When the Lights go Dark on Amtrak!

Tomaso with His “service” Dog Hang-10’ Hilo waiting for the train. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

And that’s got Nothing to do with El Presidente giving this Government Agency the Midas touch!

 

Ah Matey’s, here’s another soothing lullaby about a somewhat typical, Madcap 13 hours trek homewards…

 

Not to mention Microsoft’s Office being persnickety per usual! Since no matter what I do to try changing the text below to my normal font settings, it won’t save it, Sigh!

 

Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen told me to set my talking keychain clock’s alarm for Gory 5:15AM, Crikeys!

 

Ah, the joys of Island life, as this included being early for the 6:20AM Ferry back to Ye “Mainland”. Before an El Stupidio breakfast at IHOP at 7:00AM. As the cook was incredulous when our chirpy waitress told Himn my order. As I ended up paying $15.43 for a plain egg breakfast Burrito; asking to “Hold” the bacon, ham and Snazzauges’ I Don’t eat following my Heart surgery…

 

As I highly doubt we’ll ever do that again, especially since it took 40mins! Before scurrying to the nearby train station where I barely had time to use the Loo’ before boarding the 8:00AM Cascades Express train to Eugene. With the train being early and leaving at 8:00AM sharp from the Tacoma train station, all Aboard!

 

Suppose I should have known something was up, Eh? Since I swear there was zero Heat turned on from Tacoma to Portland, albeit we “flew” south to Portland in 2Hrs 45mins, including four stops in-between.

 

Whilst I’m glad I’ve long since figured out where the bathroom door’s lock is, since twice people tried opening the door as we sat for an half hour in Portland. Making me flash-back to the first time I’d ever ridden this type of train and not knowng how to lock the door, Surprise! As the door opened upon Mwah in the middle of you know what when headed to Vancouver, BC decades ago, but I digress…

 

Yet strangely, when I tried calling Mary Ellen on my cell phone twice whilst parked in Portland I couldn’t dial out or get Her number to ring, WTF? As this was an apparent sign of things to come…

 

Approaching Oregon City, OR, our Conductor made the first of multiple announcements, telling us that our train was currently experiencing electrical maladies – including no WiFi’ or HVAC, i.e.; Heating/Cooling, or power to the business class seats. Although it smelled like dust burning briefly when waiting at Portland, when I finally felt heat coming up from the heat register alongside my seat…

 

Following Oregon city, the Conductor announced that the train was just running on electricity; that’s what I believe He said. Although I did Arse-sume correctly that it was a Diesel Electric locomotive pulling us…

 

Saying they’d troubleshooted everything possible to no avail, i.e.; Fuse breakers, Computer reboot, etc. And were going to try one more outside train fix at our next stop in Salem, whatever that meant?

 

Arriving at Salem sometime before 12:28PM; time of the first of two emails sitting in my Inbox when I got home that evening, alerting me of our train issues, Uh Duh!

 

Our Conductor said we’d be staying put there until receiving permission to proceed. Since we didn’t wish to become stranded somewhere between Salem and Eugene with no pick-up possible, like Marion. And He’d give us further updates when

Possible, with Management working on Plan B, whatever that was?

 

Telling us we were allowed to leave the train to stretch our legs if desired, but should remain nearby the train. And then the female Café worker told us She’d put out complimentary water and snack packs for us. While those remaining seated around me “Cheered” when the lights went on. With somebody said whatever they’d wiggled, worked! Meaning I’d had no idea we’d been riding in the Dark for awhile, Hya! Or if this was a momentary fix?

 

After a half hour’s plus of sitting on the train, (sometime after 1:05PM) our Conductor made an announcement I’ve never experienced before in all my decades of riding Amtrak. Announcing that our train had now been Cancelled and would be going no further than Salem! Due to electrical Gremlins, two stops north of our final destination Eugene.

 

Our Conductor said He’d be passing thru the train to take a roll call of those remaining and that a bus was on it’s way to transport us to our final destination in 20-25mins.

 

Then the same female Café worker made a further announcement saying we could take whatever food we wanted from the Diner Car since it would have to be thrown away that evening. But this didn’t include any Alcohol…

 

The Conductor who handled the whole procedure remarkably well in a calm, firm but polite manner told me that yes, I’d make my Link Lane Shuttlebus connection from Eugene to Florence before escorting me off the train and into the adjacent Salem train station.

 

Then another Amtrak employee escorted me outside to stand against a concrete wall to line-up for boarding the soon arriving bus.

 

Next a friendly female employee asked for everybody to wait to allow the visually impaired rider to board first. As She guided me up the bus’s multiple steps and into a front row seat. Before our bus filled up and off we went on the Highway south to Albany and then finally Eugene, arriving at 3:12PM approx. Or roughly an hour and one-half after our trains scheduled arrival. With the bus ride taking approx. 1Hr 45mins…

 

Did the ‘Ol college try at the train’s ‘lil Boys room before another friendly female Amtrak agent escorted me outside. Taking my suitcase for Mwah, and placing me underneath the building’s overhang to be out of the rain while waiting approx. 20mins for the Shuttlebus to arrive.

 

Then the man standing to my right with His wife offered to load my suitcase aboard the Shuttlebus. While it’s driver, the famous Jethro’ sat motionless, didn’t budge a muscle or even call out the Shuttle to me! Presumably the only Blind person who utilizes it? Although perhaps He thought I was traveling with the others?

 

This kind man also helped me aboard, with His wife directing me to an empty seat, while He told Jethro He had one more bag to load…

 

And then this same, kind, Good Samaritan repeated the process for me when we arrived at our destination in Bumfuddle’ Florence, where I awaited the local taxi to pick me up and complete the day’s arduous journey!

