Time to begin another Arduous Formula 1 season

As can somebody stop Max Blunderhead’s reign?

 

Full disclosure, I didn’t pay any Attenzione to this year’s “Winter Olympics”, ergo F1 testing at Bahrain, since I was on a Choo-choo train headed north during this three days outing. So don’t know the story lines, or how far off they are? Which we’ll get a glimpse of the “real” pecking order this coming weekend Down Under in Gory Melbourne, Mates!

 

If I’ve done my ryth-muh-tickin’ correctly? Thars’ an 80% turnover in F1 Driver lineups this season, with only two teams retaining last year’s drivers.

 

Formula 1 is true “Blood Sport”, where the first objective is to beat your teammate! Thus, one of the biggest story lines is how Lewis Hamilton does at His new team la Scuderia, aka Ferrari vs. Charles Leclerc. And how Ferrari does in general vs. its F1 Constructors Championship rivals, i.e.; McLaren, Mercedes and Red Bull.

 

McLaren are the defending Constructors Champion, having won their first title since Gory 1998! And retain Lando Norris, who finished Vice-champion, Err runner-up to Max Verstappen for the Drivers Championship last year. Along with Oscar Piastri, with both McLaren drivers winning their maiden Grands Prix last season.

 

Aston Martin is the only other F1 Team staying status quo with drivers Fernando Alonso and Lance Stroll. While the team’s reshuffled its engineering core, along with the arrival of Adrian Newy…

 

Mercedes has opted for the services of 18yr old F1 rookie Andrea Kimi Antonelli as Hamilton’s replacement alongside George Russell.

Arse-sumedly everyone knows about Red Bull’s dismissal of Checo’, nee Sergio Perez in favour of Liam Lawson this season. As the Kiwi’ has His work cut out for Him a la All of Max Blunderhead’s (Verstappen) previous teammates! And with just eleven Grands Prix starts to His name, pretty sure this will be an uphill slog…

 

Alpine, which claimed sixth overall last season largely due to their impressive 2-3 finish at Sao Paolo. Sees Jack Doohan, who made His F1 debut at last year’s Abu Dhabi season finale join Pierre Gasly.

 

Aas sports a brand new line-up with the arrival of Esteban Ocon from Alpine, and rookie Oliver Bearman. As Bearman deputized for Carlos Sainz Jr. at Ferrari and Kevin Magnussen at Haas last year as both team’s reserve driver, and is highly rated by team principal Ayao Konatsu…

 

Racing Bulls keeps Yuki Tsunoda, who most likely is in His final season in Formula 1? Being “tied” to Honda, who become Aston Martin’s Werd’s Power Unit (PU) supplier for 2026. Where reserve driver Felipe Drugovich has been waiting years for either Alonso or Stroll Jnr’ to depart. While rookie Isack Hadjar takes Liam Lawson’s vacated seat.

 

Sauber sports an all new line-up with the arrival of Nico Hulkenberg from Haas, along with the addition of rookie Gabriel Bortoleto, before the team becomes fully rebranded as Audi in 2026.

 

Lastly, another major story line will be how much can Carlos Sainz Jr. right Willimas floundering ship? As the storied Grove based F1 team struggled Ah-Mighty’ with multiple destroyed and crash damaged chassis last year! As Sainz moves from Ferrari, having to make way for Sir Lewis.

 

Didn’t bother reading the article, but saw the headline proclaiming that current Williams driver Alexander Albon is keen to see how He stacks up against Sainz? For which I think Albon’s going to have a somewhat rude awakening!

 

Although I definitely expect for Williams to not finish last in this year’s Constructors Championship, but time will tell…

 

Meanwhile, being in the final year’s current chassis regulations, hopefully we’ll have another Cracking year of competition! Before another total reset for 2026’s E-e-E-lectrified Formula 1 racecars…

 

Notably, the single point for Fastest lap during a race has been abolished. While drivers and chassis will gain a further two kilograms minimum weight requirements. With drivers now up to 82kg, and chassis up to 800kg.

 

A driver cooling (system) Kit will be made mandatory at “Hot”, extreme Heat races, when the FIA predicts a race will be over 30.5C, with chassis minimum weight being increased a further five kilograms (805kg) to compensate for said equipment. While the Drag Reduction System’s (DRS) “Slot-gap” dimensions will be reduceds along with the DRS system’s functionality…

 

Teams will also be required to run Young Drivers during Free  Practice sessions twice per racecar, up from once previously.

 

Once again, six Sprint races will be held over the season, beginning at Shanghai. Followed by Miami, Spa-Francorchamps, Circuit Of The Americas, Sao Paolo and Qatar.

