Wienermobile follies

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener…

Holy Wienermobile Batman! As Y’all (painfully) know by now, my Confuzer has been outta action the past several weeks, which may be was due to the carelessness of a Rookie Wienermobile Piloto, eh?

Wienermobile crashes into Wisconsin home

And I certainly hope that the fine folks at Oscar Meyer didn’t call the errant Tow Truck Operator who just managed to crash his way into somebody’s Swimming pool after playing pinball with another Motorist while too busy talking on one cell phone while texting on another…

Tow Truck driver crashes into pool while texting

Now what was that tag line about They Plump when yuhs Cooks ‘dem? Somebody stops me now… Can it be the HEAT?

Broken record

So apparently inquiring minds wanna know? Did we break the ALL time temperature record or what?

As you may be aware of, we're having our own little NASTY HEAT WAVE up here right now... (Minus AC) Which means it’s BLOODY HOT up here as I'm glad I don't have a talking thermometer to register what the temp is inside my Domicile, eh?

And as Meesh would say… We broke the F%%KING Record!
103 Deg F was new ALL time record set yesterday, with the Eastside hitting an unprecedented 107; aye Karumba! And today it’s only supposed to be 101 before we dip back into the high 80's/Low 90's by the end of this weekend, as some much needed moist ‘N COOL Marine air blows our way and pushes that NASTY, STAGNANT Californian air easterly.

And this concludes your Tomaso weather update, now back to your *somewhat) regular broadcasting... Next up, Cat talk, may be?

Schumacher returning!

Holy Blogosphere Batman! Talk about your riveting news cycle, eh?

Having taken a dip in the Kiddies’ pool, after a sweltering walk in 95 degrees temperature at 12:30PM today. (Otay, I’ll stop with the weather reporting, may be?)

So what to do now? Yeah, I succumbed to surfing the internets and was floored to discover on James Allen’s F1 Blog the title screaming Schumacher to return to Formula 1…

As ironically, Seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher’s decision to return to the cockpit after an enforced three year sabbatical comes on the heels of his manager Willi Weber 200% categorically denying that his charge, Herr Schumacher… Or as David Hobbs enjoys putting it, Ralph Schumacher’s brother would NOT be returning to race in Formula 1 anytime soon, just 24hrs prior.

The 40yr old German will undergo an intense training regiment, prior to being given the go-ahead to stand in for Felipe Massa at next month’s European Grand Prix in Valencia, Spain. (Ah SHEISA! Where’s my G5 when I need it, eh? Having not seen the Terminator since his glorious victory, becoming the very first five time winner at Indianapolis in 2006…)

“Schuey,” who hasn’t driven competitively since 2006, nor having driven this year’s recalcitrant Ferrari F60 chassis, will most likely be given special compensation to test prior to racing in Spain, which should help the promoter’s immeasurably, if the Renault penalty stands.

Michael Schumacher:
"The most important thing first: thank God, all news concerning Felipe is positive. I wish him all the best again. I was meeting this afternoon with Stefano Domenicali and Luca di Montezemolo, and together we decided that I will prepare myself to take the place of Felipe. Though it is true that the chapter of Formula 1 has been completely closed for me for a long time, it is also true that for loyalty reasons to the team I cannot ignore that unfortunate situation. But as the competitor I am, I also very much look forward to facing this challenge."
(Source: Grandprix.com)

The HEAT is ON!

So, the movie title “Sleepless in Seattle” took on a whole new meaning last evening… As we’re not accustomed to temperatures exceeding 80 degrees up here, as the entire Pacific Northwest is in the midst of a HEAT WAVE!

Yeah Jeffey, I know that Arizona is HOTTER then most of the Country, but as I mentioned before, the majority of us, including your Humble Scribe do NOT have Air conditioning… As most meteorologists proclaim that Seattle’s weather is never below ZERO or OVER 100 degrees, and traditionally our summer doesn’t begin until July 12th.