 

Amtrak subsequently sent us an email apology for any inconvenience. And then sent us a travel voucher for a future train trip , which I didn’t even ask for. Since All I’d cared about was catching the day’s final Shuttle which I did; so No Harm, No Foul as far as I was concerned…

 

And we didn’t even get delayed or detoured when riding the Shuttlebus. Even though we did pass a car that had crashed into a roadside ditch on our way home!

 

As that’s another typical adventure for Mwah, which it amazes me that I always make All of my connections and get back home with the assistance of kind strangers. As I really enjoy riding the train, and dearly Hope there won’t be any Staff reductions or loss of service in the future! 

The Perks of being A Blind Traveler

An upright, mobile Tomaso poses with a brace ‘O Prancing Horses. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

What do you mean, I can’t take my Easter Basket thru Security?

 

Yeah, as I’m surrounded to the tranquil sounds of a chainsaw, Timber! Hopefully just “pruning” the bushes? As I prefer my shade trees, Numbskulls! And in lieu of hunting for chocolate Bunnies, Marshmallow Peeps, Jellybeans, etc. I thought I’d serenade Y’all with this Easter tale of woe. Or should that be Lake woebegone?

 

This March I went to Arizona, being the first time I’ve flown on a Big ‘Ol Jetliner post Open Heart surgery, for which I was somewhat apprehensive over going thru security now with “metal” in my body. As not only do I have a mechanical heart valve, to which I have zero clue over it’s materials composition, but supposedly also carry stainless steel “bailing” wire around my sternum that was cut in half…

 

SO I asked the friendly Check-in Agent, who breezily said to tell TSA when I got to security. Then I awaited my “Chariot”, Err wheelchair to take me to my Gate. Since I’ve long since given up “fighting” over going by wheelchair thru crowded airports, which really is the easiest way for all involved.

 

Thus, a very no-nonsense, curt, All business woman briskly pushed me to my Gate, first going thru security. As I repeated my inquiry about my heart valve when handing my ticket and ID to the first security worker, who once again just said tell TSA.

 

Now in years past, after I’ve removed my shoes, put them, my folding white cane, backpack, etc. into the bins for screening, I’ve always been allowed to walk thru the X-Ray machine with the assistance of a TSA worker guiding me thru by taking my hand. Yet little did I know this wouldn’t be an option on this trip! For which I wasn’t even asked about, or given the option. Which I must say I found disconcerting…

 

But first I had to deal with the woman assisting me, who was very gruff and apparently didn’t understand what being Blind means? Curtly telling me to put my boots in the bin, on the table. Uhm, Hello? Do you realize I’m Freakin’ blind and cannot see the table or bin sister! As the “fun” was only beginning!

 

Little did I know that I’d be receiving a full body pat-down. With the TSA security worker explaining how He would be running the back of His hand in a horizontal and vertical motion over my groin and buttocks, Swell! After telling me to raise my arms up and hold them like somebody on a cross. Hey, after all the Easter Bunny does make Her yearly appearance today, Righto?

 

Telling me I could remain seated in the wheelchair, but to hold my arms up as He ran His hands over them, before patting down both the front and back of my torso, beginning with my backside…

 

Before  He got to my buttocks, He inserted His fingers inside my jeans waistband. Yo Dude, you’re getting a Wee bitamyte’ Frisky! Before asking me to slide to the right and left of the chair, and raise my buttocks into the air for Him. As I lifted one butt cheek at a time, before it was time for my frontal lobotomy, Err probe of my groin, Ooh la lah! Before He thoroughly patted down my legs to my ankles on both sides, with All of this “screening” occurring in full public view, since I’d declined the “privacy” screening…

 

And as I sat there being frisked, I suddenly realized that I’d brought my metal Hiking water bottle fully filled. Musing to myself kiss that goodbye! Before a female security agent pleasantly asked if I’d like Her to empty it for me? Yes, that would be wonderful, after She’d inquired if I had water inside it? Not only putting it back into the plastic bag I had it in, to prevent having a wet backpack. But also put the twisty “zip-tie” back on it…

 

Then my friendly wheelchair attendant, HaHa! Told me to put on my boot, which you guessed it, were on the table, Sigh! And then just pushed me to my Gate, said it’s right in front of you and simply walked off without saying a word.

 

Parked at my Gate a half hour before boarding, suddenly Southwest Airlines made a Gate change announcement for my flight, as my waiting area simply became a Ghost town with me being the only person left there in my forlorn wheelchair, WTF? Wondering if somebody was going to “collect” me? But nothing happened…

 

As I started to get a little bit concerned after they’d made the second Gate change announcement for my flight and I still sat alone. Hearing what sounded like an Airport worker nearby, I unfolded my cane and prudently called out to this lone man in the concourse. Hearing His walkie talkie squawking “Airport-speak”, asking if He worked here? Who then summoned somebody to come get me, take me to the new Gate, which thankfully I made my flight!

 

Ah Contrair, the fun’s just beginning, as that was only round one of going thru security.

 

And it’s funny, Haha? How each airport does their security screening. Since in Phoenix I didn’t bother to remove my portable CD player from my backpack. Hey, everybody still uses those, Righto? But Gee Wally! My backpack made it fine thru the x-ray machine without removing it, which I’d done in Seattle…

 

Yep, you guessed it. Once again, I got to be up close ‘n personal with a TSA security agent for another wheelchair pat-down. Although I had zero clue that this would be an enhanced full body pat-down! Being the youngest of the three wheelchair bound travelers; with a woman who was 81 and a man 72, I just sat there parked alone for several minutes.

 

Then two agents approached me and asked if I had anything to declare? Telling them about my heart valve and bailing wire, they asked if I was able to stand for 4-7mins?

 

Standing upright, once again I got to spread my arms like being on a cross. Before the one man said I could put them down after He’d seen my one hand shaking apparently? After they’d been thoroughly patted down.

