Friday, March 13, 2009

Shiny Happy People?

Whale, this story seemed appropriate... Since after all it’s once again Friday the 13th, as I’ve just been sittin’ around drinkin’ a glass ‘O Veeso-berry juice, ‘cause its ggGGG-GURR-REAT!

Actually it seemed most ironic that my appointment to have my shiny new (DIGG-it-TULL) Box installed was slated for today, eh? Oh, we’ll be there between 8AM-Noon, will that work for you Sir?

So, I was scanning the newspapers... Y’all remember what those thingy’s are, eh? And another bemused smirk came to Mwah, when reading about the couple whose used couch came complete with... Drum roll please... Yep, its very own feline... As the woman’s boyfriend noticed a lump in the seat cushion moving as he was watching the Telescreen...

Used couch for $27; cat included.

And now I can happily(NOT!) report that I’ve just had my shiny new Comm-Spazdick Box installed and all systems seemingly are A-OTAY... Although it was pretty comical that the Box I’d been mailed was NOT pre-programmed and after waiting over 20+ minutes, the nice Technician said I’m going to go get another box that I know is already set-up and we DON’T have-duh wait the few hours it’ll take to run thru all of the programs...

Of course Sir, you WON’T be able to record multiple channels on your very ‘Old School VCR... Since all commands are now being routed thru the Box... And you’ll have to leave the Box turned on at all times in order to record your single channel.

Attention all planets of the Solar Federation,
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation,
We have Assumed control!
We have Assumed control!

Thus now I’ll be able to keep up on all of the Hollywood gossip as apparently I’m way outta duh loop when it comes to this shiz...

Examples; Whale do I really want to go dare, do I? But imagine my pains when I thought I had some sorta inside scoop upon these two headlines: “An itty-bitty Kiwi in the making” and “Will rubicon really race?” from is it May yet?

Oh the first “Juan” is probably about this Down Under up ‘N comer racer I keep hearing ‘bout named CW, while isn’t the second “Juan” ‘bout Patrick Dempsey’s latest racing venture?

Uhm, well actually NO! As Chris Wootton (CW) is an Aussie who’s just signed for Eurasia Motorsport for the 2009 Formula BMW Pacific season and is reportedly under the tutelage of Aussie F1 piloto Mark Webber... While Rubicon is actually Hollywood Heartthrob Jason Priestley’s gig; so DAMN! Guess I’ll have-duh start watchin’ Entertainment Tonight on my Comcast channel 497863.4... (Gotta LUV all ‘dem channel choices on my new expando-matic service...) Now let’s see, uze gotta waves itz up in duhs aire and taps itz three times... Oh Never Mind!

But you’ll probably just wanna use your old TV remote to turn the power on and off, since your (EVIL Comm-Spazdick) Box has a teeny weenie itzy bitsy red light that lets you know when the powers on/off! Open the pod bay doors... Open the pod bay doors, Hal; DAMMIT!

Now if you just push the tiny button above the 7, that’ll take you to the On Demand menu for when you’re awake at 2AM and cannot sleep and wanna slog thru the free movies section... No, the next tiny button up, over a little, just to the right... That’s it. And then even more hilarious was the comment that the Technician doesn’t even own a TV! Now could you just please sign here, Sir...

Nice job on the Stork news Will... Now by-gummit! Where’s ‘dat waskly remote, eh?

I thought I heard a Puddy-tat...


Hello? Hellow? Dave’s NOT here right now! BUTT how do I turn on the SPEED Channel?