Thus, after an abysmal day of record setting temperatures, with a high of 97, it was still sufficiently stuffy around 1AM, and now we’re expecting to potentially break the ALL time HIGH temperature record of 100 degrees set back on July 20, 1994… Which I seem to recall spending the day sweltering away at Randall’s Barbeque Party, resplendent with a special guest appearance by Andy and The Swans who triumphantly parachuted their way into the shin-dig… Talk ‘bout crashing a party, literally, eh?

And we’re expecting to set another record of six straight days above 90 degrees, due in large part to the stagnant weather conditions in California, so TANK’s a lot Awnie! As now, I’ve gotta go cool off and try to find a piece of the pool not infested with “Chitlen’s” Yuhs here’s? As will we hit 101 today? Somebody pass me a Cold ‘Juan! 'Cause it's too DAMN HOT to be scribbling any more stories...

HEAT WAVE puts High pressure on Weather Forecasters

BMW Sauber Quitting F1!

Holy Wienersnitzel Batman! Talk about “The Ultimate Bombshell!” As I awoke this morning from a fretful night ‘O Sleep to the AP Newswire report that BMW has decided to QUIT Formula 1 at the end of the 2009 season… SHEISA!

As the Munich Companies Management Board Chairman Dr. Norbert Reithofer, has claimed that the current Economic conditions in F1 are simply too great and that the Firm will utilize the financial resources of the team to concentrate instead on Sustainability and Environmental compatibility, as BMW re-aligns its priorities… As its awfully hard to swallow the thought that some Old Codger with an infinity for Kraut Fralein’s was correct over the possibilities that Honda’s shock withdrawal wouldn’t be the last of the big Auto Manufacturer’s, Zieg Heil!

Yet, most pundits seemed to think that Toyota was the most likely candidate to follow its Honda rival out of the sport and I for one certainly didn’t see this coming from BMW Sauber, especially with the current rumours making the rounds that Renault is potentially on the chopping block and a sell of the team to a Russian Tycoon is immanent. Albeit the team’s dismal performance this season; as obviously, this will put BMW Sauber’s lead driver, the “Krakow Kid” (Robert Kubica) to the head of the line in the 2010 Driver market, either as Felipe Massa’s or Heikki Kovalainen’s replacement, or perhaps Barrichello or Trulli’s? As you’d have to say that BRAWN, Ferrari, McLaren and Toyota are the top teams available, as Renault is a wild card at the moment.

Things probably aren’t quite as rosy for “Quick Nick” (Heidfeld) who is getting a bit long in the tooth and seems to be mostly out shadowed by Kubica. Yet, with the arrival of three new Constructors next year, an experienced F1 Piloto would be of great value.

And with the lightly reported signing of a new Concorde Agreement just concluded, how does BMW’s decision affect this, will an attempt be made to sell the team and will BMW incur any monetary repercussions? Stay tuned, as the Formula 1 landscape continues its bumpy ride.

And never fear Meesh, your man Bobby Rahal’s ALMS GT2 program isn’t affected, nor is the Formula BMW and all other Motorsports activities not associated with F1…

Budapest Bash

Obviously, I wasn’t expecting to watch “Live,” via the Memorex the Horrific looking Shunt Scuderia Ferrari’s Felipe Massa incurred during the “Q2 Qualie” session at the Hunga-Boring (Hungaroring) circuit this past Saturday; seeming quite eerie to watch the images of Massa’s Ferrari F60’s “Lump” revving away while firmly implanted into the Turn 4 Tyre barrier!

And although I either lost the video tape or failed to record it, as I’ve mentioned before that I was preoccupied in “Los Wages” that horrible weekend in Imola, referred to as “Black Sunday!” When two F1 Piloto’s lost their lives and very nearly a third, I must say that Massa’s incident immediately conjured up images of Ayrton Senna’s tragic accident, along with ex-Toyota F1 Piloto “Shorty’s” (Cristiano Da Matta) horrible testing shunt at Road America, as I silently muttered to myself that Massa’s DONE! As in his race career is kaput… (Which obviously I hope I’m completely WRONG about).

Sportscenter SUCKS!
Saturday afternoon, while still without my Confuzer, Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B called at 13:43 (1:43PM) wanting to know if I’d heard the news about Felipe Massa? Yeah, I watched the whole BLOODY thing this morning… But they said he’s Ok… Well actually the ESPN “Ticker” says that Massa’s suffered Life threatening injuries but is in Stable condition; which seems like a bit of an Oxy-Moron to Mwah.

