Monday, April 21, 2008

When Two equals One

HMM? Why does the title of this post make me think of that old Three Dog Night song? You know; One is the loneliest number. (Wonder if Tony George has ever heard that song?)

Although I’d thought of doing the Jack “BRUT” Arute double, albeit from the Lazy-Boy recliner late evening with visions of Sugar Plums, Err, Hulio “Dancin’ Shoes” Castroneeves… HMM? Perhaps I should think ‘bout the Princess more kindly? While hoping to be serenaded by the soothing voices of Mike King and Colour Commentator extraordinaire Davey Hamilton of the IMS Radio broadcast via le internets…

Oh, that’s right, Davey’s busy “Stateside” getting his seat fitting for the Hallowed Shalt be thy Name Kingdom Racing team… But back to the pain in the Keister Indy Car website… C’mon where’s the FRILLIN’ link??? Thinking I’d be able to listen to “live” qualifying, even if I cannot master the Japanese Time Zone Conversion + Eastern Time listings. Let’s see, Japan = +16 hours, carry the 9, subtract the 6 and divide by 12.5, then add another 3? Oh never mind, what in the HELL time is it?

But as Y’all know, the TT Gods weren’t smiling upon Motegi and Qualifying was rained out. Neither was the Microphone God for Jack Arute, nor were any of the broadcasters actually in Motegi…

Thus, taking a cue from My Name is IRL.. Although I’ll catch BOTH… Yep, that’s right TWO Open Wheel races from the cozy confines of my rich Corinthian leather couch, which won’t be nearly as impressive as Messer Arute’s racking up of frequent flyer miles this past weekend, (But, Hey! Somebodies gotta do it, right?) I’ll leave the Motegi Twin Rings of Venus weekend’s coverage to my fellow (SHHShshh…. Don’t tell Jeff Olsen) Indy Car Bloggers…

(Good thing Arute wasn’t flying on American Airlines or having to go to Terminal 4 in LAX, eh?)

And just what did we learn over the past weekend’s dubious Open Wheel double header, which thankfully will be the last time we’ll have to put up with that sort of NONSENSE! Well, I believe that the Roundy-round boyzs learned that the “Majic Rings” utilized to propel those Dallara Honda’s don’t seem to do very good on weeper’s... As all of the drivers were wearing coats and Tony “Follow your Snauz” Kanaan told Mr. Arute how he wanted to be somewhere warm… Like California!

And while foolishly sitting thru the entire two hour race delay, it struck me as somewhat bemusing that Bobby Rahal had flown (The Coup?) all the way to Japan in order to leave the track Saturday in order to fly back to California to be the Grand Marshall of the Long Beach Grand Prix.

And if we’re gonna really quit this Open Wheel divide… Then when in the HELL! Is the Dizney Shopping Networks going to start giving the “Transition” drivers equal billing? As I thought I caught Marty Reid only congratulating Buddy Rice and Edward Carpenter on their recent additions… With NO mention of Justin Wilson during the Pamper’s portion of the race delay… I mean C’mon, either give us the silly poop on all of the driver’s wife’s having babies or don’t bother us with the filler crap!

And even better yet, if you wish to win over us Champ Car diehards… Then don’t put the FRILLIN’ Delayed race coverage on ESPN Classic… Cause many households DON’T have access to that channel… Yet even more hilarious was the continuous plugging of the ALMS tape delayed race on ABC which my locoe affiliate has decided NOT to air in favour of Paid Programming, i.e.; Jack Luhlaine Juicers, Sally Struthers Tummy Tucker, etc. Guess I’m gonna get to listen via le internets after all, since that’s the ONLY way I’ll be able to catch the race live…

Thus with all of the extra time on my hands while waiting for the Really Really Really Big Champ Car swan song... I happened to notice the following tidbit courtesy of Kurt Cabin;

“Also entered is Mario Dominguez, who is due to be named to a new IndyCar Series program with Pacific Coast Motorsports later this month.”

And if Jamie Little reports on it during the Long Beach race, then it must be true…


  1. Agree 100%. When we were getting he low-down on Wheldon's new choppers, I said to myself.. "what about the champ car guys? Haven't they had any cosmetic work done recently? Are not there skin care products and wardrobe choices of these other drivers just as important?"

    Hang in there my friend. Someday all drivers will be treated equal, and its very likely that Joan Rivers will somehow be involved.

  2. Well actually I believe that Joan Rivers is busy this week... Wait a sec' Doesn't she cover the assorted royality coming down the red carpet? Perfect, we'll have Joan interview the Princess on her way into Cooking with Regis 'N Phylbin...