 

Now, not only did I get to have my buttocks and groin patted down with the backs of His palms. But this time they had me give myself a “wedgie!” Asking me to pull my jeans waistband up as high as it would go and then hold it there!

 

Yet first I needed to remove the empty plastic produce bag I’d forgotten was in my rear pants pocket. With the agent asking if I could remove it for Him please. Which He handed back to me later…

 

As I hiked up my jeans, holding them by the empty belt loop on each side, once again a hand slipped inside my waistband front and back. And then He asked me if I could spread my legs? A little further, please…

 

As the second man then instructed the one patting me down, where to  thoroughly frisk me. Making me guess He must have been in training? He lightly “caressed” the insides of my groin down to my ankles before I could put my legs back together. Then said I could get back into the wheelchair, before my much friendlier male wheelchair attendant collected me.

 

Putting on my boots, the other male wheelchair bound member of our trio, who’d apparently watched these proceedings  bemusedly proclaimed to Mwah afterwards: My Gawd, I didn’t know I was traveling with Osama Bin laden!

 

Having watched the TSA agent search every inch of my body from neck to toes front and back thoroughly!

 

And that’s just a “small” flavour of some of my Blind travel Hijinx

 

As just don’t Call me Shirley! Roger-Roger. Guess I picked a Bad day to Quit sniffing Glue, Hya!

F1: Sainz Fined for last minute Bathroom run in Japan

As What can Brown do for You?

 

In another sign of just how out-of-touch Formula 1 is, I’m certain you’ve heard about Williams Racing Carlos Sainz Jr. Bathroom Fine of EU $10,000; approx. $11,340 USD for being a skosh’ late to the Japanese national anthem at Suzuka.

 

Even though an accredited Doctor confirmed that Sainz had had a stomach issue and He’d given the Spaniard medicine to rectify it, the FIA Fined Sainz anyways. Apparently expecting the driver to have an accident in His Firesuit instead!

 

As Sainz freely admitted He was five seconds late to the start of the national anthem, for which I’d say that Carlos wasn’t showing any disrespect to Japan at all. Just trying to deal with an honest medical issue beforehand.

 

Sainz, who was rightly peeved over the ridiculous fine mentioned in the Thursday press conference in Bahrain Shit Happens! Saying He hoped He wouldn’t be fined for saying such an offensive word…

 

As all I can say is “What Can Brown do For You?”

 

Seriously, the FIA is going out of its way with Draconion penalties for swearing or going to the bathroom before a race?

 

As I’m really trying very hard to not scribble about a driver being humiliated by having to stand for the national anthem with soiled shorts! Err FIA approved fireproof Nomex boxers, Oh Never Mind!

 

As this is ridiculous! And when will the FIA start treating the drivers like the Adults they are? And not fining them for going to the Potty’ or saying that provocative word S-H-I-T! 

Alien Shivers in Lone Star State

But at least like All Ghoulish Ghosts, He didn’t Break any bones!

 

Whale’, my original working title was COTA Ghost Haunts Marquez, or something to that effect. Although when attending multiple U.S. grands Prix at Circuit Of The Americas, I believe that Austin Sherpa Claudio told me that they were Aliens! Although back then I think that The doctor’, aka Valentino Rossi was the lead Alien, ci? With Jorge Lorenzo and Rossi’s arch nemesis Ye Pinball Wizard, aka Marc Marquez making up this trio of Kneedraggers’ who could simply do things out of this world on their Scooters!

 

Although before I attended those COTA rounds over a decade ago, the Aliens were known to be Rossi, Lorenzo, Casey Stoner and apparently even Danni Pedrosa was included…

 

Whilst don’t know about Y’all, but I’m getting really tired of playing TV Network Wackamole for MotoGP! And after first thinking that Tru TV was Dropping the Ball again, since I couldn’t find the Austin round of MotoGP on it’s programming lineup. I was surprised to discover that it was on Fox Sports now instead…

 

Although not sure how effective hosting the premiere Kneedraggers motorcycle racing on the planet on FS1 and FS2 is? Hmm, makes me think of IndyCar and Motorsports, sans NASCAR getting third or fourth preference, but I digress!

 

As others will already be far ahead of Mwah, since it wasn’t until after COTA that I discovered that Fox Sports had inked a multi-year contract to host MotoGP beginning this season. While I have to say that I found last year’s Tru TV and Turner Sports Simulcast of the former Eurosports coverage far superior…

 

Although I didn’t know about it until after Sunday, Ye Pinball Wizard reportedly had His first crash aboard the Werks’ Ducati during Friday practice, which sounds like it was an outlier of things to come, Eh?

 

During Saturday’s Sprint race, Marc Marquez left an ominous, long black rubber streak upon the circuit when He nearly went down during the beginning stages of the Sprint. When being harried by Pecco’ Bagnaia and brother Alex for the lead! Yet Marc managed to inexplicably save His “slide” by simply putting the Hammer down and romping off for what the announcers gushed over being “Five for Five, in 25!”

 

As Marquez had set history to that point, having claimed all three pole positions, all three Sprint races, and both Sunday races to date.

 

But All streaks must come to an end sometime, to which Marquez’s was no exception. Seemingly enroute to another dominating victory on Sunday, leading by a comfortable 2.2-seconds. Marquez planted His front tyre on the white kerbing which still had some Slippery liquids on it. Lost traction and control of His bike and presto-change-O-O-Oh’, Crashed whilst leading!

 

As I have to say I admired Marquez’s spirit and determination to not Quit, which is probably why He’s a multi-times MotoGP World Champion! Even though He’d destroyed His all important fairing, along with ripping off a footpeg. Marquez tried soldiering on in P18 and dropping for five more laps before retiring.

