheepish “Zebb” was reported to have said that Sir Richie was going to let him fly FREE in First Class all season long if he’d keep Kubica from snatching BLOODY NIGE’s, Err, Jense’s victory in the waning stages of the race, while Deeter Majestic could be heard screaming “KILL THE RADIO!”

Yet the quip of the weekend had to go to ‘Ol Hobbo, as he wryly noted how the Kimster judiciously applied the “Iron Door” to the fast approaching Rubino... But what the HELL! When’s the last time that a customer car has blown off multiple World Champions, eh? As I’m assuming that the folks in Tokyo are licking their chops at the moment, while Ferrari can at least take solace in the fact that the Mercedes “Lump” was in the back of the Brawn and not those pesky McLaren’s.

Meanwhile Jarno Trulli was docked a 25 second time penalty for passing young “Louise JAGUAR” Hamilton while behind the Safety Car, you know the one that had a hard time coming out on track... And thus Hamilton inherited third after his worst starting grid position of his career... While Messer Vettel has been docked 10 grid spots for Malaysia after his contretemps with the Krakow Kid, along with Red Bull being fined $50,000 for ordering Zebb to keep going on three wheels.

And lastly, the Diffuser Spat Appeal will be heard on April 14th, but as Peter Winsor noted, it may be a bit hard to overturn, since three different F1 teams all came up with their unique interpretations of the rules, while Toyota will attempt to appeal Trulli’s penalty...