 

As that’s a very brief rundown of what to look for this Sunday; Err Saturday night Stateside at the Australian Grand Prix. Round One of an insane 24! With the season concluding on December 7th upon Yas Isle. In what will be the final season of ESPN television coverage…

 

As Always, Check your local TV listings for times and locations! 

RETRO: IMSA Racecars from A past Horse track

Although these Prototype “Horses” ran far faster than Seabiscuit…

 

Having tuned into nearly 15 hours of this year’s Rolex 24. I’m reminded of how far IMSA has come from it’s initial GTP era. Which I suppose you could say that Dan Gurney’s All conquering Eagle MKIII “Four-banger” prototype killed…

 

Following reading Laura Hillenbrand’s most excellent book Seabiscuit: An American Legacy last December, which I chronicled in the following No Fender tome.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2025/01/when-horse-outweighed-horsepower.html

 

This shot me down another Wabbit’ Hole regarding my one and only visit to Del Mar’s 1.6-mile temporary “Stadium” race course. Which I only have two vague memories of now. That being those Jaguar XJR-10’s turbo chirpiness! And taking a picture of that beautiful looking gold and white Miller Highlife Busby Racing BFGoodrich Porsche 962.

 

Comparing ‘n contrasting the 1989 Del Mar race held in the Fairgrounds parking lot vs. the upcoming 12 Hours of Sebring’s IMSA GTP field sees virtually the same number of GTP entries; 14 vs. 13 Also being a split of normally aspirated and turbocharged motors. With eight Camel Lights vs. a dozen or less LMP2 entrants.

 

Yet I suppose you could say the stakes are higher today, with virtually no privateer entries. Just the lone $2.9m Proton Competition customer Porsche 963 vs. six customer entries Wayback’ when…

 

Camel Grand Prix of Southern California

IMSA GT Championship

Date: October 22, 1989

Duration: 2 Hours

Round 20 of 20

 

Entrants

Porsche 962C; (4) Spice SE89P; (4) Jaguar XJR-10; (2) Nissan GTP ZX-T; (2) 1 All American Racers Eagle HF89 (1)  and one unheard of ALBA AR9 Buick = 14 total GTP entries, with a further eight Lights Prototypes in the “mix” = 22 total entries

 

Race Highlights

The race was broadcast on ESPN with Bruce Flanders and John Morton in the Booth. Whilst it was funny hearing Chris Economaki trying to make something out of nothing over the young Wayne Taylor’s “Shock” pole position during the pre-race preamble. As Economaki couldn’t get Geoff Brabham to bite, with the Aussie’ saying He wasn’t surprised at all by the Spice’s being on the front row…

 

(Chris Economaki and Ralph Sheheen were the Pit reporters)

 

Taylor, then 33yrs old, claimed pole with His Spice SE89P Pontiac Firebird 5.4-litre V-8. While Bob Earl aboard a Spice SE89P with a 6.0-litre Chevrolet V-8 lined up alongside Taylor, seeing Spice lock-out the front row.

 

Spice Engineering ran two of it’s Factory SE89P Pontiac Firebird racecars for the aforementioned Wayne Taylor, in the No. 34. Who was apparently paired with Scott Atchison, albeit no idea if the latter actually raced? As Taylor led from the “Get go” for the first 22-laps? Before Earl passed Him for the lead. Before Taylor’s Pontiac Done Blown Up! As ‘Ol Hobbo’, nee HobsCapp’, aka David Hobbs would say…

 

The Seester’ #33 Spice Engineering entry was driven by Costas Los, Say Who? Retiring on lap-69 due to an accident.

 

Jeff Kline drove a “Ex Works” Koll Motorsports privateer Spice Pontiac entry, finishing an unheralded P16.

 

Whilst the best of the Spice entries was Bob Earl, who started second, led for awhile before ultimately finishing third overall, driving for Jim Miller Racing.

 

Electramotive Engineering’s All conquering Nissan GTP ZX-Turbo’s had already ended Porsche’s reign by winning the 1989 IMSA GT Manufacturers Championship with ten wins; six for its No. 83 and four for its NO. 84. With the driver title up for grabs between Geoff Brabham and Nissan teammate Chip Robinson.

 

As Brabham and Robinson had scored six W’s together, with Brabham netting a further three solo vs. robinson’s one win. With Robinson leading the points battel 219 to 215 entering Del Mar.

 

Brabham started third and led late into the race before erring on the side of caution over a braking issue, finishing runner-up and claiming the Drivers title. While Robinson’s race had gone up in “smoke!” Chasing Brabham all race long after starting sixth. Robinson snapped a driveshaft on lap-59, ending His championship hopes.