 

As the announcers prattled on about how you simply cannot ride a modern MotoGP bike without a fairing due to the incessant buffeting. Especially when you’re doing routine laps above 300 Clicks’, i.e.; over 186mph, Sheisa! Since I think they were reaching 200mph at COTA?

 

Whilst I haven’t even discussed the pre-race rain shower that reaked havoc upon the grid. As Fabio Quartararo crashed during a “sighting” lap when trying to navigate the wet Ash-fault’ on a “Dry” Scooter’, i.e.; dry, slick tyres. With satellite Yamahopper’ rider  (Jack) Thriller’ Miller stopping to pick up the French rider.

 

Have to say it was during that Saturday’s Sprint race when Marquez almost crashed that I began wondering to myself how long it will be until He crashes again? And how long until He injurs Himself again?

 

Since Sunday’s race saw Werks’ Ducati teammate Bagnaia picking up the pieces after having aggressively broken up the Marquez train, as the two Spanish riders have been glued together, finishing 1-2 in every event until Sunday! As Pecco’ had barged His way into second place before Marquez crashed out!

 

As have to say the rider I’m most impressed by early on is Alex Marquez, the younger and mostly overlooked brother of Marc. Who’s been outstanding on the satellite Gresini squad on it’s year old Desmosedici GP24 Duc’. Leaving Austin with the MotoGP championship points lead, by one marker ahead of His brother. Having finished Vice champion, Err runner-up in all six races…

 

Another rider who’s impressed Mwah is Japanese MotoGP rookie Ai Ogura, riding for the Trackhouse MotoGP Team, on the “second” tier Aprilia outfit’s bikes.

 

As believe He netted an impressive fourth place finish in the season opener at Thailand, and was sixth overall prior to Qatar. Where Aprilia’s top Dawg’ and reigning MotoGP Champion Jorge Martin will make His debut for the Italian manufacturer, having been medically cleared by MotoGP on Thursday, prior to Qatar’s Friday practice.

 

As it was just plain weird not having thee Martinator’ on the MotoGP grid these past three events. Since with a nickname like that, you’d Arse-sume’ He’d fall into thoust “Alien” category, Eh?

 

Although Jorge’s certainly being Haunted by the Ghouls of Christmas Past right now! 

Dempsey returns to Cockpit

As Dr. McDreamy returns to racing once again…

 

Yeah, Y’all might have noticed the struggle I’m currently experiencing in getting thoust IWG (Internal Writing Generator) to work proficiently. Or at peak 100% operating capacity since returning from my latest, fantastic three weeks sojourn to Warshington’ and Arizona, Chirp-chirp, Bueller?

 

Look Ma, No Danica Peaking Jokes included this time, Hya!

 

Having definitely felt like ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin’s frustrating race outing at the Thermal club lately. Albeit I having been Bangin’ Wheels with anybody like Sparky’, ergo Devlin DeFrancesco, Youch!

 

Whilst I didn’t catch the final portion of Felix-the-Cat’s flattering compliment ‘bout Sparky at The Beach either!

 

Since I suppose all sriters, including the few of us remaining IndyCar Bloggers suffer from the well known plight of “Writer’s Block” occasionally. For which I never consider it being that, always having more ideas and items to scribble about swimming round my mental Jukebox than I can ever poond out!

 

Nope, it’s just simply the fact of not feeling inspired or wishing to spend All day at the keyboard! Even if another motor racing season is now upon us, and about to ramp up to full output. I simply haven’t gotten excited about racing yet.

 

Even though I feel like I’m just relentlessly poondin’ away on Ye Selectric to have something ready for posting Justin-time’ these Dazes…

 

Enjoyed this brief interview Marshall Pruett posted recently on Racer with former Dr. McDreamy of Grays Anatomy, ergo Patrick Dempsey.

 

Ultimately it was to promote Dempsey’s Documentary, which I haven’t “watched”, Err listened to, and doubt I’ll ever get a chance. Since I still have zero inkling over how a Blind person’s supposed to do the Oh, so cool Daddy O’ streaming everyone does these days?

 

As there’s a trailer at the bottom of the article which I did listen to, but found it somewhat hard to follow audibly…

 

As here’s the link to Marshall’s Racer article, where Dempsey discusses being lured back to motor racing after playing the role of Piero Taruffi in Michael Mann’s excellent movie Ferrari! And driving alongside Porsche Factory Hotschue’ Patrick Long, also having His own racing renaissance.

 

https://racer.com/2025/03/14/how-patrick-dempsey-was-lured-back-behind-the-wheel/ 

Wickens Wait to race in IMSA finally ends

As it will be good to have thee plucky Kuhnuck’ back in a major racing series…

 

This weekend sees the long awaited debut of thee Young Wicky’, aka Robert Wickens in IMSA’s Grand Touring Daytona (GTD) competition, behind the keyboard of the No. 36 DXDT Corvette Z06 GT3.R.

 

Wickens alongside General Motors “Hired Gun” Tommy Milner tested the custom DXDT Vette’ at Sebring over two days back in March at Sebring International Raceway. With Wickens noting He was leaning heavily on Milner to learn the nuances of the Corvette, and wasn’t sure how long Milner would put up with His onslaught of questions? Saying He’d be using Milner as a sponge…

 

Arse-suming by now everybody knows of Wickens horrendous and life altering IndyCar crash at Pocono in August, 2018, leaving Him paralyzed from the waist-down.

 

As Wickens credits DXDT team owner David Askew for taking a risk upon Him and making the project happen. Along with General Motors getting onboard. As well as Pratt & Miller who fabricate the Z06 GT3.R racecars and Bosch who make His custom hand control driving ring work with it’s electronic ‘fly-by-Wire” braking system.