So, I did a quick scurry around the Newswires, via my very appreciated Newslind for the Blind telephone service, which enables me to listen to 250+ Newspapers from all 50 States, yet could only find reports of the initial accident, echoing SPEED’s coverage reporting that Massa was Ok after having been removed by stretcher and that Rubens Barrichello had talked to him in the infirmary… With AP News claiming that Barrichello had reported Massa’s Ok, moving his arms but is highly agitated… (To which I’m now wondering if the FIA pulled another Senna? Taking Massa away from the Hungaroring without divulging his true status?)

Next, “Mr. Carpets” (Dave) called at 16:00 (4PM) also asking if I’d seen the ESPN Ticker’s news about Massa’s condition? Aw, CRAP! Now I’m gonna have to watch ESPN’s Freakin’ Sportscenter at 8PM (Pacific)

And yeah, I know it’s a FRILLIN’ Stick ‘N Ball Channel… BUTT CRACKERS!!! I had to endure 34 minutes of their dribble before getting to the story I cared about; SHEISA!

As first we were FORCED to watch endless minutes of “ ROID BOYZ,” As the Talking Bobble-heads blathered on ‘N on ‘bout ‘dem Boyz ‘O Summer, (Baseball) the Nationwide race recap, a ditty ‘bout Mark “Old Spice” Martin’s affliction for ‘Old School WRAPPERS like Snoopy Doggy Dog. HELL! Even Lance Armstrong and Le Tour de Farce got preferential billing…

But what about Felipe-eh?

Then back to more Base-em ball tiddlywinks and a rather entertaining interview on the Brickyard’s Tarmac with “SMOKE” (Tony Stewart) and ‘Ol Super Tex, (AJ Foyt) as Foyt tossed out multiple One-liners about tony which caused him to laugh quite a bit… Before the announcer read from the Telepromter: Ferrari’s Felipe Massa sustains Life threatening injuries in crash, but is in Stable condition; SHEISA! I already knew that, as they replayed footage from Qualifying with Barrichello’s errant rear “Heave” spring circled as it hurtled towards the totally unsuspecting Massa! As later, somewhere in the multitude of reporting I heard that the force of impact against Felipe’s helmet was estimated at 1,600 pounds… Ah, SHIT! That cannot be good, eh?

And thus afterwards I jumped back on the blower and found an updated AP story giving further insight into Felipe’s tenuous condition, which he’s now making remarkable gains from, having recently heard that he’s now answering the Doctor’s in three languages and most likely will walk out of the Budapest Military Hospital in around 10 days… As obviously I hope for the best, especially since the 28yr old Brazilian has just previously announced his wife’s pregnancy as they’re expecting their first child in November.

Massa update

Brazilian Trifecta?

Perhaps Apex Brasilia will wish to rethink its overabundance of advertising after this past weekends NOT so good fortunes thrust upon three of its “Mega” Sports Stars…

As we’re all aware of, first off Felipe Massa suffered a horrific shunt eerily reminiscent of Ayrton’s, which thankfully it appears he’ll survive. Next up was “TK; Follow your Nose Super Schunaaz’s” very scary incident in Edmonton, Canada… When Tony Kanaan’s car caught on fire during a pit stop, of which ‘Ol Mad Dog TK seemingly has escaped without any serious injuries and has already stated he’ll be racing this Saturday night in Kentucky! Certainly was nice to see the Penske, Panther and TCGR Boyz all quickly come to Tony’s rescue, eh?

And then lastly, Football, Err Soccer Superstar Cristiano Ronaldo, who apparently just got a “Mega” multi-millions ($107m) 6yr deal, (which will see the 24yr old Foot baller earning 33 times more then the average Spaniard) to transfer to Real Madrid from Manchester United, broke two bones in his wrist during only his second outing with his new squad on Sunday.

And somebody’s been telling me of how bad things happen in Three’s, so hopefully Brazil’s outta the woods for awhile, eh?