 

Four privateer Porsche 962C’s contested the race, with a brace of Joest Racing cars entered for Jean-Lous Ricci and Henri Pescarolo in the #0, and Frank Jelinski in the “Double buckshot”. (#00)

 

Whilst my Home town Bayside Racing’s No. 86 Panzerwagen with Jochen Mass at its keyboard was the highest finisher in fifth, one place ahead of the #0 Joest.

 

The No. 67 Busby Racing Porsche 962C that won that year’s 24 Hours of Daytona, saw Bob Wollek and John Andretti finishing a quiet P13. Whilst the “Double Zero” Joest Panzerwagen finished a lowly 20th due to an accident.

 

Willy t. Ribbs drove the lone All American Racers (AAR) Eagle HF89, the team’s and Toyota’s first GTP chassis to a fourth place finish after starting P4.

 

Tom Walkinshaw Racing (TWR) ran two Castrol liveried Jaguar XJR-10’s for Jan Lammers (#60) and Price cobb. (#61)

 

Lammers who started seventh, quietly worked His way forwards, before pouncing upon Brabham at Turn-1, the course’s 10/11 turns best passing opportunity on a late race restart, and with Brabham locking up, Lammers motored to the chequered flag!

 

Meanwhile, Cobb, who’d started ahead of Lammers quietly soldiered home in seventh. While the “Mach 5: (#5) totally unknown of DeBlasi Racing’s ALBA AR9 Buick turbo machine finished eighth. Which I’ll try chronicling in another of my countless No Fenders stories… 

F1: Talking Turkey, Las Vegas style

        What’s that well used slogan ‘bout What Happens in Las Vegas, Uhm Stays in Vegas…

 

Perhaps it’s just Mwah? But I was simply Cornfuzed over the time F1, ostensibly Liberty Media decided to host it’s inaugural “Ninety Nine percent” Showcase Las Vegas Grand Prix at.

 

Here upon the West coast, you needed to have a score card to keep track of the Dizzying’ (Walt Disney) Network of Shopping channels Formula 1 was being aired upon. With Thursday night’s FP1 (Free Practice) on le Deusch’, aka ESPN2 at 8:25PM Pacific. And FP2 on ESPN at 11:55PM; both being One Hour and five minutes duration.

 

Friday’s FP3 session was on ESPN U at 8:25PM before Qualie’ bounced over to ESPN at 11:55PM; both being 65mins airings. Before the race on Saturday Nite’, what’s that Sir Elton? (John) About Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting…

 

With Saturday night’s TV coverage with the ridiculous 85mins Preamble beginning at 8:30PM Pacific. Followed by race coverage starting at 9:55PM, lasting for a further Two Hours and five minutes, provided No Red flags or Safety Cars were deployed!

 

Having never been real good on ryth-Muh-tickin’, with No Fenders Offical’ Potographer Carpets constantly reminding Mwah that Indianapolis, along with the desired East Coast TV market is plus three Hours ahead of the West Coast. Meaning that the race itself won’t see the Starting lights going Green until a skosh after 1AM Eastern!

 

Making me wonder who’s this race really being held for? The vaunted U.S. market that’s being discussed Ad Nausea? Or instead for the British to have something to watch during their breakfast instead?

 

As that was before Thursday night’s Debacle! Y’all know when a concrete “frame” came loose around a Manhole cover that caught out an unexpecting Carlos Sainz Jr! Effectively writing off His Ferrari SF23 chassis after only eight minutes of Free Practice 1! Not to mention also seriously damaging Estabon Ocon’s Alpine when the Frenchman too collided with the errant Manhole cover, WHAMOE!

 

As I find it totally inconceivable that Sainz was forced to incur a 10-place Grid Penalty for excessive PU (Power Unit) components usage due to this accident, and not of His own making! And that the FIA has No Force Majure clause in it’s sporting regulations for such outcomes!

 

And do Not even get me started on the El Stupidio’, Err Stupendous Olympic themed Opening Ceremonies Bullshit! Y’all know when Max Verstappen said He felt like a Clown!

 

As a Huge part of Mwah wanted to simply Boycott “watching”, Err listening to any of the Las Vegas Grand Prix weekend’s theatrics!

 

Although like watching a train wreck or really bad traffic accident. I was semi-intrigued over how Horrific the Pre-race Rope-ah-dope F1 Driver introductions would be?