 

Robby said He’s been having to learn to readapt His driving style after racing the front wheel drive Hyundai Elantra in the Michelin Pilot Challenge Touring Car championship. Having won the TCR (Touring Car) title with co-driver Harry Gottsacker for Brian Herta Autosport (BHA) in 2023. The first major championship win for a Hand Controls adapted vehicle.

 

Wickens hasn’t competed at Long Beach since His rookie IndyCar season for Schmidt Peterson Motorsports in 2018. And hasn’t contested an IMSA race since driving in the LMP2 category during the 2017 rolex 24…

 

Back to driving a rear wheel drive Saloons’ vehicle for the first time in awhile, which naturally is a different Beast vs. the Dallara DW12 IndyCar He once piloted. Robby notes He was having to learn how to utilize traction control, which He’s never used before. As Wickens partnered with Bosch a year ago to design a bespoke hand control steering wheel system that can be adopted to multiple racing series and different racing makes. Allowing for Wickens and others, to not constantly have to relearn hand control systems every time they race a different vehicle.

 

Wasn’t aware that Milner, who most recently made waves by infamously giving BMW’s Agusto Farfus the universal “You’re No. 1” salute at Daytona, had raced for DXDT before. Winning an impressive eight races in the GT World Challenge America championship in 2024. Finishing “Vice Champion” George! Err runner-up in the Pro category with co-driver Alec Udell.

 

Robby and co-driver Milner are part of IMSA’s “Twin bill” with IndyCar this weekend at “the Beach”, nee Acura Grand Prix of Long Beach which is celebrating it’s 50th Anniversary.

 

The Long Beach weekend is covered on a menagerie ‘O TV Networks beginning this afternoon at 3PM Pacific on (Fox Sports) FS1, with IndyCar’s first practice.

 

Saturday sees IndyCa’s second practice on FS1 at 8:30AM. With Qualifying at 11:30AM on FS2. While IMSA’s 140mins race featuring just IMSA GTP and GTD competitors airs on USA Network at 2PM.

 

Sunday’s IndyCar’s morning warm-up is at 9:00AM on FS1, with the  race airing on the Flagship network FOX beginning at 1:30PM. While the command for Drivers, Start your Engines! Is listed for 1:15PM, according to the LBGPA schedule.

 

All times Pacific and subject to change; as Y’all try looking up this dearth ‘O information on your sometimes not updated Zap-2-It TV Guide! 

IndyCar 2025 season Changes

but will they Spice up the Show?

 

Yeah, this is old news, especially if you’ve been following IndyCar since the March 2nd St Pete kickoff. But once again, your Humble, but Haggard Head Scribe Tomaso simply cannot adequately Back-time’ everything to scribble about here upon No Fenders. Nor keep up with thoust Wurld de Motorsporten, Ja Volt!

 

Hey, Y’all try managing keeping track ‘O multiple racing series single handily on your ancient Selectric typewriter. Not to mention IndyCar tweaking it’s tyre allocation rules following St Pete for the Thermal Club’s cheese grader event! Due to the track’s super abrasive surface.

 

As here’s the major rule and regulation changes for this season.

 

Long Beach is the first of six races having their race distances altered. As this weekend’s event at The Beach adds five laps for a new total of 90-laps. With Mid-Ohio adding ten laps for a total of also 90-laps. While both of Iowa’s races add 25-laps for a total of 275. Toronto increases five laps for 90 total. And Nashville adds 19 for a total of 226-laps, in an effort to increase full “rich” race running. Taking away Scott Dixon’s fuel saving strategy He employed to win at Long Beach last year.

 

Firestone has changed it’s tyre allocation for Twisties’ race weekends, now seeing five sets of “Hard” primary and “Soft” alternates for road course and street circuits. With the exception of the previously mentioned Thermal club event, along with the Indianapolis road course event. Both reverting to last year’s allocation of six primary and four alternates.

 

Drivers will be allowed to run one set of alternates during Friday’s first practice, along with continuing the addition of one extra set of primary tyres for rookies. While Firestone was asked to provide a wider performance separation gap between the primary and alternate rubber compounds.

 

The 45mins “All Skate” session followed by the field split into two groups for 10min apiece sessions will continue this year at all road course and street circuit events.

 

A new, spec fuel meter has been mandated for this year’s competition, at the behest of engine manufacturers. As the mandatory fuel flow meter is produced by Sentronics, and is Slowsonic fuel flow meters are used in Formula 1, IMSA and World Endurance Championship competition.

 

In addition to the electronic LED race corner panels and safety workers local waving yellow flag. The in-cockpit yellow caution flag warning light will now be activated for these local caution flags to immediately warn drivers of an on-track yellow flag. Hoping to eliminate nasty (and costly) pile-ups like last year’s multi-car incident at Toronto’s Turn-1, caused by Pato O’Ward.

 

In the advent of a crash of 65G’s or higher, drivers custom molded seats and seat belts will be confiscated by IndyCar. As seat belts can stretch in such accidents, which the series already confiscated and destroyed these belts previously. While the driver seat confiscation adds a higher safety measure. The foam cockpit head-rest surround will also be inspected in such accidents, and then either deemed returnable or needing replacement.

 

Meanwhile, the Drivers Eye miniature helmet camera system will now only be utilized at four races this season. Possibly being tested at Long Beach during practice? In preparation for four drivers carrying the system in future races, i.e.; Barbers or Indy’s road course prior to the Indianapolis 500.

 

Yet with All of the on-screen graphics problems and Thermal Clubs Brownout, perhaps FOX will further delay this new wrinkle to its IndyCar TV coverage? 

F1: The Sting of Max

Ah, to “Float like A Butterfly”. Uhm, where’s’ Good ‘Ol George Foremen to Knock Yuhs Out!

 

After wading thru the pandemonium Ye Bloody Daily Mail rag was frothing about over thoust Axing of Liam Lawson. I have to say I mused to Thyself how la Scuderia must be most content to have the pressure taken off of them regarding their first ever double disqualification from a Grand Prix, eh? Although Ferrari will need to drastically improve at Suzuka, results-wise. Seriously, lagging behind Williams in the Constructors standings, Yikes!

 

Whilst I doubt I’ll ever be a fan of Max Blunderhead’s, nee Naximilian Verstappen. You cannot underestimate His driving prowess. As last year’s Sao Paolo Grand Prix still clearly stands out as His best drive to me.

 

Not to mention the immense amount ‘O pressure the Dutchman relieved for Red Bull by winning from pole on Sunday…

 

No, what peeves me off is the Free pass the Hierarchy at Red Bull Racing seemingly is getting somewhat, with it’s Mega’ Damage control spin job. Touting how this is being done to save Lawson’s future and for the good of the team, Bully!

 

Since I can no longer recall how long I’ve been scribbling here on No Fenders about der Helmut tossing out drivers like luke warm bathwater, Ja Volt! As how far back do we wish to go?

 

While the Pied Piper of F1 Chris Horner serenely states that they’re looking forward to Yuki Tsunoda’s vast wealth of experience to help sort out the troublesome RB21, Seriously? Hmm, why didn’t Horner and Dr. Helmut Marco see fit to put the Japanese driver in straight away? Or does the reported increase of Honda money have something to do with this change of heart?

 

As the names Scott Speed, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Sebastien Bourdais immediately spring to mind. While being reminded of Jaime Alguersuari, Jean-eric Vergne, Sebastian Buemi, etc.

 

Not to mention the harshness Nyck de Vries suffered during His ten race outing at Alphatauri. Before somebody named DannyRic’, aka Daniel Ricciardo replaced Him, and so it goes…

 

While it’s also been well documented over the fortunes of Maximus’ Hothead’s past Red Bull F1 teammates Pierre Gasly who was swapped mid-season for Alexander Albon. And then Albon being demoted to test and reserve driver in favour of Sergio Perez. All suffering crushing blows to their F1 careers as Verstappen’s teammate at the Big Bulls’ outfit since the Dutchman’s arrival in 2016.

 

Going back even further, it was also pointed out how Daniil Kvyat suffered a similar fate accompli as Lawson has. Although the Russian driver was at least given a full season before being demoted to Scuderia Toro Rosso in order to make way for Formula 1 Wunderkind Max Verstappen. While Gasly also suffered the same demotion before ultimately moving onto Alpine…

 

The saddest statement or indictment of Red Bull’s driver blunder is the fact that Lawson lasted only half as long as Japanese driver Yuji Ide did for Super aguri in 2006, Youza! Especially since I’d rate the 23yr old Kiwi’ Lawson as a far superior talent vs. Ide!

 

While to underscore the brilliance of Verstappen, to date Max has won 64 of Red Bull’s 123 victories, which I believe equates to over 50%! Not to mention His 41 pole positions equals more than one third of the team’s 104 to date. As Red Bull quickly approaches it’s 400th Grand Prix, a mere pittance vs. Ferrari’s All-time ledger of 1,100 and counting! Although Red Bull is only celebrating it’s 20th Anniversary in Formula 1 vs. Ferrari having raced since 1950.

 

While at least Marco’s willing to admit that Red Bull is missing the genious of Adrian Newey, as even Max says this year’s RB21 is a handful to drive!

 

Yet Tsunoda’s placement at Red Bull can surely only be seen as a stop-gap measure with Honda becoming Aston Martin’s Werks’ Power Unit (PU) supplier beginning next year. While Honda Racing Company president Koji Watanabe  has already confirmed that Honda’s funding of drivers at Red Bull will cease at year’s end. Thus presumably leaving the door open for either Lawson to return, or Isack Hadjar to join the roiling Hot driver barbeque at Red Bull.

 

But I’d say that Red Bull’s bigger problem is keeping Verstappen, since inevitably the Dutchman will either move to another F1 team or retire from the sport, leaving Red Bull in a vacuum! As Red Bull seemingly has nobody in it’s vaunted Junior Academy to emulate Max’s impressive winning tally for the Energy Drinks company…

 

As Grizzled F1 Journo’ Joe Saward notes, only two Red Bull Junior Academy drivers have won Grands Prix for Red Bull, i.e.; Sebastian Vettel and Daniel Ricciardo. With Pierre Gasly winning once for Scuderia AlphaTauri, whilst Vettel made history winning both Toro Rosso and Red Bull’s maiden Grand Prix victory, if I remember correctly?

 

Meanwhile one of Red Bull’s two Blowhard, as ironically Joe Saward noted being somewhere in Hornerwald prior to the latest Red Bull Messopotamia. Noted that it wouldn’t be surprising for Lawson to outqualify Tsunoda in the Racing bull, which is noted for being quick in Qualie’.

 

And talk about pressure, as Yuki will be under immense scrutiny by His Home Nation’s Fans…

 

As this gives Alpine’s rookie Jack Doohan a slight reprieve, making me think of the following scenario. Imagine that Williams had justdumpedCarlos Sainz Jr. who’s reportedly been struggling for pace in the FW47 after just two races in favour of Alpine/Williams reserve driver Franco Colapinto…

 

As the Box score will show that Tsunoda finished P12 at Suzuka, with Lawson P17. Although one race doesn’t make a very large sample size. And in fairness to Lawson, Yuki’s in His fifth full season having just made His 90th start in Japan. While Lawson has only raced two partial seasons as a replacement driver, having just capped His 14th start

 

 As Formula 1 is a brutal sport, perhaps even Blood Sport, Eh? As the $64k question now is how well does Lawson progress from this setback? Or will the Red Bull Hierarchy see fit to replace Lawson at season’s end?