 

And it sounded like that many of the insanely overpriced “Hospitality” Grand Stand seats would be empty! While General Admission tickets were sold out, with would be Fans clambering for more GA availability! Especially if Y’all gotta pay to stay in some Vegas Strip’s Hotel? Not to mention Air Fare and presumably a rental car to boot?

 

And that was before the possibility of All of the major Hotel’s Chefs being on Strike, Gobble-Gobble!

 

Not to mention the CEO of Liberty Media taking the extraordinary step of publicly Apologizing to the local Las Vegas residents for the Disruption to their Daily lifes! All of which made me Flash back to Phoenix, Arizona’s Iceberg Grand Prix! Which was much unloved by locals for the same reasons. Not to mention being outdrawn by a rival Ostrich Festival!

 

https://www.grandprix.com/news/liberty-issues-public-apology-for-las-vegas-f1-chaos.html

 

Although I’m not sure how much of an “Apology” Gregory Maffei was making by telling the people of Las Vegas that His event would net them $1.7b as in Billion! Revenue for hosting the event.

 

Now may be I’m still cornfuzed, But? Liberty Media’s trumpeting how they want to make Las Vegas’s Grand Prix the Bestest Fan experience ever! But with General Admission tickets reportedly costing $1,156.00, which basically equates to $400 per day being sold out. And Grandstand tickets starting at an outrageously eye watering $11,247.00! Which Fans are Liberty Media pandering too? And Yes, I realize it’s a business, but five nights minimum stay in a Hotel, Yada-Yada-Yada!

 

Not to mention racing in 50 degrees Fahrenheit with Rain expected! Along with Yuhs know it, Stupendous Drivers introduction just makes me shake my Head in Disgust, and wonder who is this race really for?

 

Having been a true Fan of Formula 1 for nearly 40 years now, and supporting F1 Stateside thru it’s “lean” times when nobody but Hard core Fans followed it. I find myself completely turned off by the Disgusting Spectale’ Liberty Media’s turned this Bombastic Grand Prix Uhm, race into!

 

And with it’s truly being “99% Show and 1% Sporting Event!” I personally decided to Boycott “watching”, Err listening to Any of the weekend’s TV coverage, which is one of the few reasons I still pay an outrageous amount for Cable TV…

 

As I’d say I made the right choice for at least Thursday night’s Blunder, err “show”. As (Free Practice) FP2 was delayed two and a half Hours in order to inspect All of the track’s Manhole covers! With Fans being forced to go Home instead of attending the 2:30AM Pacific start time, for an extended 90mins practice. Because of a lack of Security personnel! With practice ending at Gory 4AM, WTF!

 

Whilst I was doing a rain dance in Oregon for Friday night’s Qualie’ session…

 

As I far more care about the MotoGP Championship instead! And simply tuned into Sunday’s 90mins “packaged” Qatar Grand Prix instead. Where the temperatures were cooler than Formula One’s Farcical event in October! Not to mention being a far more competitive Sporting event… 

ESPN Plays Naughty Trick upon Newsline!

As where’s ‘Ol Vincent Price when Yuhs Need Him?

 

Presumably most of Y’all aren’t aware of what Newsline is? Unless you’ve read Here upon No Fenders about the NFB’s Newsline for The Blind Telephone Service that your Blind Word Butcherer’ uses on a Daily basis!

 

Newsline for The Blind is a Great service that reads a multitude of National and International Newspapers, along with multiple Magazines, utilizing a small choice of Computerized Speech voices. Since if you’re Blind like your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso is, then it’s pretty G-Damn’ Hard to read actual, printed text font, especially 8-size Font, Crikeys!

 

Thus one of the many choices I used to enjoy listening to Daily, and specifically each morning was the ESPN Online Motorsports Headlines section, until it was erroneously Scrambled by the IT boffins’ at ESPN!

 

I have been using the service for nearly Twenty years now, and it’s been a constant Struggle to keep the various Newspapers and Magazines I look forward to working Correctly!

 

As I’m sure that the person at Newsline who used to answer my emails on a regular basis has long since grown tired of my constantly Badgering Him over what the latest item that’s Not working on the system!

 

As I really Don’t know who’s Fault it is, other than as Queen Danica once famously Bemoaned: “It’s Not My Fault!”

 

As the ESPN Online “Magazine?” Uhm News source from Newsline Breaking News section just suddenly Quit working on Bastille Day’, Y’all know Wayback on July 14th! And I sent in another customary email early the next week, before the system added the Prompt saying They were Aware of the Problem and trying to Restore Service.