 

While “Wouldn’t It be Ironic”, (Alanis) if Verstappen and Tsunoda became future teammates at Aston Martin… 

Raging Bulls Showdown in Suzuka

But Don’t forget about Monsieur Hadjar, Wee-Wee!

 

Even though it was Alpine’s Jack Doohan’s Mega’ crash which arguably was thee Talking Point of Friday’s two practice sessions at Suzuka. Much Attenzione was being paid to the intra-squad Scrum of Red Bull’s “Junior” drivers, i.e.; Yuki Tsunoda v Liam Lawson. For which I decided to follow along…

 

Tsunoda wowed the Home crowd straight out of the box during (Free Practice) FP1, finishing an electrifying sixth for Red Bull, with newly demoted Liam Lawson P13 back at Racing Bulls. Yet Lawson flipped the script in FP2, with an impressive fifth, whilst Tsunoda was a lowly P18, the first driver in the 1:30’s.

 

Yet even more impressive was Lawson’s Racing Bulls teammate Isack Hadjar, who finished third in FP2, while the Wunderkind they’re all chasing, i.e.; Max Verstappen was eighth in FP2. With Max fifth and Hadjar eight inFP1.

 

Saturday’s FP3 saw the Red Bull quartet led by Max Blunderhead in fifth. Followed by Tsunoda ninth, Hadjar tenth and Lawson 12th.

 

Qualifying saw the two drivers not on our “Watch list”, i.e.; Verstappen and Hadjar once again outperforming the two Red Bull protagonists. With Hadjar getting much made over His apparent discomfort during Qualie’s Q1 session, when apparently His lap belt(s) were too tight!

 

Sky sports lead “Punter” Kroftie’, aka David Kroft deftly let Theodorre, not Lenny Kravitz due the heavy lifting on this subject. With Kravitz musing over how apparently Hadjar was in immense pain from His belts being too tight upon His lower extremity. Saying He wasn’t sure if His boxers or briefs were balling up underneath His Firesuit. Before saying that guest Pundit Jacques Villeneuve had more experience on the matter, before brief banter about fireproof boxers…

 

Whilst Kravitz prattled on about non-ferrous materials in regards to the F1 chassis titanium skid blocks sending sparks into the overly dry grass and igniting multiple grass fires! For which there inturn caused multiple Red Flags to be thrown in order for workers to dose each fire…

 

Reportedly the rookie Frenchman got the matter straightened out between Qualie’ sessions, feeling much better during Q2 and once again outperforming, by qualifying a fine seventh!

 

Meanwhile, Yuki Tsunoda and Liam Lawson were in lockstep with each other. Ultimately Lawson qualified one place ahead of a dejected Tsunoda. With Lawson P13 and Tsunoda P14 after Williams Carlos Sainz Jr. was demoted three places for blocking Ferrari’s Lewis Hamilton on a “Hot” lap, and would start P15.

 

Verstappen put in what Frederico Suave, nee Fred Alonso called a magical lap, as nobody, including MaxiMillions’ saw Him pulling a Wabbit’ from His Nomex underwear, HaHa!

 

Pipping McLaren’s Lando Norris by one hundredth second for pole on His final “Flyer” qualifying lap! Being Blunderhead’s 41st pole position, for which Verstappen was obviously overjoyed.

 

And then the “Money” round, nee Sunday’s race certainly wasn’t worth staying up until thoust wee hours of the morning! As I opted for the Sunday morning encore presentation Chock-Oh-Block Full of the Mothers Shoe Polish lady Nicole Briscoe cooing in our ears…

 

As I found it to be a very  dull race, dare I say another F1 Snoozefest? As Verstappen led wire-to-wire from pole. With the only time Lando Norris got close to overtaking Max was during the duo’s lone pitstop, where they came out virtually wheel-to-wheel, with Norris going onto the grass in order to kee from hitting Max. Before it was Game over!

 

Isack Hadjar dropped one position to Lewis Hamilton, finish eighth. While Tsunoda trundled home P12. Obviously not what Yuki or His adoring Japanese fans wished for.

 

While Liam Lawson went backwards during the race, finishing two positions behind another under fire driver, Alpine’s Jack Doohan. With Lawson finishing a rather lackluster P17… 

Tornado Hits John force Racing, Brownsburg and Indiana

Aerial view of EF-2 category Twister that left it’s indelible mark upon locals in Indiana.

 

No Fenders Offical’ Photographer Carpets’ alerted me to the news regarding the tornado that struck Brownsburg, Indiana and other nearby areas of Fishers, Carmel, etc.

 

Many homes and businesses were damaged, and some presumably destroyed during the tornado that struck around 9:40PM Wednesday night. With winds reportedly reaching a peak velocity of 120mph!

 

An Industrial Park along I-74 in Brownsburg was in the path of the tornado, knocking down a Sur La Table warehouse, along with damaging a nearby O’Reilly’s warehouse. Including tossing semi-truck trailers around like rag dolls at the O’Reillys Distribution Center!

 

Brownsburg is home to many NHRA teams, where unfortunately John force Racing’s (JHR) facility wasn’t spared in the destructive wake of the tornado. For which the following image supposedly shows damage to their shop’s roof.

 

Ironically, when awaiting for the United States Grand Prix MotoGP race from Austin, Texas to finally be shown on FS1 last Sunday evening. I had Thy Telie’ turned on and happened to catch “Fast Jack” Beckman win the NHRA Winter Nationals at Pomona, CA. Before hearing Beckman triumphantly noting how He was part of nine drivers who’d won 143 times and the “boss” John force had won 157 times to give JFR it’s 300th Funny Car win, Staggering!