 

As I can only Arse-sume, the NFB’s Newsline service must have a very Small amount of Workers, since Nothing had happened to rectify the issue causing the entire ESPN Online News source to Not work! As I sent in a second email six weeks later noting Nothing Had Happened! Which Gee Wally, I cannot understand why I Didn’t get a reply to this, go Fish, err Figure, Eh?

 

So we passed the Two months threshold of the ESPN Online Motorsports Headlines section Not being Functional just prior to my Departing on my Glorious Pretty-boy Floyd 24 Dazes Holiday Wayback on September 19^th, making me think that this Great source of Motorsports News Ain’t ever coming back, Urgh!

 

Upon my return, the system now has a notice stating that They’ve lost Access to this Publication and Are looking for a Strategy to Restore It, Seriously? Like it’s Over three Gory Months now - Jokers!

 

As what I’ve learned over the years is that these types of issues are typically caused by the News source’s provider changing it’s Computer Coding and making it Not compatible with whatever antiquated system Newsline utilizes!

 

But if Y’all cannot already Deduce, this is a Crock of Shit! As why are the Blind and Visually Impaired Always getting Screwed?

 

Another great magazine on Newsline I used to look forward to, even if it was only offered Bi-monthly was the National Air and Space Museum’s Air and Space magazine. Which Sadly, went to a Quarterly publication for which Newsline lost Access to at the end of December, 2021, bummer!

 

Whilst another magazine selection that seems to continuously go Off Kilter is the Car and Driver selection, as it went “Silent” the entire month of September before being restored in October which now has August-September-October All on the November 1st edition…

 

 

 

But Seriously? It was a Gory 109 Days as of Halloween! Which is nearly Half of Indy Cars yearly Off-season and ESPN and Newsline cannot figure out How to rectify this problem? Especially since last time I checked, Stick ‘N Ball Sports are pretty Damn Mainstream! So Come On whomever It’s Fault is! Fix the Bloody ESPN Online News service El Pronto! 

Douched Again by ESPN!

As it’s the ‘Ol Stick ‘N Ball Switcheroo,Stee-rike!

 

So apparently if you want to watch Formula 1 Stateside, Y’all know that ‘lil racing series that’s Peaking Off the Charts due to that epic Netflix Reality series The Real Housewifes of F1… Then Y’all better Bloody well get up at Oh Dark 30 for the live Broadcast or else Yuhs might get Sopping Wet!

 

As what a  bunch of Bullshit! I Didn’t spend the morning waiting patiently for the two Hours Alpo Fly Dog Relay Ruf Ruf Puppydog Show from Indiana to finish, just in order for an El Stupidio programming change to Men’s College Baseball game between the Georgia Bulldogs and Alabama Crimson Tide you Jackarses!

 

As my Zap2It TV Guide said that the Formula 1 Emilia Romagna Grand Prix would be replayed on ESPNews at 11AM Pacific, which sounded much more soothing than getting up at Gory 6AM for the live TV Broadcast on the Flagship ESPN channel.

 

As the Puppydog show ended and two Blathering Sportscasteers began Prattling on about the Georgia Bulldogs I just sat there in Disbelief and began spewing Out loud you Mother Fuckers!

 

As what’s that ‘Ol Who song about Won’t get Fooled Again? Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss…

 

As I sit here typing away Fuming, I’m wondering if ESPNews will conveniently be replaying the F1 race at 2PM Pacific solely to make it go Head to Head with the CNBC Tape Delayed TV Broadcast of the Portugal MotoGP race, you Douchebags!

 

Since I’d planned on a lazy Day “Watching,” Err first listening to the F1 “Encore” Presentation with the Mothers Shoe Polish lady immediately followed by the MotoGP race…

 

Yep! That’s absolutely the Ticket! Since after returning to Thy Telie’ at 12:23PM ESPNews was playing some  X Games Skateboarding Show. And then for Humour, turning the Boob Tube back on at 1:36PM, Sky sports F1’s Kroftie’, aka David Kroft and Paul di Resta filled my speakers with a wet parade lap taking place in Imola. As it’s Lights Out at 1:36 Friggin’ PM you Dirty, Filthy Bastardoes!

 

Meaning Once again, we’ve been Douched by ESPN! Ahem, who’s F1 Contract is up at season’s end, since they seem to be treating it just like Indy Cars, obviously right now I say Good Riddance!

 

Even if Liberty Media’s hoping to Gouge the Shit outta whoever lands the new U.S. F1 TV Contract, which Liberty’s hoping to inflate to an Insane $75 million per year TV Rights Fee! Which naturally, those prices will be passed along to the consumer…

 

As may be, just may be it’ll be time to finally Stop caring about Formula 1?

 

As Shame On You ESPN and Liberty Media!