 

As it sounds like it will take a long time for Brownsburg and the rest of those impacted in Indiana to rebuild and restore their premises…

 

Image C/O No Fenders Offical’ Photographer CARPETS’ 

Disappointment abounds over Airwaves, at Racetrack

Can you Hear me now Fox and IndyCar Radio? As I just remembered that ‘Ol Internet  Error code 404…

 

Jumping ahead of myself here. But as David Land recently used the word “Optics” in His discussion regarding the Thermal Club IndyCar race. I’d have to say that MotoGP has a Ginormous optics issue Stateside!

 

As seriously, the lone United States Grand Prix isn’t even aired live, WTF! And dually treated like the proverbial Red Headed Step Seester’ by being aired at 6:30PM Pacific on FS1. Although that’s only if the NASCAR race at Martinsville doesn’t run long, or the NHRA experience any problems…

 

As how many people will either know about where the MotoGP race is being broadcasted or care about tuning in?

 

“It’s A Shame, such A Shame

No one was able to ease the pain

A Red-Headed Wild Flower

Growing in the wrong garden”

 

Sing it Little River Band…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAe7ARwDYzU

 

Yet this No Fenders post is supposed to be about the Thermal Club IndyCar race, along with the Chinese Grand Prix Formula 1 held in Shanghai, which for Mwah, were both fairly processional races. Whilst I’ll leave the debate over whether or not IndyCar should return to the Thermal Club for others to pontificate over.

 

Surely Y’all have read, heard or witnessed FOX’s “Brownout” during the Thermal Club IndyCar race. Which according to the IndyStar’s Nathan Browne lasted for 20 mins from approximately lap 28 to 42, when a circuit breaker “tripped” itself in one of the two IMS Productions Broadcast Trucks. As the root cause seems to have been the Heat, with the Fahrenheit nudging up against 90 degrees ambient.

 

Yet one must say it’s a sad state of affairs when your default is to switch to the NASCAR race in progress whilst trying to fix this failure…

 

Being ensconced once again on the tranquil Vashon Island for the St Pete IndyCar season opener. I grew very annoyed with the multiple Dumping's the IndyCar Radio Broadcast had during the race. Even totally losing the broadcast twice, for which I just had to wonder if it was our internet service on Ye Island? Although as far as I know, no Washington Sate ferry’s have “accidently” cut any telecommunications cables from the Mainland, but I digress…

 

Yet the Thermal Club’s IndyCar Radio broadcast mimicked St Pete’s, Urgh! As perhaps the new IMS Production trucks have a new Bark ‘O Meter installed? Since it seems that whenever Mark Gravelly’ James goes into full-stop manufactured frothing, Screaming excitement, the Intrawoods’ drops the broadcast! Thus again, the programme went “Dark” on the opening lap of the race, as I frantically refreshed the page to try finding out what I’d missed? When apparently Sparky’, aka Devlin DeFrancesco tried His Bestest Paul Tracy Chrome Horn treatment on ScottyMac’, ergo Scott McLaughlin. With Sparky’ chirping at McLaughlin after the race…

 

Then again, the Internets’ feed Dumped when James went into a lather over Alex Palou chasing down the race’s leader Pato O’Ward, WTF! Actually it was All of the excitement over Palou going wheel-to-wheel with Christian Lundgaard which I had to frantically refresh. And then again at the finish of the race!

 

Hmm, perhaps the new, waxed string used for IndyCar Radio events melted in the Coachella Valley Heat, Eh?

 

And this doesn’t include when the broadcast was dropped momentarily before resuming broadcasting. With James noting how they’d lost timing and scoring during the race, presumably when FOX had gone Dark for those twenty minutes.

 

Although there was less dropping of the broadcast for this second race of the season. Nonetheless, when Dumping at the race’s crucial points, it just makes the whole event feel overly disjointed and somewhat hard to enjoy! Since after all I’d Arse-sume that most of us loyal, diehard racing Aficionados tune-in for entertainments sake, Eh? And I’d guess that the touted Youth Generation Demographic IndyCar is so desperately chasing doesn’t put up with such continuing nonsense!

 

Meanwhile,you’d have to say that the Chinese Grand Prix was even duller than the IndyCar race, for which I was happy with the outcome of Oscar Piastri, my Numero doce F1 driver leading wire-to-wire. As the only real excitement during the Sunday morning’s 9AM Pacific replay,Err Encore presentation with copious amounts of the Mothers shoe Polish lady Nicole Briscoe’s insessant interuptions was the Ferrari Boyz’ playing Argie-Bargie. As what front wing endplate Ma? As Leclerc is Faster than you Louis, please confirm…

 

Nope, the real Shanghai fireworks occurred some three hours after the race, when both Suderiea cars were DQ’ed, the first time in Ferrari’s 75yr history to have both racecars disqualified from an event! Although Pierre Gasly’s Alpine was also disqualified.

 

Both Gasly and Leclerc’s cars were disqualified due to being underneath the minimum weight, presumably due to running ultra-long stints on the Hard Pirelli tyre compound, having both been one kilo underweight, i.e.; 2.2lbs.

 

As recall that George Russell was stripped of His victory at Spa-Francorchamps last year when suffering a similar fate, having run an extra-long stint on the hard rubber compound, albeit several other drivers at Shanghai also ran long stints to no detriment. Meaning that Ferrari and Alpine simply cut the margins too close.

 

Hamilton’s Ferrari SF25 was disqualified for excessive plank wear, with the minimum allowance being 9mm after race’s end. WithLouis’s Ferrari measuring 8.6mm on both the RHS and Centerline, and 8.5mm on the LHS, or visa-versa, since I don’t remember now. Other than the “Jabarock” glass infused “plank” to prevent teams from running their chassis too low was worn below the minimum ground clearance, and so it goes…

 

And that’s before we even get to Red Bull’s latest round of Driver Whackamole! Whilst hopefully IndyCar can sort out it’s media transmissions issues before Long Beach, which presumably will be another Hot race?